The Global Conversation

Category: What Others Are Saying

  • Peace in the workplace

    Humanity longs for peace; between people, communities and nations. Yet, there is an arena in dire need of healing that is rarely addressed.  The workplace, where millions of people spend the majority of their waking hours, is comprised of a web of egos battling and competing for power and validation. Managers are disempowering employees, co-workers are hurting and sabotaging one another, and the environment is often fraught with blame, paranoia, rivalry, insecurity, gossip and greed. It is literally an emotional combat zone.

    Fear of reprisal prevents people from addressing or even acknowledging the pain they are suffering. The atmosphere of reaction and counter-reaction feeds on itself and is difficult to see or escape when you are engaged in it. Even so, my audiences from a multitude of industries throughout the country say it is true; people are suffering.

    Your job is not your identity

    As a way to cope in the confusion and often cutthroat environment, we create roles we mistakenly believe will win respect and security. We unconsciously and sometimes very deliberately devise schemes to gain power, approval, and financial security—all entrenching us in the current culture of reaction and counter-reaction.

    We have become so connected to these artificial identities that we have forgotten who we really are. But we are not these identities—they are simply roles we play in the workplace and they belie our incredible authentic power. More than ever before, it is time to rebuild relationships in the workplace by honoring the spirit in ourselves and others that is residing beneath our self-created identities.

    With the current ego-driven, top-down management in today’s workplace, millions of people in businesses of all sizes and various industries feel as though they are in prison with little freedom of self-expression. Fear of losing their jobs, especially in these economically challenging times, causes people to cling to their jobs for security in the very place that brings up all their insecurities. Though difficult to admit, most people are weary of the ongoing drama, wishing for a better environment but feeling stuck, with few options.  But even if they leave one workplace “stage,” without an internal shift, they will find the same issues in the new workplace.

    I would like to share a process that I believe will help each one of us find our own authentic power and inner peace, even in the workplace. As we awaken and remember who we are, we stop playing our roles in the workplace drama. As we, one by one wake up, we begin to unravel the web of interacting egos in the workplace. As we awaken, we simultaneously give others the opportunity to do the same.

    Understanding the competitive work atmosphere

    When working in a business that is fear-based and driven by internal competition, you may have become confused and overwhelmed by the relationship issues. The competitiveness prevents teamwork, cooperation, joy and satisfaction. Even those who seem to thrive on competition can become discouraged by the never-ending pressure and related rivalry. I believe it is absolutely imperative to understand the source of the conflict and stop the paralysis of fear so many are experiencing.

    Conflict occurs as a result of disguised fear. When fear arises within, it is often denied and blocked. When it is blocked, it can harden within, much like frozen ice in a flowing river; preventing all the healthy, normal emotions from flowing through you. Fear becomes you. If allowed, it can overtake your perception of the workplace and the world. It can impact your family life; the very fabric of our human culture.

    Rivalry in the workplace feeds on insecurity and is accelerated by the desire to be appreciated, combined with the fear of failure or humiliation. Attempts are made to expel the pain by blaming, attacking or gossip, which only leads to greater rivalry, competition and jealousy. Few people can withstand the discomfort and pain of being criticized, attacked and blamed by a boss or co-worker. The feeling is literally that of being stabbed and deeply wounded.

    Blaming, attacking and holding a figurative “gun”’ at someone else gives the individuals doing it a false sense of superiority and/or safety. They do not feel the pain they cause in others when they are in the attack mode. But much like real wars between nations, the sense of triumph is short-lived because there is always another enemy. It is time to put down all our weapons—literally and figuratively.

    Finding freedom and peace

    This passage of time is about freedom and deliverance from the chains that have bound you. The only answer to unlocking these gridlocks is to finally stop and look within to find the source of the pain. But we resist looking within because we are afraid of opening up a dirty little secret—that we are not worthy. However, maintaining this belief and holding up this wall of protection takes a lot of energy and causes more pain. It is quite literally exhausting. The truth is that you are more powerful than any of your ego defense mechanisms. Self worth will never be found in perpetuating drama.

