The Global Conversation

Category: Somebody Asked Me

  • How to keep a sense of Oneness with people we disagree with?

    CWG says we are all one and it feels true to me at an intellectual level, but I have a hard time feeling one with people I disagree with, especially politicians. Sometimes they make me so mad! How can I keep the feeling of Oneness with them in spite of what they do? Thanks for your help … Mia

    Dear Mia… Boy, do I know how you feel! There was a certain president here in the U.S. who spent eight years doing exactly the opposite of what I wanted. I spent tons of time trying to undo all the damage I thought he was doing because they were issues that were very important to me. I didn’t feel our Oneness because I was carrying a lot of anger and resentment towards him. Looking back on it now, I realize I would have handled it much better if I’d stayed in my God-space through it all. Knowing, as CWG says, that God is always Joyful, Loving, Accepting, Blessing and Grateful, here’s how that might have looked:

    1. I could have chosen to stay Joyful in spite of the things he did that I vehemently disagreed with.

    2. I could have chosen to feel Loving toward him, knowing that we are connected as part of the One.

    3. I could have chosen to be Accepting of his actions without condemning them by working toward a different goal without resistance.

    4. I could have chosen to Bless him, knowing he was doing what he thought was right and best, given his model of the world.

    5. I could have chosen to feel Grateful for the contrast that his actions provided me, giving me the opportunity to define and refine myself.

    So here is the challenge for both of us, Mia:  Can we disagree with someone’s actions, yet stay consciously connected to them in a loving way? I believe we can, but it takes an ongoing mindful intention to do so. As you see in my model above, it all comes down to choice. It’s up to us to be the peace we wish to see in the world.

    Masters don’t let anything shake them from their calm and sense of Unity because they trust that the Universe knows exactly what It is doing and It doesn’t make mistakes. They set an example for all of us to work toward that will benefit not only the little “us” but also the big “Us”. When we stay in our joy and peace regardless of outside events and others’ actions, we stay vibrationally in alignment with all the good our Source has to offer, uplifting all of us.

    Hope this helps, Mia!

    (Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Let’s Talk Money

    I am newly married and a few months in, and I’m loving the married life!  I haven’t noticed much has changed, really, except for one thing – my husband and I are definitely not on the same wavelength when it comes to money.  We recently moved into a new house and now have the whole mortgage and budgeting thing going on, and I now see that we operate entirely differently when it comes to money: I am a go with the flow, trust that things will work out type of person who definitely does not enjoy making sacrifices, and he is a follow the budge to a “t” kind of a guy.  This has caused some tension between us, and I’m not sure what to do about it because I don’t even like talking about money! I definitely don’t want this to be a bigger problem though, or drive us apart, so I need some advice.

    Kristi, Jacksonville

    Hi Kristi,

    Congrats on your marriage, and let me acknowledge you for bringing this issue to the light before it becomes a bigger problem.  You’re right, money can definitely be difficult to talk about for a lot of people, and it happens to be the number one thing that couples fight about, and incidentally, one of the top reasons for divorce.  Let’s avoid that, shall we?

    So, what most people don’t realize is that money is just energy, like everything else.  What we believe about it, how we think about it, speak of it, interact with it, etc., all contributes to our experience of it.  So the first place I’d like to direct you is to what your current idea of money is.  Do you believe money is bad, the root of all evil, limited, is earned in large quantities only by those who have either inherited it or work unGodly long hours and are miserable anyway?  Or do you believe that there is enough out there for everyone, that we are all deserving of large amounts of abundance of all kinds?  If you are unsure, a good place to look is what you heard a lot of growing up.  We were sponges as children and it was very easy to unconsciously inherit the beliefs about money that our parents had.  For example, if you saw your parents fighting and worrying about money all the time, you’re likely to grow up feeling stressful about money, not wanting to talk about it, avoiding the topic altogether or fighting about it with your spouse, not to mention having the experience of not having a lot of it.

    The good news is that a belief is just a thought you continue to think, and it is entirely possible to change that thought.  And that brings me to step 2: once you’ve acknowledged what your current beliefs/ideas about money are, decide whether or not they are serving you, and if you decide they aren’t, choose a new belief you’d like to have about money, one that does serve you.  Next, begin creating new habits that are in alignment with this new belief.  For example, say you’ve chosen to believe that money is wonderful and there’s enough to go around for everyone.  Some habits you may choose to adopt may be only saying good things about money and avoiding complaining about it, saying a prayer of thanks every time you pay a bill because you have the money to pay for such luxuries as heat and electricity or your cell phone, and you enjoy them all.  You could even start a dialogue with your husband about what his beliefs are about money, letting him know that although it’s been a difficult topic for you to talk about in the past, you’d like to be able to talk about it together and find a place in your finances that you both can feel good about.

