The Global Conversation

Category: Somebody Asked Me

  • Can a Struggling Artist Live a Financially Independent Life?

    My question has been a burden for me as well as for others around me who are in the same boat. So many of my friends dear to me are going through so much of  the same, and it appears so is much of the world. Dislocated is a great describer, for we are unable to be independent as in self-supporting through some economic means. Living with parents and relying on government assistance is growing tired. I have within the past year graduated from a University with a B.F.A. in painting and drawing, with a minor in art history. I know it is a degree that really cannot propel one into a great financial state, nevertheless it was what I truly desire and I create daily in my studio.  So now I am very frustrated applying for jobs without a response and am going to be fifty five years old.  I stay well, meditate, ask for my desires to be presented and enjoy my being. But I still see the struggle to be independent going unfulfilled. I apply much of what I have learned from CWG, but yet as friends and I feel so forsaken. ~ Thomas

    Dear Thomas,

    You’re right, this is a challenge a lot of people have, in different contexts; you are certainly not alone in this.  And none of them, including you, is forsaken.  It’s wonderful that you have such desire and passion around your art, and you sound very clear that that is what you wish to spend your time doing.  However, the “story” you are telling is one of lack and limitation.  Before I go any further, Thomas, I hope you receive my words with love and forgive my being so direct, it’s just that this is something that we all do at times, myself included, and it serves us all to be aware of it.

    The more you talk about, think about and tell others that your life in terms of career and earning money is a struggle, the more you will continue to experience that.  The more you focus on the lack, on how hard it is to “make it as an artist,” the more of that you will get.  Furthermore, as long as you choose to look at your degree as one that will “not propel you into a great financial state,” that is exactly what you will continue to experience.  You see, Thomas, life proceeds from our idea of it, or to quote one of my favorite lines from CWG, “All you see in your world is your idea about it.”  While you may not be able to completely control what shows up in your life, or your friends’ lives, you can most certainly control how you choose to perceive it and, therefore, experience it.  If I were you, Thomas,  (and by the way I was you but in a different context at one time in my life) here is where I would start:

    –          Change your idea about your life.  Decide right now that you can have all that you desire, that it is indeed possible.  Don’t worry about “the how,”  just decide that this is true.

    –          Take your focus off your perceived lack and limitation, and all of the frustration that comes with it, and instead focus on gratitude.  Focus on what you do have right now, what you love about your life just as it is, how thankful you are to have such a wonderful support system and that you are still able to create through art.  In fact, I encourage you to make this a daily habit – each day write down at least 10 things you are truly grateful for.  Make your last thoughts of the night before drifting off to sleep and your first thoughts upon waking ones of gratitude and appreciation for what is.

    –          Stop giving energy and attention to the story of “I can’t earn good money as an artist.”  Tell a new story, first to yourself and then to others.

    –          Instead of waiting to feel happy, secure, and abundant when you do get hired to do what you love to do, be all of that now.  This is a great gift we all possess but not many of us use consciously.  Yet it is entirely possible to create the emotion you think the “having” of something will provide for you, right here and right now.  Choose a desired state of being and commit to “being” that for an entire day.  For example, if you choose “abundant,” focus on thinking abundant thoughts, speaking abundant words, and taking abundant action.  Write the word “abundant” down on a piece of paper and carry it with you all day, or better yet, post it somewhere you can see it.  Create an abundance-inspired piece of art!

    You have the power to change your experience of life, Thomas, and no one can take that away from you.  Yet you must be willing to take responsibility for your life, be willing to see it another way, and trust that you deserve everything you’ve ever wanted.

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@TheGlobalConversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Can you make someone choose your reality?

    This is my first time asking this kind of question. I’m not too sure on how to compose it without sounding disrespectful or too naïve.  People can create their realities, right. Can someone choose his reality to continue a permanent partnership with someone that would not necessarily want to? If he wants to have that relationship to work, he has and will continue to put energy into it. The partner doesn’t see it that way.  She wants out of this relationship. His mind is surely going to explode. He cannot understand why!  He’s not an abusive person in any way. He’s a good provider, a good person.. He has a lot of feelings for his wife.  