    The remedy is to stop reacting, attacking, defending, blaming and fearing to look at your own wound. When you are feeling attacked or undermined, ask yourself the following questions:

    • Who is the source of pain?
    • Why do I allow the attack?
    • Most of all, why do I believe them?  

    Realize the true source of fear by not running away, and instead, allowing it to arise so that it can be recognized and released. As you permit the pain to be felt, you will gradually recall and have memories in your psyche of other painful experiences. This is your opportunity to witness to yourself how you received and came to believe these ideas and descriptions of yourself and how these fears have become you!  When you recognize the fear is inside you, you will be liberated. You will be free to respond from your authentic self without blame or defense.

    Discovering your true self, your inner spiritual greatness, is difficult to do when you have incorrect beliefs about yourself. Clearing out the fictitious thoughts about yourself requires the willingness to face your pain and your greatest fear—that you are not worthy. Allow the pain that is hurting you now to be the door to your release. You do not have to keep replaying this scene of emotional suffering. The truth is that you are glorious beyond words–all these little beliefs are nothing but shadowy veils. These veils of protection keep us from being fully alive and joyous by filtering the light and shrouding us from seeing our true selves.

    When we can replace fear with trust and compassion, there will be a shift in consciousness. People everywhere will be restored to their true identities, their inner spiritual greatness intended by the Creator. What a blessed day when we take off our ego-defined masks and see our brothers and sisters standing there, our beloved fellow souls, whom we had mistakenly identified as the enemy—both in the workplace and the world.

    (Danna Beal, M.Ed., resides in Bellevue, Washington, and is an international speaker and author of “The Extraordinary Workplace:  Replacing Fear with Trust and Compassion.” She has spoken to over 300 business groups and been on over 60 radio shows. She conducts workshops on Enlightened Leadership and Healing the Workplace Culture. She can be reached at www.dannabeal.com and https://www.facebook.com/Healingtheworkplaceculture. )

     (If you have a Guest Column that you would like to submit, send it to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.  Not all material submitted is accepted for publication, but we appreciate each submission.)

     

  • Are you willing?

    Has your life become one struggle or challenge after another which never seems to end? It doesn’t have to be that way any longer. Eventually all come to a time and place where enough is enough and we become willing to do whatever is necessary in order to end the pain we are facing. It is sad we endure so much more than we have to in most cases. Many are just not yet willing to let go of the old, the past, in favor of a new and uncertain tomorrow, a tomorrow filled with joy and purpose, when we become open to the possibility that our struggles are really in our own best interest and not something we need to avoid.

    All too often we spend the majority of our lives trying, unsuccessfully, to avoid any person or situation which may have caused us pain in the past. Not only do we unsuccessfully avoid the pain, typically we just increase the number of situations in life which will cause us pain in the future.

    As we learn to embrace the changes going on in our lives not as something we need to avoid, but instead as part of the process of our growth, we are now moving towards a life of creation rather than one of reaction. When we begin to create our lives consciously, we no longer have to get so caught up in all the challenges and dramas life brings. We now have a choice in the matter on how we will respond to change.

     AN ENERGY SHIFT IS NEEDED

    I have been working through a personal challenge of my own in my life. Each time I think I am making progress and getting closer to finally moving beyond it, I find myself slipping back a couple steps. Fortunately, I have been through this process a number of times and know each little bit of forward progress is, in reality, a huge step to overcoming my challenge, even if I slip backwards now and then. It shows me I still haven’t reached the point of being entirely willing to let go.

    I was talking with a friend recently about the challenges she faces after her epileptic seizures, both the physical ones as well as the mental ones. From talking to her, I saw how just shifting her energy slightly, before and after she experiences her seizures, she would be able to transition out of the negative energy states much quicker if she had just a bit of willingness to have a different experience. I was happy to hear from her yesterday that even though she had a seizure-filled weekend, she was up and functioning quite well by Monday afternoon.

    Willingness is an action step in many cases. The way to see if someone is willing or not is to see how they will take action in their lives. Talk is cheap, and our actions speak much louder than words in many cases. I see this often in the recovery meetings I attend. We will have new people come into the program, their life in chaos due to the addiction, yet they do not follow through on the suggestions they receive from the members with experience. To me, this is a perfect example of a lack of willingness. In many cases, following a few simple suggestions (willingness) could have made all the difference for them.