    But I encourage you, Kristi, to start with yourself.  When you get into vibrational alignment with Who You Really Are in relation to any topic in life, it has a way of making everything come together without much effort on your part at all.  And everything I gave you above are great ways to come into alignment around money.  Look for what you appreciate about money, not what you dislike about it or feel helpless about.  Share what you do have with others lovingly and joyfully, now that’s a wonderful way to feel and experience your own abundance.  Look for what is currently working for you around money and share that with your husband, giving him the space to share what works for him around it.  Marriage is definitely about being willing to love and grow with each other not just through the good times, but through the challenging ones.  And this could be a wonderful opportunity for the two of you to grow closer and more intimate in ways you haven’t yet.

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Accept my gift of love.

     

    Dear Therese,

    Recently someone I know sent me a really nasty e-mail out of the blue.  I admit I don’t know this person well, but it still came as quite a shock and surprised me at how much I am upset by this.  Should I write back?  If I do, what should I say?

    Surprised

    Dear Surprised,

    I don’t think it is going to come as any surprise that I am going to ask you to look at yourself in this situation.  Not because I think you have done anything to cause this particular situation, mind you, but to simply ask yourself what in this situation is your moment of growth.  Is this type of thing a usual trigger?  Does someone being upset with you usually cause you to be unusually effected?  Why do you worry so because this person was “mean” to you?  I am sure you can come up with others to ask yourself!

    I ask these questions because what you are experiencing is actually quite normal.  What isn’t normal these days is to stop and understand that it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, it matters how you accept what they say, and how you choose to feel and be in the aftermath of the words.  The children’s nursery rhyme had it right…sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me!

    I heard a little story (paraphrasing here, of course) that tells of the Buddha teaching the wife of a wealthy man.  Her husband noticed that his wife had changed, and he did not like the change, so he found the Buddha and approached him in anger.  The Buddha simply held up his hand and said, “I do not accept your gift of anger.  Accept, instead, my gift of love.”  And walked away, leaving the man standing silent, not knowing what to say.

     

    “Start telling the truth now and never stop. Begin by telling the truth to yourself about yourself. Then tell the truth to yourself about someone else. Then tell the truth about yourself to another. Then tell the truth about another to that other. Finally, tell the truth to everyone about everything. These are the 5 levels of truth telling. This is the five-fold path to freedom.” ~Neale Donald Walsch

     

    Surprised, what would happen if you gave a response that told her, even though gently, how you felt when she used those hurtful words?  Not what you thought about them, but how you felt.  Would that harm, or example how to appropriately communicate?   I would suggest you respond with your gift of love.

    I don’t know if you will see an instant change in the situation, although you may, but I do know that responding to her from the space of anger will not change anything.  Share the truth about your feelings, expecting nothing but the ability to share as your reward for doing so.  Plant the seed of example.  Then let the universe handle how and when it will grow.

    Therese

    (Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     

     

  • I’m lonely and I attract the wrong men

    I am 40 years old and I feel lonely. I live alone in a small apartment, but I have a problematic family. A couple of months ago I met someone who said he wanted a serious relationship but after we had sex one time, he changed his mind. He said we are too different and I make him very angry. I pursued him anyway and it caused a lot of trouble. What can I change in myself not to attract men who leave me so easily and cheaply? My father beat me until I was 17 years old and both of my parents are still unkind to me. Basically the problem starts in the family where I’m born, I think. I would like to be at peace with my ex-boyfriend and everyone, starting with me. Can you give me a couple of ideas that might help?… Vicki

    Dear Vicki…  Thank you for reaching out and for being so open about what’s going on with you. I have some gentle advice that can turn your life around rather quickly. If you can take these two simple ideas to heart and really implement them, in six months time you can find yourself in a much happier place than you are now.

    1. Drop your story. Everything that happened with your family as a child, and everything that is happening now with them, and with your ex-boyfriend, is just that: It’s just what’s happening! There is no reason for it to define you now or for it to derail your happiness. Every day—in fact, every moment—is a new opportunity to create your life anew in the next grandest version of the greatest vision you ever held about yourself, and the time you spend in your mind, fretting about past events, is time you could be spending in the joy of the present moment. We deprive ourselves of happiness by dwelling in the past.