    Sometimes he feels like a fool for letting her stay in the house until she finds a place to go live.  Of course, she doesn’t gave him much attention and told him she has filed for a divorce. What is going on here? They both are very spiritual and believe it’s their path to become better persons and show, teach, and spread the Love.  Enough of this rambling! I don’t know if any of this makes sense to you, but can you shed some *light* into this?  Thank you so much!

    PS: You’re right, I’m talking about my own marital situation.  P.E.       

    Dear P.E.,

    The answer is no…you can not create a reality that someone else is not willing to create with you.  Every soul has its own agenda, and every soul has free will.

    P.E., I get that you would have a desire for someone you love deeply to want to stay with you.  I get that deeply.  It is a natural thing.  I would, however, suggest that you are already creating the reality that your soul wishes to experience.  You have defined yourself as “a good provider, a good person, spiritual,” etc.  Can you see that you can Be these things in any relationship?  Can you see that you can Be these things in no relationship?

    Thinking that the current relationship with your wife is the only way you can demonstrate these things is expecting life to show up in only one way.  And God and Life provide more for you than just one way, or one love.  Ask yourself, What is this relationship giving me the opportunity to experience?  Why am I in this relationship?  In fact, what is the purpose of being in a relationship at all?  I believe it is to give the other back to themselves.  It is to give the other person every opportunity to be who they really are; and through doing that, I also get to be who I really am.

    I am not saying that you should give up.  What I am saying is that you should never force another, physically or energetically, to do anything.  The best you would receive is surrender.  What I am also saying is that if this relationship has a chance of moving in a different direction, it will be because you move in a different direction.  That direction, to me, would always (only?) include what your wife’s wishes may be. Is it impossible to believe that even apart can still be a spiritual way for both?

    Interestingly enough, when you move into this space, it opens up the door for more than one way for your wife to be in your life.  One of these ways could be supremely satisfying ways you least expect!

    This, of course, is just my general answer.  There are tools in the book When Everything Changes, Change Everything that can help you find your own answers, in your own way.

    Therese

    (Therese Wilson is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offering insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • What to do when you’ve done all you can do?!

    I’m trying to take my career to the next level by applying for work with some people who are quite famous. They say they love my work and will consider me when they have an opening. I feel like I’ve reached out to them as much as I should at this point, so how do I stay on their radar without making a nuisance of myself? …Edwin

    Dear Edwin… Don’t forget that celebrities are really just people, too, in a different place along their path. They don’t have anything you don’t have. Their awareness that they have it is the only difference. Don’t be in awe of them. Just love them for Who They Really Are and allow their perceived successes to be an inspiration to you. Express your gratitude to them for showing you what you are also capable of, and be a friend when given the opportunity to interact with them.

    For now, just send loving vibes. Let the energy do the work of reaching out. We always think we have to do it on the physical plane, but we don’t. It is equally effective to reach out energetically as long as we do so from a happy, excited-about-the-prospects-and-possibilities place. Surround them with love and light and envision your working together. See it as happening now. Pre-pave it at the energetic/thought level and love it into existence. This is how to consciously create everything. Simply love it into existence!

    Don’t try to force it into being. Never force it. That gives the opposite result because it is a resistant action, and what we resist persists.

    Love-Allow-Embrace-Expect-Experience-Enjoy!

    (Annie Sims is the Global Director of The Conversations With God School, is a CwG Life Coach and author/instructor of the CwG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com

    If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Stuck in Short-Lived Happiness

    It seems like every time I find myself feeling really good and happy about my life, it is short-lived.  One minute I’ll be happy and in no time at all something will happen to throw me into a tailspin and I don’t know which way is up! How can I stay happy for longer periods of time?

    ~ Melissa, Indiana

    Dear Melissa,

    First of all, I so know what you’re going through!  Truth is, we all do.  What you are experiencing is the Law of Opposites at work; that is, as soon as you make a declaration to the Universe (i.e. “I am happy.”), its exact opposite will show up in some way.  Admittedly, this experience can be frustrating, especially if you aren’t aware of what’s really going on.  But the existence of this law isn’t to punish or to deter us, it actually helps us create what we want in life.