    WILLINGNESS FOLLOWS YOUR PASSION

    “Passion is the love of turning being into action. It fuels the engine of creation. It changes concepts to experience…. Never deny passion, for that is to deny Who You Are, and Who You Truly Want To Be.” – Neale Donald Walsch

    Neale’s words here are a perfect example of how we can increase our willingness to succeed in life. The more we are in touch with and doing things in our lives that fuel our passions, our dreams and visions, the easier it becomes to raise the bar on our levels of commitment to achieve more.

    Think of a time in your life when you wanted something so bad and you were willing to do anything to achieve it. Maybe you had to start your day early and end it late. Perhaps you had to stretch your comfort zone and try new things. We will not have that type of commitment for something we are not passionate about. It is like a fuel to get us moving each day, striving to be and do more than we may have ever done in the past.

    When the actions we are taking in our lives are an outward expression of Who we Are and Who we truly want to be,  it opens us up to become entirely willing to do the things in life which we may have balked at in the past. This is willingness in action.

    IT’S POSSIBLE TIME

    As we dial into each moment, staying focused on our dreams and passions, we are just steps away from all we desire. Presence in this moment is another tool of willingness.

    Willingness is a choice you must make over and over again until it becomes a habit you are not willing to let go of, no matter what happens in your life, no matter what obstacle shows up!

    The next time you face a major challenge in your life, take the time to pause and remember willingness is the spiritual solution to all your problems.

    (Mark A. Michael offers mentoring based on his understanding of the concepts and principles of “Conversation With God” and is part of the Spiritual Helper Team at www.changingchange.net.  He can be reached at www.beyondfaithintofreedom.com.)

  • So what about those negative thoughts and feelings?

    Now, negative thoughts and frustrations will, and do, come in from time to time, sometimes a lot more if we’ve made them a kind of unconscious habit. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing; it’s just a part of how we currently process life. It’s often very temporary, and it’s okay to feel these frustrations. We can even break these negative thinking habits by the practice of patience, forgiveness, loving kindness, and compassion we show on and toward ourselves and others.

    The trouble is we tend to be culturally conditioned to focus on them too much and stay in them too long.  This is when they can become unhealthy and less beneficial.

    I suggest instead to acknowledge them – thank them, if you will – for pointing out that there’s something going on that you don’t prefer.  Thus, your negative thoughts, feelings, and frustrations are letting you know you desire change.

    Now, you can also practice and remember that you don’t have to get caught up in, or stay so focused on, those temporary negative thoughts and feelings.  Instead, just be more aware that they actually are wise friends, pointing you toward what you do prefer.

    Negative thoughts, in fact, can have a very positive benefit!  They have an important message.

    They are simply pointing out, or letting you know, that something is important enough to create a feeling energy in you to “course-correct” yourself, if you choose.

    What would happen if you now saw your negative thoughts and frustrations as your spirit hinting strongly that it’s asking for an adjustment attunement from you to get you to a place of peace and harmony?  Wow! We were never taught that in school or at home! That’s your spirit directing you to course correction.

    Frustrations, irritations, annoyances, setbacks, anger, pain, interruptions, BIG or small, can be seen as energy bursts that happen as we desire to better our lives, become more peaceful, balanced, whole and prosperous, etc.  These frustrations and so forth come to us in answer to our desires to improve our lives, and they can help us get there more quickly by the high energy charge they give us.  We see them as negative, but that is our culturally conditioned judgment we place on them.

    If we allow it, we see that this is life calling us in answer to our spiritual life improvements we desire to have.  It doesn’t have to always come in the guise of negative thoughts, frustrations, etc.  Yet if and when it does, we can use them for our benefit rather than our determent.  That shows we are ready to move ahead with better improvements with our lives, which is why they come in the first place.

    We are indoctrinated into believing that negative thoughts and feelings are bad, that they create bad energy and experiences; whereas, another more beneficial way to look at them, or use them, is that they are showing us that something is important enough to us to cause such a strong energy, and by the feelings they create, they can powerfully move us to positive, beneficial,  and welcome change.

