The Global Conversation

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  • Being afraid…and doing it anyway

    How many of us are holding back in our relationships?  Who among us is restricting their growth potential or avoiding a change in their career?  Let’s see a show of hands from those of us who in some way, shape, or form are limiting ourselves in some aspect of our lives because we are afraid.  Yes, I have to admit that my hand has slowly crept up, too.

    Afraid of rejection?

    Afraid of being hurt?

    Afraid of being hurt again?

    Afraid of being hurt even again?

    Afraid of not being good enough or pretty enough or smart enough or sexy enough?

    There seems to me to be a curious double standard when it comes to fear.  Human beings have clearly demonstrated time and time again that we actually are not afraid of fear.  In so many ways, we are fear-seekers.  Just ask the rollercoaster-riders, the bungee-jumpers, the race car drivers, the tight-rope walkers, the lion-tamers, the deep-sea divers, the skyscraper window cleaners, and those who have left the boundaries of earth’s atmosphere to explore what exists beyond this planet we call home.  Heck, even I welcomed fear into my life with open arms recently when I zip-lined five stories over a swampy pond filled with giant alligators.

    It would appear that in those specific instances, fear actually propels us into our greatness, thrusting us into our highest potential.  We desire the rush of danger.  We crave the surge of vulnerability.  We embrace the feelings of uncertainty.  We know there are no guarantees…and we do it anyway.

    So why do we not apply that same powerful field of energy when it comes to matters of the heart and soul?  Why do we suddenly “need” the guarantee?  Why do we suddenly “require” the certainty of a sure thing?  Why do we only clear the pathway to our heart when we feel convinced that it is “safe” to do so?

    In the meantime, while we are waiting for those assurances, we are not only denying ourselves the gift of those around us, we are denying those around us the gift of us.  Fear-based thinking causes us to live small and live prudent, shrinking into an existence of believing we can shield ourselves from our imagined fears by cocooning ourselves in layers of imagined protection.

    Imagine if Martin Luther King, Jr., thought, “I have a dream, but I am simply too scared to share it with the people of the world.”

    Imagine if Rosa Parks thought, “I do not want to give up my seat on this bus because of the color of my skin, but I am too afraid not to.”

    Imagine if Neale Donald Walsch thought, “I had an extraordinary conversation with God, but I’m too afraid to share it with the world for fear of how it or I will be received.”

    If any one of those people had listened to and acted upon that voice of fear, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right here, right now.  But these are the risk-takers.  These are the people who looked fear squarely and confidently and gently in the eye, blessed its presence in their lives, and did it anyway.

    And what exactly is the difference between these three individuals and us?  What do they have that perhaps you or I do not?

    Nothing, except a deep-seated understanding that no matter what happens, no matter how the chips may fall or in which direction the events of our lives take us, we have nothing to lose.  The guarantee that life gives to us is that we simply cannot fail.  The only “loss” we can experience is the one we personally create in our individual reality when we do not place ourselves fully in the game, the type of loss that prevents us from not only knowing who we really are, but actually experiencing who we are.

    “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
    Conversations with God

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • a QWERTY kind of life

    Change is difficult.  Unwanted change can be painful and challenging.  Recovery from addictions, hard or soft, is no exception.  Anyone who has consciously made the effort to rid their lives of a behavior they deem destructive or no longer useful can attest to this.  So why is it that when we come to the realization that we desire change it then becomes difficult to follow through?

    Personally, I have chosen recently to stop drinking coffee or any other caffeinated beverages.  It has been 18 days of complete abstinence for me, yet I know this territory very well.  I have quit before for longer periods of time.  The difference this time is, I have been seeking the support of others and remaining aware of my tendencies.

    Thoughts create our urges and cravings.  Sometimes the triggers are subtle, other times they are very predictable.  I have just about every Starbucks in the greater Orlando area mapped out in my head.  When I am driving, occasionally I will have the thought “hey, there is a Starbucks right around the corner.”  This is the moment of choice.  Do I react or do I create?  Do I give in and damage my self-esteem or do I acknowledge my own power and move on?   I have found the best way to choose the latter is to enroll others in my journey.