    Allow me to explain.  The Law of Opposites is based on the principle: “In the absence of that which you are not, that which you are, is not.”  In other words, you cannot know yourself as happy unless you know of the experience of sadness.  If you were happy all the time, and were only surrounded by happiness, you would cease to even know what happiness really is.  But when its opposite shows up, and you experience that contrast, your experience of happiness becomes greater.  So you see, the Law of Opposites works in harmony with what you are trying to create more of.  The key is to recognize what’s happening and choose happiness again.

    So the next time you have this experience, in whatever context, try this:

    Step 1: The moment you notice the seemingly not-so-great stuff showing up in your world, take the time to stop and recognize what’s happening.  Choose to see it as the Law of Opposites doing its part to bring you what you have called forth.  If you dare to, choose to see the “bad” stuff as a sign that the process of creation is indeed working, and say “thank you.”

    Step 2: Make a new choice, or, rather, choose your original thought again.  For example, if your original declaration was “I am happy,” then choose it again, and focus on everything that is alignment with happiness.  Make the conscious choice to not give any more energy to the negative stuff that is appearing in your reality.

    Step 3: Pat yourself on the back for being the creator of your own experience.

    I’m not saying applying any of this is easy, unless it is, of course.  But I am saying with a little conscious thought, intention and awareness, you can have an entirely different experience than the one you mentioned in your question.  Good luck!

    Nova

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • I’m harming myself to help my adult child

    Therese,

    How do I stop sending support to my very adult son?  He has been in and out of trouble, financially and other ways, like drugs, all of his life.  Just when I think he’s got it all together something happens again.  The thing is, I can’t afford it, and to help him, I can’t pay own my bills.  He’s 16 in a grown man’s body!

    Paraphrased, this is the conversation I had with a friend recently.

    It is also a question that I have grappled with in the past, and still do.  I see how the world, economically, changed from the time I was young, and now.  It seemed to be a given then, that a young person could get an education, work hard, and have a reasonable expectation of meeting, or beating, their parents’ standard of living.  That is no longer the case.

    It was also the standard, in the western world I live in, that the young person leave the house somewhere between 18 and 21 years of age, and never come back, except in the event of some catastrophe.  That is no longer the case either.  This change, in my opinion, while forced by some fairly dramatic economic changes, has not been entirely a bad thing.  Having lived in Asia, where the model is to actively engage multiple generations in the raising of the children, and the sharing of the wisdom of each generation, CWG’s suggestion that this was the way, rang true with me.

    I was not about to move my entire family in with me, however!  So, how to work within the current economy, and not enable?  How to productively engage the multi-generation model?   I found my own way to have the East and West models meet.  We live in the same neighborhood!  My mother, my daughter and husband, and her sons and my husband and me.  Boundaries were set at the beginning, and have always been respected.

    I have two children, both of whom have seemed to require help.  One lives near, one lives far, so it isn’t nearness that is an issue.  But giving to them did begin to feel like a burden, and I started to give without joy.  So, in the past few years, I began to ask myself the questions I thought I should be asking about the situation of helping them.

    Questions like:

    What am I getting out of this situation?
    Is this help really helping in the long run?
    Am I imposing my vision of what their life must look like, and not honoring their vision?
    Is this help or control?
    What might their souls be wishing to experience…as well as my own?

    Hard questions to honestly answer.

    While I am truly giving to them out of love, if I am to be very honest, I am also giving out of fear.  Sometimes I fear that they will be angry with me.  Sometimes I fear what the consequences might look like if I don’t help them.   There are, of course, other fears.  There are other things, I realize, that I am getting out of this type of giving, that are not beneficial to all, and possibly not to anyone, in the long run scenario.

    I also realize I am imposing my vision of what their lives should look like.  I don’t want them to not be able to pay the bills, I don’t want them evicted from their homes, I do want them to have the things I had, and I do want them to always have full a full belly and feel secure.  But…is this what their soul is really wishing to experience?  As “The Only Thing That Matters” articulates quite well, the soul knows where it really wants to go, but it has absolutely no preference as to how we get there.  The long road or the short road makes no difference.  So, am I helping create the long road by removing the opportunities to take the short road?  Am I saying that the short road must not seem difficult for it to be the road that works best?  For that matter, am I removing my own opportunity to experience that more difficult path that is, none the less, the one I must ultimately traverse?