    They get us there more quickly than when things are going so-so.  These are powerful energy movers that are created or called forth for our betterment.  They are here to motivate and show us the way to living the life we so desire.  That is their divine cosmic purpose. That is their gift and blessing we often overlook.

    But not anymore!

    We have another way to see and perceive negative thoughts and feelings. They are secretly disguised course-correctors, the GPS  from our spirit to direct us to more positive lives and experiences.

    When we are ready and open enough in our hearts and minds and, thus, look more deeply into life, we see that it is set up in such a way that it works and plays in our ultimate favor.  The negative is here for contrast and free will choosing.  As we dive and peer deeply into the cosmic microscope, we see that good is actually behind and underneath it all.  Wow!

    The mind can’t usually conceive this, but the heart, your spirit, your soul, your true self can.  That’s what led you here to begin with, don’t you think?  That is, to place within your current experience an alternative and beautiful way to see life as an expression of Original Blessing and Original Grace.  This article is an answer to your call for understanding.  That’s what the angels tell me anyway.

    Using negative thoughts and feelings in this way eventually can become so habitual that we will eventually have less need to have thoughts show up negatively as we gain more wisdom.  Yet using the wisdom, gifts, and blessings behind the seeming negatives works and plays for our benefit, our improved joy in life.  Such is the secret wisdom behind the seeming negative if we but look and honor it.

    That’s a win-win!

    (Marko Damkoehler is an artist/writer/musician and creator of markoworld.com, as well as an avid student of CwG. He is also one of the Spiritual Helper Moderators on the changingchange.net website.)

    (If you have a Guest Column that you would like to submit, send it to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.  Not all material submitted is accepted for publication, but we appreciate each submission.)

  • A new way of living for the highest good of all

    “In order to change an existing paradigm, you do not struggle to try and change the problematic model. You create a new model and make the old one obsolete. That, in essence, is the higher service to which we are all being called.”

    – Buckminster Fuller

    There are many challenges that we are facing in the world today. Humanity’s home, planet earth, is in jeopardy.  And as time goes on, the issues continue to rise at a rapid rate, even accelerating to the point that many of us may have lost hope.

    There are people in this country who are struggling to keep their homes, their jobs, pay their power bills, and feed their families. Millions around the world are homeless, without power, and starving to death at a rate of over 40,000 people a day.

    But instead of echoing what a growing number have been saying for years, we want to focus on a solution and believe that the future we want tomorrow is not only possible, but that we already have all the resources necessary to make it happen. Now it’s up to us to join hands, lock arms, and collaborate on a new way of living, one that strives for the highest good of all.

    To help facilitate the shift from where we are now to what we know is possible, One Community (a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization) was formed after 15 years of planning, with the mission to provide what is necessary for the re-creation of this world as a cooperative of self-sufficient and sustainable communities. Their path to accomplishing such a lofty goal? To demonstrate and inspire.

    Firmly believing in the possibility of sustainable world development, One Community sees a working model as resource efficient, zero waste, and holistic living, with widespread appeal as the key to launching global change like never before.

    What makes One Community truly different from existing intentional communities is a commitment to inviting the world to participate and creating what they feel is essential to widespread appeal: It should be affordable, applicable across a diversity of cultures, easily accessible, created so that normal people with average knowledge and little or no experience can duplicate it, be packaged with an transformative education program for all ages, and it must have a marketing engine capable of exposing enough people to build the necessary momentum for it to continue on its own.

    With a 4-point strategy for accomplishment, this is what One Community is creating, and they are open source sharing (free sharing) everything they do so others can follow in their footsteps and evolve it all even further.

    Swiftly moving forward now, they spent two years to find the perfect property, a year building the necessary relationships with the county, are 2 years into architectural planning and development details, and are now focusing on completing their think tank of world-change-dedicated people, with the hope to move onto the property and immediately break ground in 2013.

    Keeping to their open-source sharing purpose and communicating with as many like-minded and forward-thinking groups, communities, and organizations as possible, they have been partnering, expanding their network, and free-sharing and giving away everything they create throughout their process of being the change they want to see. As a demonstration of early success, they are happy to say that this has already led to the formation of a “first wave” of communities with shared ideas of living for The Highest Good of All Concerned, launching websites and beginning the creation process with the help of what One Community has already accomplished and is providing.