    2. Realize your life is not about you. It is about everyone whose life you touch. This is one of the very first messages Neale received in his conversation with God. In dealing with others, don’t approach them with the idea of, “What’s in it for me?” Don’t seek to receive a gift from someone. Rather, ask instead, “What gift can I bring to this person?” The moment you make this seemingly small change in your life, everything changes, because, Victoria, as you become the source of joy for others, you automatically receive it. This is how Life works because there is really only One of us! We are all part of the same God-energy that creates worlds. We have the same power to create that It does, and like God, we are unlimited, eternal and free. Free to think, free to choose, and free to be all that we can be. And that, dear Victoria, is what our Souls call us to do: to evolve by becoming aware of what’s really going on here. And when we put our awareness on how we can help others, we automatically help ourselves.

    I invite you to read Neale’s book, Happier Than God. It’s chock-full of great ideas to help all of us find true joy, peace and fulfillment in our lives, and they really work.

    And last but not least, I leave you with this poem by George Eliot. I sincerely hope these ideas help you, dear Victoria.

    Count That Day Lost

    by George Eliot

    If you sit down at set of sun
    And count the acts that you have done,
    And, counting, find
    One self-denying deed, one word
    That eased the heart of him who heard,
    One glance most kind
    That fell like sunshine where it went —
    Then you may count that day well spent.

    But if, through all the livelong day,
    You’ve cheered no heart, by yea or nay —
    If, through it all
    You’ve nothing done that you can trace
    That brought the sunshine to one face —
    No act most small
    That helped some soul and nothing cost —
    Then count that day as worse than lost.

    (Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Walk on Uneven ground

    Today I am going to share “advice” I realized I had to give to myself.

    I recently had minor knee surgery.  Minor in and of itself, but the third time on this particular knee, and placing my sweet knee dangerously close to bone on bone.  My doctor has cautioned that I must remember that my knee is no longer normal.  My physical therapist also advised me to not always walk on the level ground of sidewalks, but to walk on the grass to strengthen the muscles all around the knee better.

    So…yesterday I walked around the little lake in our neighborhood.  On the area with the most dramatic slope.  With the weak knee on the upside of the slope, making it do the power work.  And today…I can barely walk!  If I move, it feels better, but when I sit for awhile it gets weak again.  Sheesh.

    I was so proud of myself for how good I was at getting to the point where it didn’t hurt so soon after surgery!  But now I realize I was just doing enough…enough to get by, but not enough to challenge and really strengthen the knee.

    Then, as I am wont to do, I began to ask myself some questions.  Is my body, which is the connection between my soul and my mind, asking me to look at something?  Way too quickly came my answer…of course, silly!  Is it possible you’ve been taking the easy, level path spiritually?  Ummm…I don’t wish to answer that, thank you very much!  Have you been letting your fears settle into your body again?   Are you moving too fast, or too slow, or even both?  OUCH! literally ouch!  Could be!  Is it time to take the uneven path, and change your mind about some things?  Dang it!  Stop asking me questions!  And, just for the record, self, the answer is…yes!

    Dearest Therese, yes, your body is speaking to you, especially if you think it is speaking to you.  Be kind to yourself, don’t judge and compare yourself…not even to yourself.  Where you are, is where you must be to see where you are going.  Give the understanding you give to others, to yourself…you will then be able to share that understanding more wonderfully.

    Therese, walk the uneven ground, even though it be fearful and confusing, and brings things into your life you do not understand right now.  The uneven ground will strengthen your body…and it will strengthen your spirit.  CWG, in “The Only Thing That Matters” says that each time you think you are “there”, you will be given the opportunity to move into an even higher expression of “there”.  Don’t make the mistake of thinking this means you are moving backward.  It just means, if you are lucky, if you are open and brave, you will always be new at something all of your life!

    Therese

    (Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Changing our thought processes about events

    I’d like some help clarifying a “revelation” that I recently experienced. Up until a few days ago I would have said I didn’t have much of a possibility to repair ancient wounds in my life, or to repair a friendship that’s dear to me. But something turned me around: the realization that the past cannot be changed and that by dwelling on it one way or the other I was cheating myself of the presents that lay the Here and Now. I also realized I could be patient in the long process of rekindling this friendship, all the while staying confident, peaceful. And this is new to me, because I had a tendency to let my emotions define me. What do you think about this? Thanks in advance for your insight. … Lisa

    Dear Lisa… So what happened to turn you around was that you simply changed your thought processes about what had happened, right? Just goes to show that we create our reality at an inner level. To change our reality about anything, all we need to do is change our thinking about it—to look at what happened from a different perspective.