    Looking at my relationship with money was another thing I had to do.  Being an American, I’ll bet you can figure out at least some of where I had to go in that conversation with myself!  Not the least of which was asking myself exactly what my definition of abundance really is.

    Back to my friend, who specifically said that he is harming his own welfare in order to help his son.  CWG says that all benefits must be mutual.  Stated in another way, it says that to betray oneself, in order to not betray another, is still betrayal, and it is betrayal of the highest order.  And it is giving our children the wrong message.

    I was not willing to cold turkey remove the help, but I have cut back considerably, and help in very specific areas, like healthcare for the grandkids.  (Yes, healthcare, even with insurance, is expensive for way too many, but that is a different subject!)  It was difficult to change some of my behaviors, to be sure, though.  It hasn’t been all fun, but, guess what!  it has been quite beneficial for all of us.

    The oxymoron here, is that, we are told that life isn’t about us, yet it is all about us!  So, if life isn’t about you, and it is also all about you…where are you really?  How do we justify denying anyone anything, even if it is hurting ourselves?
    Neale answered that very clearly in a recent retreat I attended.  We forget that there really is just one of us in the room.  When I take care of me, I take care of you.

    My advice, then, to myself and to others, would be to ask the questions and be honest with our answers.  Then…be brave enough to take care of ourselves.  When we do that, we will also be taking care of our children well enough to allow them to do what seems to be failure, knowing we are allowing their opportunities to present themselves…and modeling how to find one’s own answers.  This may be very difficult to witness on occasion, but allowing the process to unfold, and not preempt it because it doesn’t feel good, will also empower us to know when help will be truly beneficial, to all, if offered.

    Therese

    (Therese Wilson is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offering insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Where does God stand on debt?

    I am 38 years old, employed in a fairly secure job, but the debt I have is starting to cause me to become anxious and afraid.  I have modified my spending, but I still can’t seem to get even, let alone ahead.  I don’t go out with my friends much, and the thought of dating someone, and what that will cost, is overwhelming. I never intended to get to a point where I considered defaulting on what I owe; however, it is now causing a great deal of stress in my life.  What would God say? What is the right thing to do in my situation?   – Tom in Tacoma, Wa.

    Hi, Tom… Your situation is all too common in these times.  Many of us have found ourselves facing a similar situation, some have thrown their hands in the air and defaulted, others have found ways to keep their necks above water, and others have used the situation to motivate themselves into higher wealth and abundance.

    Now, some of those in the latter category will take the experience of being overwhelmed with debt and decide they will not do that again; that is, they will be more conservative with their money moving forward.  Others in that group will think they are invincible and live even riskier lives; of those, some will achieve greater success and some will continue to experience feeling broke and broken.

    You see, Tom, I believe that God wants for us what we want for ourselves, nothing more, nothing less.  If we want peace, God wants peace.  If we want extravagance, God wants extravagance.  To Her, it makes no difference.  So I believe God would say to you the following: “Tom, what do you wish to experience?  What do you want to feel?  How may I help you to achieve that?”

    So if I may turn the question around on you, Tom, is it possible for you, in the moment, to see that everything is perfect, everything is the way it should be?  Can you believe that you are safe right where you are right now?  If so, where would you like to go from here?  Are you in the right job for you?  Is there something you love doing and feel a strong sense of purpose in?  Is there something that you feel you have a gift for, a gift that you are not using to your benefit or the world’s benefit right now?

    What I am trying to get at here is that God does not care what you are doing, what your financial situation is, or how you go about handling that situation.  What God does care about is that you do whatever you do consciously, knowingly, and lovingly.  So, Tom, make a decision (for to not decide is a decision in itself) on who you will be in relation to whatever it is that you do.  “Being” must always come first in the conscious person’s daily affairs.

    (Kevin McCormack is a “Conversations with God” Life Coach, a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net, and an addictions & recovery advisor.  To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com.) 

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     

  • How to reconcile CwG with my Christian friends?