    One Community is not just another community for sustainability, it is a new way of living For The Highest Good of All and open source think tank of demonstrating solutions that will be able to be duplicated and evolved collaboratively with the rest of the world as we collectively usher in a new Golden Age of civilization.

    For more information and on-going updates visit: www.sustainabilitynonprofit.org or just google “One Community.”

    (Tony Hua and Jae Sabol are two of the founding members of One Community. Tony manages and operates the marketing and open source web optimization and Jae is the Executive Director and overall coordinator of the One Community project. Combined they have over 18 years invested in this vision for an open source blueprint and modeling of a better world for everyone. The best way to reach them is through the www.sustainabilitynonprofit.org website.)

    If you have a Guest Column that you would like to submit, send it to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.  Not all material submitted is accepted for publication, but we appreciate each submission.

  • 50 miles in 50 states in 50 weeks…on my 50th birthday

    On February 7, 2011, I began a 2500 mile “walk the walk and talk the talk” journey for Peace. My intention was to walk 50 miles, in all 50 states, in 50 weeks, in conjunction with my 50th birthday, while spreading the message to anyone who would listen that Peace is our natural state and, to assert that conflict is generated by fear. Moreover, to declare that fear is the result of uncertainties about life. With support from my husband, family, friends and many complete strangers, I achieved this goal on January 21, 2012.

    As humans being provide an integral role in the biosphere (indeed, we are the embodiment of Nature) , I became determined to illustrate that our precious Mother Earth not only demonstrates our inherent peacefulness, but is the perfect model for equanimity. I felt that by demonstrating Nature’s synergy, her impulse to grow effortlessly in an expression of life, to adapt and seek harmony, to thrive efficiently and without waste and to protect only when growth is threatened, that she reflects the most sublime aspects of our being. I believed that with thoughtful consideration, the obvious conclusion would be that something against our nature was creating fear for, devoid of Ego or uncertainty, Nature is certainly fearless!  The effort to capture this concept produced a small book entitled, “From Fear to Eternity: A Path to Peace” that I distributed in every state.

    For me, the Peace Walk was both confirming and illuminating. As most of the 2500 miles was completed on trails, paths and walkways, I was privileged to witness a variety of natural ecosystems and their exquisite coherence. What I didn’t expect was that there is a flourishing network of parks and trails that is literally, reconnecting our country to Nature and to each other. Urban and rural, metropolitan cities and small towns have been and are creating pathways to encourage outside activity, alternative transportation routes and unity amongst the residents. Given the “nature” of the walk, I was most encouraged to find that a majority the 100 or so trails that I traversed were very well-kept and inviting.

    I was also instilled with an abundance of hope for our future. Despite what may be perceived in the media, our country is truly ready for a return to a simpler, more natural time which, invites and requires a reconnection with one another. I found this evident in the profusion of markets, community gardens, outdoor gatherings and ubiquitous “green” practices, as well as, the many discussions about the desire to find a “common ground.”

    Anyone who has read the miraculous Conversations With God series knows the primary tenet is that all Life is unified and its essence is Love. Never, in the history of the world, has the need to evoke this awareness been more crucial. Where we have slowly disconnected ourselves from Nature, we have also disassociated from one another and, until we restore that unity, we will suffer the mire of internal and eternal conflict. We have created a world, disparate of Peace, because too many have allowed the belief that we are separate to supersede our knowing we are ONE.  Now is the time to cease our illusion of division and move “from fear to eternity.”

    (Cassandra Curley, BA, LMT, Author and Messenger of Peace, has studied and been active in the fields of Wellness and Spirituality for more than thirty years. Her journey on the path to find her own inner peace has led her to understand Universal Truths that have been veiled by a false paradigm of judgment. During this critical time in history, while there is willingness for change, her mission is to help illuminate these hidden truths and assist others toward a movement of PEACE. She resides in Winter Springs, Florida with her husband of 28 years, Mark and can be reached through www.cassandracurley.com .)