    Have you read Neale’s book, When Everything Changes, Change Everything? The Line of Causality/Mechanics of the Mind lays out the lightning-fast thought process we have in our Minds regarding any event, and shows how we move from the event itself to our reality about it. Each of these steps leads to the other:

    Event – Data – Truth – Thought – Emotion – Experience – Reality

    I’ll try to explain briefly here:

    1. An Event happens.

    2. We immediately search our brains’ Data for past experience of something similar to that Event, so that we may contextualize it somehow.

    3. We have a prior Truth about that Data, which we often project onto the new Event (justifiably or not).

    4. That Truth causes a Thought to arise about the Event. This may be a true Thought or not.

    5. That Thought causes an Emotion inside us.

    6. The Emotion, as you so aptly said, “defines” us and creates our Experience.

    7. Our Experience becomes our Reality.

    This happens so fast we don’t even know it!

    In your case, I think you realized a few days ago that your prior Thought that there wasn’t much of a possibility to repair the wounds or friendship, isn’t true. So now, your process beyond Step 4 is different. Your new Thought that there is a possibility for a happier ending brings forth a new, better-feeling Emotion, which leads to a new Experience of life for you, resulting in a new Reality. Woohoo! Good for you!

    Does this make sense? It’s, of course, explained in great detail and depth in Neale’s book, including how we may incorporate the System of the Soul here, but the main point is this:

    “Change our Thought, Change our Reality.” Or as the common New Thought expression goes:

    “Change your thinking, change your life!”

    (Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • What to Do When Anger Becomes Your Trigger Response

    What do you do with the stuff that easily triggers anger?  I’m an easy going, peaceful and loving person, but I have my moments where I lose it, like when my kids throw tantrums or are exceptionally whiny, or someone treats me with disrespect.  I get that we are all human and anger is a natural emotion, but in these situations it just feels awful and I always regret it.  How do we show up as who we really are in those moments?  I sometimes feel like a terrible person!

    Martha, San Francisco

     

    Hi Martha,

    Great question, and I think we can all relate to it. I’m glad you used the example of “losing it” with your kids, because those blessed little creatures sure know how to push our buttons and make us feel the furthest thing from spiritually evolved (coming from a mother of a “lively” 3 year old).  I’m going to use this example as I explain why we have some strong emotional responses that don’t feel so great sometimes as well as how to shift them.

    Conversations with God discusses the concept of “giving meaning to things”, saying that nothing in this world has any meaning save the meaning we give it.  So a thing is not “good” or “bad” by itself, it is simply a thing that is occurring and those who are observing this occurrence are the ones who assign the meaning of it being either a bad thing or a good thing.  Now let’s apply this concept to the thing we call “kids throwing tantrums”, something I happen to be very familiar with, and I’ll speak from my point of view since I can’t reach into your mind to access yours.

    The meaning I have assigned in the past to my child throwing a whopper of a tantrum (and total transparency here, please don’t judge!), looks something like this, “She is being so irrational right now for no reason, she is not listening to me which is disrespectful and undermines my parenting.  And this is awful to experience!”  The meaning I assigned that occurrence was making me feel bad, and triggering an emotional response of anger and irritation, which used to cause me either to raise my voice, get frustrated, things that certainly didn’t help the situation.  Presently, I am happy to report that I’ve assigned this occurrence a new meaning, which looks something like this, “Wow, my little baby is having a difficult time right now, she’s clearly overwhelmed by something and doesn’t know how to manage her emotions yet.  Poor thing!”  This new meaning triggers my emotional response of compassion, which now causes me to practice patience, tolerance, and even scoop the little tyrant up and hug her until she calms down.  Voila, my experience of this occurrence is now vastly different and much, much better for all involved, simply because I changed the way I was looking at it.

    So I encourage you, Martha, to take a deep look at those common situations that occur in your life that trigger your anger.  Ask yourself what meaning you are currently giving each of them, and then consciously assign them a new meaning that feels better to you.  And then, of course, practice implementing them.  You’re not a terrible person, you’re an amazing person for noticing something that you’re not in alignment with and wanting to change it.