    How can I lovingly respond to friends who tell me that the only way to access God is through Jesus Christ and that I will be condemned if I don’t accept him as my Lord and Savior? I love Conversations With God and still attend a Christian church, but I am beginning to feel alienated there. Please help!… Patt

    Dear Patt… My father, who believes as your Christian friends do, once told me he was worried about my Soul. I told him as earnestly as I could that God and I have a wonderful, loving, close personal relationship and he need worry no more! I think it helped ease his mind.

    Living in Nashville, the city some refer to as the Buckle of the Bible Belt, I sometimes find myself in conversations about my CwG work with fundamentalist Christians. When this happens, I make an effort to relate to them in terminology that they can understand. I look for common ground in these discussions because the foundational principles of Jesus’ teaching and Conversations With God are not so very different, although CwG offers us a much larger view of Life and how it works. Knowing that each of these discussions is an opportunity to gently introduce people to CwG and to help expand their spiritual awareness, I try my best to be impeccable with my word and as loving as possible.

    Since you are being proselytized to, Patt, you may want to suggest setting judgment aside and listening with an open mind when discussing each other’s beliefs. Then speak your truth, but soothe your words with peace and loving kindness. Don’t be surprised, though, if, as time goes on, you feel yourself being pulled more toward other people who share your beliefs. You may even find that a different church or spiritual center more deeply resonates with you, and please don’t feel guilty about it if this happens. You may make wonderful new friends who will support you on your life’s journey and in your spiritual growth.

    (Annie Sims is the Global Director of The Conversations With God School, is a CwG Life Coach and author/instructor of the CwG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     

  • Is life truly ‘perfect’?

    Is everything truly perfect? Can we trust life to puts us under oportunities that we desire when we dont trust ourselves? For example my dream is to become a spiritual teacher just like you, and with it a doctorate in psychology. Yet, Im not a High school graduate im strugling to get my GED im 23. And ive been procrastinating a whole lot. I feel tied up. Can I or should I trust life to give me the way? Joy Truth and Love to you. Thank you…Ovi

    Dear Ovi…Life will “give you the way” if you will TAKE the way. Life can’t give you what you will not take. If you are procrastinating (thank you, by the way, for telling the truth about that; that was very honest of you), then you are not taking what Life is giving you. Study for your GED, take the test, and pass it. In fact, decide you are going to pass it with flying colors; with the highest grade!

    Then, go on to become in life what you wish to become. You do not have to hold a doctorate in psychology to become a “spiritual teacher.” I do not have such a degree. In fact, I have no college degree at all. I graduated from High School, and that was as far as I got. I did not have the personal discipline or the patience to finish college. I wanted to get on with my life.

    I am not saying that you should not seek a degree in psychology, if that is what you want. I am simply saying, it is not required for you to become a spiritual teacher. In fact, you can become a spiritual teacher right now. In fact, you already ARE one. All people are. Every person is teaching every other person who meets them and encounters them. We are all teaching each other! And the most effective “teachers” among us are the ones who live what we choose to teach.

    What are the spiritual “lessons” that you wish to teach, Ovi? Decide that, then look to your daily life to see if, and how, you are a living, breathing example of those lessons. Make every day a teaching for others. Show others what you want them to learn, by showing them what you have learned…about God, about Life, and about your Self.

    Begin your ministry of teaching right now, Ovi. That is my invitation to you!

    (Neale Donald Walsch is the publisher of The Global Conversation internet newspaper and the author of the Conversations with God series of books. Questions in the ADVICE column are answered by a team of life coaches who write for this online publication. Address questions to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • Two questions to ask in every relationship

    I have a chance to take a good job offer in another city, but it means possibly having to end my relationship, because my lover and companion does not want to leave where we are now, for lots of reasons. His own good job is here, and also, his children. They are fully grown, but he does maintain a friendship relationship with them. I hate to lose this relationship, but I hate to lose this career opportunity, too. Any thoughts? Barbara M., Peoria, Illiinois

    Dear Barbara…CWG suggests that you ask yourself two questions regarding any relationship:
    1.Where am I going?
    2. Who’s going with me?

    In that order.