    The frontal lobe of the brain is the cognitive center, and its function is to separate out thoughts and filter them in the way we direct.  The midbrain is the impulsive, reactive center in the brain.  The midbrain sends its messages 7 times faster than the cognitive brain operates.  This is because the midbrain’s function is to preserve life.  When we practice cognitive behavior, we are much better prepared to handle the impulsiveness of the midbrain.  Increasing our awareness is a slow process that takes practice and willingness.

    So how do we direct the frontal lobe to make choices that support us in where we say we want to go?  This is the great challenge all of us face in life.  What are the voices in my head? How many of them are there? And which ones do I listen to?

    Life can be a lot like typing.  We can hunt and peck our way through, hoping we create a document worth reading before we die.  Or we can blindly stroke keys and end up with a mess of letters on a page that do not form any meaning at all.  Or, lastly, we can train ourselves to memorize where the keys are and which fingers to use to hit the keys and really create a work of art in a much shorter period of time, allowing for greater amounts of creation during our lifetime.

    The “qwerty” way of living life takes a little more upfront  work in the form of practicing healthy patterns of living so that we can start to direct our life with more focus and determination.  Have you noticed that the things in life you pay most attention to are the things that manifest in your reality?  Positive and negative, this is how life works.  God provides us with exactly what we place the majority of our intention on.

    This is why it is so important to make sure you are sending out the message that you want to experience and not place your energy on what you do not wish to experience.  Many of us tend to fall prey to the thinking that life is not on our side and that we are somehow at a disadvantage to others.  So long as we play out that belief, it will appear true.

    “The Universe is like a big Xerox machine.
    It simply produces multiple copies of your thoughts”
    Conversations with God, Book  1

    When we decide to make a change in our life, circumstances will present in the form of “are you sure?”  I have had many “are you sure” moments over the last 18 days of abstinence from caffeine.  From the wonderful smell of the coffee tray coming down the aisle of the airplane I was on and mercilessly stopping right next to me for what seemed like 5 minutes.  God, it smelled good!  But I had support, people who knew what I had called forth in my life.  And whether or not I didn’t take the coffee because I would have been embarrassed to admit I didn’t succeed or I simply chose not to, doesn’t matter.  I remained resolved in my quest.  One day at a time.  One craving at a time.  One “are you sure?” moment after the other.

    The moments when a craving hits or an opportunity presents itself to relapse into past behaviors and we choose to rise above and recreate ourselves in a new way, we reinforce our new pattern.  After doing this repeatedly, the new pattern becomes the norm and the “are you sure?” moments become less frequent.

    So I choose to embrace these “are you sure?” moments and recognize them for what they are.  They are the spiritual barbells of the universe, making us more powerful in our ability to create our lives in a more conscious way.

    What are your experiences with “are you sure?” moments?

    (Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen.  The next retreat will be September 19 – 22nd in San Jose, California.  More information on retreats can be found here. You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com  To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com) 

  • In sustainability, as in life, don’t forget to be accountable to YOU!

    How does your Life Context Impact Sustainability?

    Sustainability, simply defined, is meeting the needs of the present without hindering future generations from meeting their own needs. For the past forty years, much of the focus on sustainability has been directed toward environmental awareness and impact. Today, the economic and social dimensions of sustainability are equally as relevant. Sustainability is not simply the act of “being green.” The notion of “green” is but one aspect of a broader and more consequential concept for the generation alive here and now. Sustainability is about finding balance, amid the many trade-offs that exist, and by making a decision to take action on the most suitable options while considering the context of life one person (or an entire generation) if living within.

    Sustainability is often misunderstood. And to “achieve sustainability” can feel overwhelming. Where does one begin? By buying a more fuel efficient car? By purchasing “greener” clothes detergents? By eating organic foods? Sure, these are all options for consumers to evaluate. Living a sustainable lifestyle is as much about what you consume as it is about what you don’t consume. It is equally about “green products” as it is about finding alternative products. Sustainability then is about YOU and the myriad of choices evaluated, and decisions made, on a daily basis. How you engage your mind, body, and spirit in those choices and decisions is up to you. But in those acts you determine your role and impact in creating a more balanced, civilized, and sustainable world. The values, beliefs, actions and inactions of individuals represent the common denominator by which a sustainable world will be realized or not.