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Everything is good…so why do I have no motivation?

    Hi, I take your offer and have a question for you: 

    Since I work hard on me to except everything in my life and I am way more relaxed with whatever life throws at me… the downside is that I don’t have much motivation to achieve things, cause things doesn’t annoy me anymore so there is not much need to do something about it.  But I work way under my qualification (I am a social worker and work as a support worker), and I know that I have the skills to do much more, to change things, to make a real difference, but I simply can’t be bothered. That would be okay if I would be happy like this, but I am not and want to live my whole potential.  I am stuck in between… have no drive to change things since that is the only thing bothering me…. 

    Does this make sense? 

    many thanks, 

    Verena

    Yes, Verena, it makes perfect sense.  I think the confusion comes in thinking that because you believe life is happening perfectly, you no longer have a reason, or right, to try and change what is happening in your life.  I believe that just the opposite is true.  Accepting all that is happening does not mean that change can’t or shouldn’t happen.  It means that you are no longer giving your energy to the past, and can now give that energy to what is in front of you, that you might be able to change.

    You see, once you know everything is perfect, the natural thing is to wish that understanding for everyone.  When you see those who are doing harm to themselves, or to you, you should do what you can to move them into an understanding that this is not working for them.  Being a social worker puts you right in the middle of doing just that!  You can be relaxed and motivated to help at the same time.

    Perhaps you are not letting the proper thing motivate you, Verena.  Is money your motivator?  Or acclaim for what you do?  Or is helping others your motivator?  As a social worker, I think you just might understand that this life is, ultimately, not about you.  Yes, you must take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, and doing that is not being selfish.  If you are spiritually healthy, then you are in a better position to give of yourself fully.  And when you give of yourself fully, you can give others back to themselves more fully.

    The Christian Bible says to be in this world, but not of this world.  To me, this does not say to distance yourself from living.  To me,it means to look at how you are living from a spiritual perspective…and doing that gives you calmness and motivation.  It means to see things as they are, love them and move forward from that love to raise all that you touch to a different level.

    Make sure, also, Verena, that you are not using your understanding of spirituality as an excuse to not be motivated.  Spirituality does not mean withdrawing from life, it means fully engaging from a very different level of life!  It means living to your fullest potential because it gives you joy to simply Be who you really are, and demonstrate who that is.  If you are doing this, then you may actually find you have money and accolades, but they will be secondary things.

    Lena, you get to decide what you wish to Be in this life.  Just the fact that you have written this question tells me that you are questioning what you think you believe about spirituality.  Continue questioning…and then decide what makes you feel…just feel.  Feel good, feel passionate, joyful…engaged.

    If you would like a continuing dialog on this topic, we have Life Coaches on the site who answer questions. (Nova Wightman, Annie Sims, J.R. Westen, and Kevin McCormack), or you could go over to The Changing Change Network, and talk about it with Spiritual Helpers and wonderful peer members.

    Therese

    (Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • How to reconcile having more with helping those in poverty?

    How do I reconcile my desire to do and have more in my life with my desire to help those who struggle just to survive? I know there is unlimited abundance in the world because God is unlimited, yet for every dollar I spend on something I want just for fun, that dollar could go to someone who desperately needs it for basic necessities. I give to people on the street and to charity, and I want to do more… but I also want to live a fabulous, fun, free life, without feeling guilty about it. Please help!… Elizabeth

    Dear Elizabeth… Please know that your question is one that I also ask myself as I continually work to choose the highest and best way to express Who I Am. It’s an age-old question, really, how to come to terms with this gap between the “haves” and the “have nots”.

    Dr. Wayne Dyer said something very interesting once: he said he believes that if we could take all the money in the world, put it in an airplane, then distribute it evenly around the world, in a very short time it would end up right back where it started. What he was saying was, we can only embody that which we have in our consciousness, so the money would end up back in the hands of those who had it in the first place. If I have a wealth consciousness, I will continue to attract wealth. If I have a poverty consciousness, I will continue to attract poverty… unless I decide to dig deep and root out the Sponsoring Thoughts that cause it. Some people feel they are not worthy of being wealthy. Others feel that there is something inherently wrong with being wealthy. Society itself gives us many mixed signals about this, so it’s no wonder people harbor guilty feelings around having a lot of money.

