Author Archive
I remember from reading the CWG books that Neale mentions here and there the concepts of building and maintaining a conscious relationship. However, I was wondering whether there is any specific material out there that is solely focused on this topic. Blessings and joy to you…Annalisa
Dear Annalisa…Neale addressed a similar question in our Spiritual Mentoring Program call on Saturday by saying this:
“1. Need nothing. 2. Understand everything. 3. Love all.”
Please allow me to elaborate:
1. In a relationship if we Need nothing specific from the other, we can save ourselves a lot of grief. For example, I have found that with my family, sometimes we are pulled in different directions, each of us having our own agenda, especially around the holidays. Things run much more smoothly for me if I don’t attach myself to any particular plan—if I don’t Need anything in particular to happen—allowing Life to lead me where it will. This appeases everyone, so therefore, I am at peace as well!
2. Entire relationships, indeed, entire lives have been ruined by people who misunderstand the actions of another and hold grudges against them, rather than sitting down, talking things out, and arriving at mutual understanding about why they did what they did. When we Understand the reasons why others do what they do, forgiveness is automatic. Neale calls this “Forgiveness Forgone” because forgiveness is a foregone conclusion when we Understand the reasons people do things we might consider negative.
3. To Love all doesn’t mean “free love” in the 1960s sense, as the hit song from that era, “Love the One You’re With” recommended. Rather, it means, Love everything that shows up. Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is explains this beautifully. Another author, Rick Steves, who is my favorite travel writer, says, “If something isn’t to your liking, change your liking.” This is a very profound statement that takes on a much deeper meaning than simply what to do while traveling. If we learn to love Life exactly as it is showing up—if we can see the perfection in all of Life—then we live the path of least resistance. This is not to say we are not at choice in every moment. We are, and we’re always invited by Life to Choose Again… to re-create ourselves anew in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever we held about Who We Are. Yet, to do this while living a life resisting nothing is to walk the path of the great Masters.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I am scared and confused, and I wish someone would tell me what is the REAL DEAL about how God feels about sexual intimacy between people who love each other but aren’t married yet. I am caught between the Bible and what CWG has to say. From what I have read of CWG, God seems very easy going about sex. The Bible implies (and sometimes firmly states) that sexual purity is a must and that God won’t hear the prayers of someone who is sexually immoral. But, I’m not trying to be immoral. I just want to love and be loved by the person of my choice. Why is that bad? My friendship with God means everything to me. He is my best friend and He has walked with me my whole life. I don’t want to feel like I am betraying him by being disobedient. All I want is to do the right thing. Can you give me your perspective? Thank you, Annie, for listening… Frances
Dear Frances…Thank you for reaching out. You asked for the “REAL DEAL about how God feels about sexual intimacy between people who love each other but aren’t married yet.”
Okay, here it is: God = Love. God is all there is, everywhere present, in all things seen and unseen. Love is all there is, everywhere present, in all things seen and unseen (even though it’s hard to recognize sometimes, when it’s been distorted by fear).
Since God is all there is, and Love is all there is, how can any expression of Love between two people possibly be bad? It cannot, dear Frances. Love wants to be expressed, and that’s what we came here to physicality for. YOU get to decide what feels right for you, and no matter what decision you make, please know that God loves you and is perfectly okay with it. God will never abandon you. It is impossible for the reason stated above: You are part of God, because God is all there is.
Please allow yourself to feel pure joy. Allow yourself to live your own truth. And always, allow yourself to feel love, in whatever way feels joyous and true to you!
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
What happens if you simply do not feel love for a certain person (even if it’s a spouse or mother). The feeling of “love” is just not there. Do you act as if you do or convince yourself that you do love them even though you don’t feel it until you do feel it? You can care for a person and don’t want any harm to them, but just don’t “love” them. Perhaps I have the wrong perception of what love is or can be. I love my two children to death (figure of speech); therefore, I know what feeling love is. What are your thoughts as I’m struggling with this. Blessings, Lyne
Dear Lyne…My mother has always said we love in many different ways. I don’t love my sister the same way that I love my father. I don’t love a former sweetheart the same way I love my husband. I don’t even love my favorite cat Pippin the same way I love our kitten, Beanie! This is because each and every one of us is unique.
I also think it’s entirely possible to love someone at an intellectual level, but not like them, or at least, not like their actions or their way of being in the world. Remember, we are vibratory beings. And just as in music, vibrations either resonate and or they’re dissonant. When two vibrations resonate, they flow harmoniously together, but when two vibrations are dissonant, it feels quite uncomfortable. It might help you to understand, though, that just because certain wave forms may not resonate with each other, it doesn’t make either one of them “bad.” Sometimes our vibes just don’t jibe!
I’m sorry if this isn’t the answer you want to hear about your spouse, but I learned the hard way (after a long seven-year relationship) that I couldn’t force myself to feel romantic love. I loved the guy “to death,” to use your words, thinking that I would eventually fall in love with him, but it never happened. Our bond was loyal and deep and full of love, just not that kind of love. The chemistry was just not there and I couldn’t will it to happen, no matter how much I wanted to. Perhaps other people are different, but I know I’ll never go down that road again. Thankfully, we parted in the kindest, most loving way possible. And after enough healing time, we ended up remaining the dear friends we were all along… thank God!