    If you have a Guest Column that you would like to submit, send it to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.  Not all material submitted is accepted for publication, but we appreciate each submission.

     

     

     

  • Question everything

    Do not believe what you have heard.

    Do not believe in tradition because it is handed down many generations.

    Do not believe in anything that has been spoken of many times.

    Do not believe because the written statements come from some old sage.

    Do not believe in conjecture.

    Do not believe in authority or teachers or elders.

    But after careful observation and analysis, when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it.

     BUDDAH (563 B.C.-483 B.C.)

    When I read this I cried.

    I had never read this before. I am not that familiar with the sacred writings of the Buddah. I was raised a Roman Catholic. Eastern religion was always something that was exotic and foreign to me, and as it turns out, it is something that I have come to resonate with deeply.

    Sometimes it is a hard and lonely road when you wake up and find yourself on that trek and it seems like you are alone. There were many times I wondered, “Am I the only person that feels this way?” I also wondered why I could not let well enough alone and accept the religion of my ancestors. Why I had such an inquiring mind. Why I questioned everything.

    Growing up, I always felt like a fish out of water. Sometimes it would have been much easier to simply be content to swim with the school, but that was not the way my life was playing out. I was different and viewed things differently, and that, for the most part, was not acceptable in my neck of the woods.

    I never believed what I heard. There was always something that a still silent part of me balked at accepting. I can remember being in church on Good Friday and thinking that there is NO WAY that I would ever have done that to Jesus. I was probably about 12. Even then I knew that Love did not operate in that way.

    I tried to fit in. I think that a lot of us try very hard to fit in because we are so darn scared of what could happen if what those folks are saying is true, even if there is just a remote chance of their being right. We all err on the side of caution. The questions get suppressed and the natural inclination to find satisfying answers get depressed. The challenge to organized religion is to somehow live with the fear.

    I do not believe in tradition simply because it is old. It must stand up to the test. That test is God is Love. That is the only test, and it is mine. God does not test me – that would not be Love.

    Think about it. I have. Being all there is, what would an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent Being do with the test results? And Being all there is, there is nothing that It is not. Who would It be testing?

    A thought came to me while in deep contemplation that changed the course of my existence – just because someone or many someones say something is true, does not make it true. A story is just a story; it can be retold and retold and revised and remodeled until it looks nothing like the original, and the original loving intention has then been lost.

    It is a sad statement that most religions teach people to fear God. People ruled by fear become fearful. It is a natural progression. And what you fear you cannot Love, no matter how much you say that you do.

    That still silent part of me I have come to know is my Spirit. It is my Divine essence. What my Spirit had balked at accepting was Its imprisonment.

    My ego was strong and I resisted the call to freedom, but as I listened to my Spirit’s call, my ego acquiesced in the face of Love. I renew that communion in daily practice by Being silent and listening.

    This is what we are all called to do in this eternal moment of Now. We are called to look deeply into the face of Love and acquiesce . . .in quiet, perfect surrender. No more struggle, no more games . . .questioning everything . . .with the only answer worth accepting is to the question What would Love do?

    Our ongoing dialogue is necessary and needed in these tumultuous times. Fear and anxiety can cloud the face of our Creator as it shines out in perfection through the eyes of our sisters and brothers.

    You are not alone. Reach out to others . . .the God in you will provide the feelings that, once extended, will return to you what is your true essence. . LOVE. You are One with your Creator and with everyOne.

    Let’s talk about it, my friends . . .

    (Paula Tozer is a singer/songwriter and free-lance writer who lives with her husband, Mark, in Keswick Ridge, New Brunswick, Canada.  She is working on a book as well as recording an album of original songs.  Her song, My Bow, is currently playing on the Women of Substance internet radio station.)
    If you have a Guest Column that you would like to submit, send it to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com

    Not all material submitted is accepted for publication, but we appreciate each submission.

  • Witnessing child abuse in a movie theatre

    On Friday, Sept. 21, I decided to go see End of Watch because I had read great reviews and I don’t feel I can honestly discuss violent films if I never see any.

    It was a 2 p.m. show and very few people were in the theater. Right before the film started, I was stunned to see a young mother bring a very small boy into the theater. He could not have been more than four or five years old.