    “Where am I going?” implies that you must listen to yourself…to honor those “gut” feelings.  A simple way of doing this is to sit quietly for a moment.  Take a few deep breaths, then say, out loud:  “I am going to take the job.”

    Pay attention: what are the sensations in your body?

    Next, say, “I am going to stay where I am.”

    Pay attention:  what does your body say about this?

    This is important, because you should only decide things in relationships based on mutually decided goals…you should never dictate your life by what other people feel is “right” for you.  You must know, and stand in, your truth.  Which leads to the second question:

    Who’s going with me?  If your companion has the same goals for the relationship, he will follow–even if what he is following is your decision to stay. Or he may ask you to stay where you are, which is just as “fair” as you asking him if he will to go with you. Both actions are legitimate demonstrations that he has the same goals for the relationship as you do. So, it still means you must know where you are going, and why.  In other words, what part of your Divinity do you choose to express, staying or going?

    If, dear one, you would like to know more about what Conversations With God has to say about relationships, I would suggest you go to Book 1, Chapter 8. Just a snippet:

         You have no obligation in relationship, You have only opportunity.

         Opportunity, not obligation, is the cornerstone of religion, the basis of all spirituality. So long as you see it the other way around you will have missed the point.

         Relationship – your relationship to all things – was created as your perfect tool in the work of the soul. That is why relationships are sacred ground. It is why every personal relationship is holy. Never do anything in a relationship out of a sense of obligation. Do whatever you do out of a sense of the glorious opportunity your relationship affords you to decide, and to be, Who You Really Are….. long-term relationships do hold remarkable opportunities for mutual growth, mutual expression, and mutual fulfillment – and that has its own reward.

     Therese

    (Therese Wilson is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offering insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life.  She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     

  • Losing hope of ever finding peace

    I’m 53 and I’m losing hope of ever finding peace in my life. It seems it has been nothing but a string of challenges, defeats, and losses since I was 25. After more than a quarter century of this, I am done. I don’t understand why my life has been life this. What have I done wrong? I try to follow all of the “teachings” (affirmations, medication, visualization, etc.), but it seems to get me nowhere. I need help, and a reason to even bother trying. — LJ, Denver, Colorado

    Dear L.J….There is likely nothing I can say that will make all of these feelings go away over night, but I am going to suggest a starting point that worked for me…change your way of viewing the events of your life.  They are, as much as they may seem to the contrary, not defeats and losses!

    Might there be another you could view these “challenges”?  Perhaps as “opportunities”?  Perhaps as things to be grateful for?  I get, L.J., that the last thing one usually feels in the middle of the drama of life is grateful, but taking a moment to see if there is some way any situation could be looked at through the eyes of gratitude does a couple of things for me…it makes me stop, in the moment, and stop participating in the drama, and it gives me the opportunity (there’s that word!) to decide how I feel about what is going on.  Not what other people think about it, not what I am told I should think about it, but how I think about the event.  Usually I become a little more clear about who I wish to be from that point forward.

    There is no formula, L.J, no “teaching” that will be the magic bullet, until you trust what you already know…that you have done nothing wrong.  I believe, as CWG states, that there are no mistakes, darling one.  No right or wrong.  Only what works and what doesn’t work.  Knowing what hasn’t worked in our lives is the only way to know what does…the light and dark, yin/yang of things you know.  When you know better, you do better.  “Knowing better” isn’t a solo journey of the mind, it must be accompanied on the path with body and soul.

    So, I would ask you to look at your life through the lens of what did work.  You are obviously on a spiritual path or you would not be in this space today.  Is it possible that you would not be on this journey if you hadn’t experienced your life just as it unfolded?  Can you now consider that you might be able to change your mind about things going forward?  I hope so, because it has been my experience that when I see the joy in the past, and I am grateful for all that is my now…my future unfolds in astonishing ways!  Even in the middle of what others might see as horrible, I am calm, and, yes, happy with exactly where I am.  (Well, I can’t lie!  I am usually calm, etc.!  Believe me, I do still have my moments, but they are far fewer.)

    If, L.J., you would like to have more of a discussion about this, with more people than just me, see the information below.

    Therese

    (Therese Wilson is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offering insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life.  She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)