Tag: relationships

  • Having “nothing” and “everything”
    at the same time

    Financial uncertainty can create some real challenges in relationships.  Unpaid bills stacking up on the kitchen counter, an almost-empty gas tank in your automobile, looming medical expenses, kids in college, rising insurance premiums, maxed-out credit cards, all paralleled with shrinking paychecks or maybe even the threat of losing a job are situations that many, many couples are up against and struggling with.  These issues, demanding center-stage attention for couples finding themselves at the end of their financial ropes, are often significant contributing factors leading to the demise of even the most loving relationships.

    Modern conveniences, tantalizing advertising campaigns, and overly commercialized holidays cater to and feed our fragile ego’s desire to have more, do more, have it faster, do it faster.  Attempts to keep up with the seductive and frenzied pace of “more, more, more” draw us further away from the essence of our own innate abundance, misleading us into believing that the true measurement of “wealth” in our relationships, or lack thereof, is directly correlated to the way in which we measure financial wealth.

    Contrary to what we are being asked to embrace by society, could a shoestring budget and a dwindling bank account be just the thing that reconnects us with an experience of inner wealth, unconditional love, and deeply fulfilling partnerships?  Could the experience of having nothing remind us that we already have everything?

    A partnership is much more than the physical cohabitation of two individuals.  It is more than the wedding and the house and the kids and the careers, and is most certainly more than the unpaid bills.  A partnership is a Union of Souls on a Spiritual Journey.  Refocusing our attention on the larger purpose of our relationships and the ultimate outcome for All of Life helps us to measure how tightly we hold the day-to-day happenings in our life and how meaningful they are to us.

    When waves of panic, worry, and obsession dominate our thoughts, we lose sight of the experience for which our Souls yearn.  Sure, we still experience something.  We are in a constant state of experiencing ourselves in relation to every encounter in life.  But when the question becomes “Why is this experience creating conflict and tension, rather than joy and happiness, in my relationship?” we may want to ask the next important question:  “How can I CHANGE that?”

    Everything we experience in life — the perceived lows, the perceived highs, what we label “good,” what we label “bad,” those events that appear to propel us forward, and those events that appear to hold us back — are simply touchstones for us to choose in relation to.  Each experience weighs in somewhere on the “scale of life,” teetering in one direction or another, depending upon what we choose.   Perhaps today we will choose a long walk in nature, holding hands with our Loved One, engaging in heartfelt conversation.  Perhaps tonight, instead of eating at a restaurant, we will prepare a wonderful homemade meal together.  Perhaps this evening we will dance underneath the moonlight to our favorite soulful music.  Perhaps we will gift each other with a sensual massage and surrender to a lingering night of making love.  Perhaps in the evenings, after a long day at work, we will greet our Beloved at the door with a warm and loving embrace and each morning awaken them with a tender kiss.

    If we choose to experience this level of Soul connection, in spite of the unpaid bills stacking up on the kitchen counter, an almost-empty gas tank in the automobile, looming medical expenses, kids in college, rising insurance premiums, maxed-out credit cards, all paralleled with shrinking paychecks or maybe even the threat of losing a job, then we will have truly experienced what it means to be rich beyond our wildest dreams.

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

     

  • I will NOT be voting…

    …for a candidate whose platform does not emulate my highest thoughts, core beliefs, and creative visions for our world.

    I WILL be voting for someone who will champion the type of change that benefits not just a select few, but ALL of humanity.  The inclination I feel towards one candidate or another has less to do with issues of money and more to do with freedom, choice, and compassion.

    I WILL be voting for the candidate who will tirelessly fight on the side of same-sex couples who desire the same benefits and recognition afforded to heterosexual partners in marriage, someone who will pave the way for gay couples to be afforded an equal opportunity to freely demonstrate their love and commitment both legally and socially.

    I WILL be voting for a candidate who understands and supports freedom of choice and promotes women’s health, empowering women to make their own decisions regarding whether or not to have sex, whether or not to use contraception, and whether or not to deliver a child into the world.

    I WILL be voting for the candidate that holds the beauty and life-sustaining bounty of our world in the highest regard, enacting laws that protect and nurture our planet earth, creating revitalization in areas that have been depleted or abused, and steadfastly guarding our most precious resources.

    I WILL be voting for the candidate who recognizes the importance of affordable and sufficient healthcare, someone who develops and offers programs which enable those whose lives are less than easy to receive medical care and compassion, regardless of age or socioeconomic status.

    Will it make a difference when I throw my spiritual hat in the political arena and cast my vote?

    I believe YES.

    I believe that every problem has a spiritual solution.  And I further believe that not only do we all have the ability to recreate ourselves anew within the context of our personal relationships, the ones we hold as intimate and most cherished, but we also have the ability to recreate our world anew through the collaboration of our collective thoughts and an elevation of global consciousness.

    We are all in relationship with each other.  We are not separate.  What you think does matter.  Your vote does count.  And what you choose will make a difference.

    YOU are the author of the New Cultural Story…What will you write?

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • What would love do now?
    Wear a pink tutu in Times Square, of course!