Now, in the case of your mother, who you are expected to spend some amount of time with throughout your life, it may indeed, behoove you to act as if you love her if you want to spare her feelings, but always “to thine own self be true.” You either feel love for her or you don’t, and it doesn’t make you a bad daughter if you don’t. Give yourself the breathing room you need in the relationship and forgive yourself for your feelings if you haven’t done so already. If you think you can be with her from time to time in a positive way, you might feel good about doing that, especially for her sake, but I would make the phone calls or visits brief enough that you stay happy throughout the encounters. It wouldn’t serve either of you if the visits are so long they begin to deteriorate.
I hope this helps, Lyne. If you need more personal assistance with this, please feel free to call on one of us CWG Life Coaches. The first session is always free. You can find out more about this opportunity by following this link here:
Conversations with God Life Coaches
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of The Conversations With God School, is a CWG Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
My boyfriend can’t forgive me because for the first year we dated I never invited him to my apartment. I was embarrassed because his apartment is so much nicer than mine, so I was always making excuses not to have him over. He thinks it was because I was unfaithful and living with another guy but nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve tried to explain it to him but he’s still holding it against me. I love him so much and miss the good times we had together. How can I regain his trust?… Mandy
Dear Mandy,
You’ve learned the hard way, I’m afraid, that relationships can’t prosper fully when one is intentionally withholding information from another. That said, if you’ve sincerely apologized and explained your reasons and he still won’t forgive you, it’s probably time you have a heart to heart talk and try to find out what’s really going on with him. Set an intention for clarity and honest, open, peaceful communication. Here are a few talking points that might help get you started:
The way I see it, and please correct me if I’m wrong, if you haven’t yet forgiven me, it must be for one of these three reasons:
1. Because I haven’t explained why I did what I did, well enough for you to understand. I’ll gladly try one more time if you want me to.
2. If I have explained it fully and you understand what I’m saying, but you choose not to believe me, there is nothing I can do about that.
3. If I have explained it fully and you understand what I’m saying and you do believe me, but you choose to hold and carry a grudge, there is nothing I can do about that, either.
Are any of these scenarios true for you or are you using what I did as an excuse because you don’t have the courage to tell me that your feelings about me have changed? Or maybe you never really felt the same way about me that I feel about you?
CWG says there is nothing to forgive; there is only to understand. God fully understands the reasons behind everything we’ve ever done—what our fears were, what our thought processes were about that fear, and why it drove us to make that “mistake” (of course, there really are no mistakes in the Universe). That is why we need not ask forgiveness from God. Even before we ask it is already given.
Also, Mandy, we must always understand and forgive ourselves if we expect to receive understanding and forgiveness from others. This is how the Universe works at a metaphysical level—it reflects back our own thoughts about it. So perhaps the larger question is, Have you forgiven yourself?!
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of The Conversations With God School, is a CWG Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
I’m trying to take my career to the next level by applying for work with some people who are quite famous. They say they love my work and will consider me when they have an opening. I feel like I’ve reached out to them as much as I should at this point, so how do I stay on their radar without making a nuisance of myself? …Edwin
Dear Edwin… Don’t forget that celebrities are really just people, too, in a different place along their path. They don’t have anything you don’t have. Their awareness that they have it is the only difference. Don’t be in awe of them. Just love them for Who They Really Are and allow their perceived successes to be an inspiration to you. Express your gratitude to them for showing you what you are also capable of, and be a friend when given the opportunity to interact with them.
For now, just send loving vibes. Let the energy do the work of reaching out. We always think we have to do it on the physical plane, but we don’t. It is equally effective to reach out energetically as long as we do so from a happy, excited-about-the-prospects-and-possibilities place. Surround them with love and light and envision your working together. See it as happening now. Pre-pave it at the energetic/thought level and love it into existence. This is how to consciously create everything. Simply love it into existence!
Don’t try to force it into being. Never force it. That gives the opposite result because it is a resistant action, and what we resist persists.
Love-Allow-Embrace-Expect-Experience-Enjoy!
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of The Conversations With God School, is a CwG Life Coach and author/instructor of the CwG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
How can I lovingly respond to friends who tell me that the only way to access God is through Jesus Christ and that I will be condemned if I don’t accept him as my Lord and Savior? I love Conversations With God and still attend a Christian church, but I am beginning to feel alienated there. Please help!… Patt
Dear Patt… My father, who believes as your Christian friends do, once told me he was worried about my Soul. I told him as earnestly as I could that God and I have a wonderful, loving, close personal relationship and he need worry no more! I think it helped ease his mind.
Living in Nashville, the city some refer to as the Buckle of the Bible Belt, I sometimes find myself in conversations about my CwG work with fundamentalist Christians. When this happens, I make an effort to relate to them in terminology that they can understand. I look for common ground in these discussions because the foundational principles of Jesus’ teaching and Conversations With God are not so very different, although CwG offers us a much larger view of Life and how it works. Knowing that each of these discussions is an opportunity to gently introduce people to CwG and to help expand their spiritual awareness, I try my best to be impeccable with my word and as loving as possible.
Since you are being proselytized to, Patt, you may want to suggest setting judgment aside and listening with an open mind when discussing each other’s beliefs. Then speak your truth, but soothe your words with peace and loving kindness. Don’t be surprised, though, if, as time goes on, you feel yourself being pulled more toward other people who share your beliefs. You may even find that a different church or spiritual center more deeply resonates with you, and please don’t feel guilty about it if this happens. You may make wonderful new friends who will support you on your life’s journey and in your spiritual growth.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of The Conversations With God School, is a CwG Life Coach and author/instructor of the CwG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