    The film is rated “R” and all of the advertising for the film makes it very clear that the film is exceedingly violent and profane. Nevertheless, here is this little boy in this giant theater with digital sound being forced to watch intense violence and profanity from the very first frame of the film.

    After about ten minutes, during which there were numerous violent acts and F-bombs every other word on screen, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Not the film. The situation with the child.

    There was no way I could sit in that theater and watch the violence on screen, knowing this little boy was being, in my opinion, emotionally and mentally abused by his either clueless or narcissistic mother.

    So I got up and went to where the mother was sitting. I told her that such a small child should not be subjected to that kind of violence and profanity and that she should get him out of the theater. She just looked at me with a blank stare and turned away.

    And I walked out.

    Standing in the lobby, I knew I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try to do something more. Anything.

    So I called the Child Protective Services hotline here in Portland on my cell phone.

    When I explained the situation, a very compassionate woman commiserated with me and said “Look, you’re right. No responsible parent would take a little child into a film like that, but, legally, there’s nothing we can do. I suggest you talk to the theater manager and let him know how upsetting this was to you. And thank you for caring enough to call.”

    I then sought out the theater manager, who was also very compassionate. He told me that he had a two-year-old son and could completely empathize with how I was feeling; however, he, too, was powerless to act unless the woman caused a disturbance.
    Of course, I understood. Legally, he was handcuffed, as was the lady at Child Protective Services. As was I. (Personally, I’m a huge fan of the Regal Cinema chain and their fantastic “Go Big or Go Home” campaign to encourage people to see films in theaters.)

    I exited the theater and noticed a news van right out front from KGW, Channel 8, the NBC affiliate here in Portland. I called my wife Lauren to relay what had happened and, without me even telling her about the news van, she immediately said I should call our friend Sally Ramirez, who is the Assistant News Director at that very station. So I called Sally and explained the situation. She then called her reporter in the van (which was there to cover first-day sales of the new i-Phone) and, within a few minutes, I was doing a news interview about what had happened.

    And, a few days later, KGW aired both that interview and an extensive news story on the subject matter.

    Going forward, here are my thoughts:

    I do not believe in censorship. I’ve produced “R” rated movies myself.  I just don’t think that little children should be forced by their parents to experience the kind of violence and/or profanity and/or explicit sexuality in “R” rated films.

    Just because we can do something (like take a child to a film like that) doesn’t mean that we should.

    I would love to see more people get involved, so parents don’t subject their little children to a kind of violence/profanity/sexuality that they have no way of being able to process in a healthy way. If you see this kind of thing, and you don’t feel comfortable talking to the parent, talk to the theater manager. Maybe even tell him/her that you don’t want to sit in an “R” rated film with little children. And maybe even ask for a refund. If enough of us do that, the theater chains will definitely pay attention.

    I would hope that theaters would instruct their ticket sellers to at least caution a parent who is about to buy a ticket for an “R” rated movie for a small child. “Hey, there’s a lot of violence and profanity in this film. Are you sure you want to take your child in?” Just that could prevent some parents from proceeding. In fact, I’m told that some theater managers do, indeed, instruct their ticket sellers to do just that—to which I say, “Way to go!”

    I would love to see the “R” rating mean that no one under 12 or 13 can be admitted to that movie, even with an adult.

    What now?

    What can or should we do in situations like that?

    Was I out of line for confronting the mother?

    Was it none of my business?

    Should I have just shut up?

    What, if anything, do you suggest we do about little kids and “R” rated films?

    Please let me know what you think, and if this commentary resonates with you, please put this link on your Facebook and Twitter pages, and distribute it to your friends and whomever else you think should see it so we can get a national dialogue started.

    Children are so vulnerable and impressionable. They need and deserve our help.

    (Stephen Simon produced such films as Somewhere in Time (Christopher Reeve), What Dreams May Come (Robin Williams) and All The Right Moves (Tom Cruise). He produced and directed both Indigo and Conversations with God and co-founded The Spiritual Cinema Circle. He is also the author of The Force is With You and Bringing Back The Old Hollywood. He blogs regularly at his website, at www.TheOldHollywood.com)

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