    However, as you said, God is unlimited and there is unlimited abundance in the world. I whole-heartedly believe this is true. I also believe that God is Omni-present and in every single person, rich or poor. So to me that means every person has the same unlimited potential for abundance that God has… but only to the degree that they know it.

    Another thing Dr. Dyer said that I never forgot: we can’t feel bad enough to make someone else feel better. This is in no way meant to be a callous remark. Rather, he is rightly saying that we do much more good for others when we are in a positive frame of mind than when we are in a negative one. When we are in alignment with God and feeling great, that’s when we are open to receiving inspiration to really make a difference in the world.

    At the end of the day, it is up to each of us to discern how we choose to be in relation to everyone… and everything, including money. The opposites of wealth and poverty here in the Realm of the Physical are here to offer us yet one more way to decide and to declare, to express and to experience Who We Are.

    (Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Beating the Winter Blues

    My question deals with something that may sound trivial to others but is a serious challenge for me.  I’m wondering what the spiritual approach to dealing with the harshness of winter would be?  Although I have never officially been diagnosed with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), I’d lay money down that I have it.  I am happy, content and thriving throughout most of the year until these harsh winter months hit, especially after the holidays.  All I seem to want to do is stay home, sleep, and disengage from life.  It truly is a struggle, until spring comes and I’m back to my old self.  I’m no longer okay with feeling awful for 3 months of the year for no good reason.  There’s got to be another way, right?

    ~ Mark, North Dakota

     

    Hi Mark,

    There is always another way, because we are creative beings and have the ability to decide how we want to experience any given thing in life.  And when co-created events show up that are seemingly out of our control – like harsh, cold, long winters (I’m from MN so I can soooooo relate to this) – we get the opportunity to decide how we are going to experience them as well as who we are in relationship to it.

    So now, Mark, it is your turn to decide who you are in relationship to this thing called “the harshness of winter”, and create your experience of it.  Don’t worry, I’m not just going to leave you with that, I’m going to help you out with “the how” part as well.

    The very first step is to manage all of these thoughts and emotions you have because it’s winter, and the very best way I know of to do this is to engage in a daily practice, one that includes meditation (of any kind, whatever works for you) and gratitude (writing down at least 10 things each day that you are truly grateful for).  Those two practices alone go such a long way in quieting the mind chatter and lowering external influences, because it shifts your focus on what is good and gets you centered and connected – always a great starting point when approaching anything in life.  Plus, they raise your vibration and put you in a place of desire (creative) vs. a place of lack (resistant) for the next step, which is…

    Decide and express who you are in relationship to winter harshness and how you’d like to experience it.  Let go of any beliefs about how you’ve experienced it in the past, or how you think it has to be, put your focus on the way you’d like it to be for you, and then express that.  For example, if you decide that you’re actually okay with hibernating for winter, then get some good books and/or movies, buy one of those “snuggie” blankets to curl up in, light a candle or start a fire in the fireplace, and enjoy the comforts of home.  Quit making yourself wrong for it.  On the other hand, if you decide you’d like to still be able to get out and about and be active during the winter, then make it a point to schedule some social dates with friends, sign up for a class, or plan a winter weekend getaway.  Engage in winter activities like sledding, skating, or building a snowman, enlist a friend to join you and use each other as accountability partners.  Make it a point to connect.

    I used to despise the months of January and February here in Minnesota, they were so cold and so long and I never wanted to do anything.  My experience nowadays is vastly different.  I decided that I am naturally one who does slow down in the winter and hibernate a bit,  I spend a lot of time in my cozy house (and yes I have a snuggie blanket) with my family and watch a lot of movies.  And I love it.  You see, I no longer make myself wrong for wanting to do those things, I embrace it.  Incidentally I also decided that I wanted to be someone who enjoys winter, and while the latter is part of what I now enjoy about it, I also make it a point to schedule outings with my family and friends, and play in the snow with my 3 year old (something I previously also despised).  And what makes this a sustainable choice and expression of who I am vs. a fleeting one?  Those daily practices I spoke of as step one.

    Although you may never have a direct say in the weather conditions of winter, Mark, you most certainly have a direct say in how you experience it from now on.  And I don’t tell you this in theory, I tell you this from my direct experience.  I even look forward to winter now, something my former self of a few years ago would have laughed in your face if she heard you say it.

    P.S. I’ve also heard those sun lamps are great for those dealing with SAD, you may want to consider getting one, or making a commitment to spend time outside every day it happens to be sunny.

    Nova

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

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