    Sustainability is tied to your “life context.” Your life context is comprised of the opportunities, demands, constraints or circumstances which drive your specific daily life and lifestyle. You have control over much of your “life context” including your beliefs, wants and desires, needs, and how you choose to spend your time and engage your energies. Yet, there are influences and impacts on your “life context” that you simply cannot control. But how you choose to accept your “life context” at any given phase of life has a direct impact on who you are today, and who you will be in the future. Sustainability then, is a process of self-enlightenment and fulfillment that begins with you. Achieving sustainability is about embracing life, finding your happiness, and empowering others to do the same.

    Adapting to Subtle and Swift Changes in Our Life Context

    My wife Aileen and I are the parents of two boys, 4 and 2. As many will appreciate, even when we are not at work, we are still “working” and continuously look to find a balance in our life. Within the past two years Aileen was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and Multiple Sclerosis (MS). As strange as it sounds, we are thankful that Aileen was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when she was. The cancer diagnosis came when she delivered our 2nd boy by cesarean. Had the doctors not performed the cesarean, and had they not removed a cancerous tumor, perhaps they would not have caught the disease as early as they did. Aileen does not talk about the moment very much. But I remember the anxiety on her face, and sense of fear she had when doctors told her they removed a tumor and was having it tested. It was as if she had known what the diagnosis outcome would be. She was overjoyed at being a mom to a 2nd boy, and for the moment had repressed her concerns of cancer toward the joy of our new baby.

    Aileen is a 6th grade teacher. Approximately three months after the birth of our 2nd boy Aileen reentered the workforce. In September 2010 she was in full swing, working full time, teaching children at school, and raising our own in our home. She had worked so hard on her Masters education to be a teacher. I remember a two year period when she was completing her Masters while working full-time as a teacher. There was even a brief period after the birth of our first son that she completed the last couple of graduate courses, in the evening, while working and being a first time mom. Aileen struggled with the decision to go back to work in 2010. There was no financial or marital pressure for her to return. It was her choice. But she felt she had invested so much time, energy, and passion into her profession, she did not want to see it “wasted.” At the same time her heart was with our two young boys and she felt, like many women, frustrated by having to choose between career and family, professional identity and personal ideology.

    We reluctantly hired a nanny for the 2010-11 school year closed our eyes, and hoped for the best. The year went by, as they all do, in a flash. As summer 2011 emerged, we reassessed our “life balance” and working and parenting situation. At that time we determined that Aileen staying at work was generally working for us. We had a great nanny; we were enjoying daily life as a family; and Aileen enjoyed being back at work and having a “professional” aspect to balance her day.

    By the following school year life would prove not as balanced. In September of 2011 Aileen went back to teaching another year of 6th grade. Our nanny from the year prior was no longer working with us (she had also earned her Masters and was looking for a full-time job), and so we had hired a new nanny for the boys. September went by in a flurry, and Aileen was feeling the stress of work and the anxieties of the new nanny. Exacerbating the discomfort of her work-life balance and the introduction of a new nanny was the fickle health of our oldest son who has severe food allergies, asthma, and ulcerative colitis. As parents we want the best for our children, and the complexity of our oldest son’s health issues can feel at times, overwhelming. The fall of 2011 was also election season, and Aileen was putting in additional time to support her father’s reelection bid for City Council. As November emerged, the amount of time Aileen put into work and family intensified and her stress followed in-suit.

    And then, over the course of a couple days in mid-November 2011, after the busyness of the fall seemed to quiet down, and right before the ramp-up of the holiday season, Aileen’s right eye sight deteriorated rapidly over the course of a couple days. Thinking it was nothing serious, she waited through a weekend to go to the doctors. The delay to see a doctor proved detrimental. By the following Monday, everything went black in Aileen’s right eye. We went to an Optometrist, and spent what felt like hours in exam room after exam room, test after test. Everything that could be wrong seemed to be ruled out. The Optometrist spoke with me several times during the day, and in each instance his tone seemed to be getting more serious and consolatory. Aileen expressed a myriad of emotion throughout the process. And I did my best to comfort her during a situation that seemed to have no answers.