    51-year-old Bob Carey, standing 5-foot-10-inches tall, and weighing more than 200 pounds, is appearing around the country in only a pink tutu and creating a 61-page book of his self-portraits in an effort to support his Beloved Other, Linda, who has advanced breast cancer.

    His extraordinary journey has taken him to the Grand Canyon, Coney Island, Times Square, The Washington Monument, a cow pasture in the midwest, and Giants Stadium, just to highlight a few.  You can view some of the images from his self-published book here:  Tutu Breast Cancer Project.

    Linda Lancaster-Carey, 51, who was diagnosed with cancer in 2003, says, “He’s not afraid to put himself out there. It’s his own body, with all its imperfections.”  The Careys say laughter has always been at the heart of their relationship and that the photography allowed Bob Carey to focus on something other than his own fear and anger surrounding his wife’s illness and the loss of his father to lung cancer and his mother to breast cancer.

    The Careys’ story demonstrates the level of unconditional love that so many people desperately yearn for but fall short of time and time again in their relationships, a level of love and commitment that perhaps may have not have been as fully experienced but for Linda’s illness.

    I imagine there was an earlier time in Bob Carey’s life where he would not have even considered donning only a pink tutu in the middle of Times Square, much less actually do it.  Even now, some members of the media have been less than kind, colorfully pointing out the flaws in Carey’s physique, to which he replies, “The photos are about transforming into somebody I’m not. It’s about being vulnerable.” Carey is also feeling pushback from critics who question his actions, women who are put off by the pink tutu and those who have grown tired of the “pinkification” of October, which has been designated as Breast Cancer Awareness month.

    In the midst of darkness and pain and uncertainty, Bob Carey answered the question, “What would love do now?”   He pushed past the illusions of fear, embraced his vulnerability, and stepped into his next grandest version of himself, gifting to his wife and all those whose lives he touches the remembrance of his own sufficiency and divinity.  His act of self-definition now spans the country, if not the world, so others, too, can remember more fully who they are:  as sufficient and divine.

    Conversations with God, Book 1, reminds us:

    “What you do for your Self, you do for another.

    What you do for another, you do for the Self.

    And this is because you and the other are one.

    And this is because…

    There is naught but You.”

    Perhaps the Careys’ story will serve to inspire us all today to do something extraordinary, something silly and unexpected, an expression of pure givingness to our partner, and thus to ourselves — or to ourselves, and thus to all of humanity — as a demonstration of our Highest Self and our deepest affection and in remembrance of who we really are.

    Yes?

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support .   To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

     

  • If only you were ‘this,’ then I could be ‘that’

    By the time Jenny Lee was 28 years old, she’d already had 26 plastic surgeries:

    Breast implants (twice)
    Cheek implants
    Chin implant
    Lip implants (3 times)
    Nose jobs (3 times)
    Breast lift (3 times)
    Liposuction on her arms, hips, thighs, stomach & knees
    A full body lift
    Botox injections
    Veneers

    Why?

    Her answer to this one-word question is simply, “Because my husband told me that my breasts were too small and my nose was too big.”

    In an effort to achieve her perception of perfection – (including a belief that these choices would somehow become the source of her partner’s happiness) – Jenny Lee attempted to literally recreate her body, thus hoping to recreate her reality, through a painful journey of surgery after surgery after surgery.

    The cruel twist in this story is that after Jenny had the breast enlargements and the plethora of other procedures, instead of finally receiving what she desired most, her husband’s love and affection, she was met with a new unwelcome response from him:  resentment and jealousy… because now, ironically, she was receiving too much attention from others.

    Reading this story about Jenny caused me to reflect upon why women – or anyone, for that matter – began perceiving themselves as less than whole and adopted belief systems which embraced the notion that certain conditions create happiness, not only within ourselves, but within others:  “If I have thinner thighs or less wrinkles, I will be worthy of love”…”If he was taller and had more hair, he would be perfect”….”If she would look this way, I would feel that way.”

    We cram our feet into uncomfortable shoes.

    We stuff our legs into binding pantyhose and hip-slimming Spanx.

    We pluck our eyebrows and color our hair and bleach our teeth.

    We only feel pretty when we have make-up on…and we have become experts at “Photoshopping” out our perceived flaws.

    Why are we doing this?

    What is it that we are imagining ourselves to need?  Or be lacking?  Or simply not remembering?

    “Communion with God” says “need” is not only the first illusion, but the grandest illusion, the illusion upon which ALL other illusions are based.  The illusion of need manifests in all areas of our lives, but it becomes particularly painful when it permeates the most sacred space of intimacy within a partnership of souls.  Some people feel unworthy to stand before their beloved other unclothed.  Some people withhold from their lover the most sensual physical experience of love.  Some people go so far as to undergo 26-plus cosmetic surgeries to “fix” what they think is “broke.”

    What can we do to change this?

    As our society continues to shift and inch closer to the understandings and concepts held with the New Spirituality, will we remember that it is through the transformation of our thoughts about Who We Really Are, rather than our ideas about who we think we should be, that we will be presented the grandest opportunity to experience ourselves as whole and perfect….and as God?

    Or is it perhaps that an alteration of our physicality is just another path to a spiritual transformation?

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support .   To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)