    The Optometrist finally ruled that the issue with Aileen’s sight had nothing to do with the eye, but the optical nerves that attach to the back of the eye. He recommended a neurologist she should see right away, and we shifted gears to another doctor. Fast forward a series of steroid treatments, several neurologist visitations, more eye exams, blood tests, and a MRI and it was determined based upon the body of information, data, images, and results that Aileen had multiple sclerosis (MS). We were shocked, scared, and confused. We both went through a period of withdrawal, fear, and stress that quite frankly we had ever gone through before in our lives together or independently, and were not prepared to manage. But as doctors appointments were made, and as we learned more about the disease and Aileen’s specific condition, we slowly began to take back a sense of control that had been lost. This took time. I did my best to support Aileen in every way that I knew how.

    When loved ones go through these kinds of events, they often look to their partner to be their “rock,” for unconditional support. I believe I did fine, but know I could have done better. When a loved one goes through so much shock, pain, and crisis it is challenging to pull out of the chaotic convergence of emotion, data, and uncertainty to fully address their needs. And with two young boys also in need of daily attention, the challenge was great.

    Time may heal all things. For those with MS, time feels like a double edged sword. Living with MS brings with it a high degree of ambiguity, uncertainty and risks associated with Aileen’s long-term health and quality of life. The idea of how she will be impacted across time is as frightening as much as it is a reality that we must face. MS is an autoimmune disease 2-3 times more common in woman than in men. According to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society , approximately 400,000 people in the U.S. have MS, and 200 more people are diagnosed every week. It is also estimated that MS affects more than 2.1 million people worldwide. Epidemiologists, the scientists who study patterns of MS, believe that certain factors appear to be characteristic of who gets MS including: gender, genetics, age, geography, and ethnic background.

    MS has been a widely researched disease, however, after more than 140 years of research, there remains no known cause or cure to MS. Scientists have developed treatments that, for some patients may slow the progression of MS and may manage certain symptoms. However, no one singular treatment is effective for all patients. MS can literally manifest within each individual patient differently, thereby also contributing to symptoms and quality of life impacts that vary for each person who lives with the disease. The illness is also highly unpredictable leaving those who have MS to always have a certain amount of anxiety over a health issue that they cannot, with the current state of science, fully cure or truly control.

    Reframing Success: Discovering a New Balance and
    Life Context for Happiness, Strength, and Sustainability

    Since being diagnosed with cancer and MS, Aileen has refocused her energies on herself, her family, and how she wants to spend her time in the world. It is not that she wasn’t focused on these aspects of life before, she was. But now much of the minutia and details that consumed and clouded her thoughts have faded. She continues to feel a tug-of-war between professional and personal identity, but not as much as she once did. She has discovered that living life with a sense of purpose and strength comes from within, and that true happiness is an outcome of who she is inside. She is focused on her personal health, wellness, and spirituality. And in this inward and reflective process she is rediscovering her identity and how she will choose to reinsert herself into the world as a stronger, healthier, and happier person. In short, Aileen has chosen to be accountable first and foremost to her! And in the process all else in her life will align with her spirit and greatness.

    I do not have a disease, but in conversations with Aileen and others I have learned that for many, having a disease was a catalyst for reevaluate their life, their role in the world, and how they make the most of each day. It is so easy to get caught up in the details and complexities of daily life that we often forget what is important, including who our true “self” is. Working parents and working mothers in particular focus so intently on being responsible and accountable to everyone in their universe: husbands, children, teachers, colleagues, co-workers, friends, family, parents, etc. Yet what often gets overlooked is the need to be accountable to one self.

    Everyone has the capacity to endure life’s challenges. And, everyone has potential to feel fulfilled and happy. Yet so few of us quiet our ego’s desire for recognition and enable our true self to live free of external judgment or personal regret. Humans are inherently resilient. When faced with adversity we typically meander our way to finding resolution and meaning in our life. Sustainability is a human endeavor. Much like the way Aileen is reevaluating her role in the world and in living with MS and cancer, sustainability offers a platform for introspection, critical thinking, and accountability. In its simplest form sustainability is all about asking ourselves if what we are doing, right here and now, aligns with our values, beliefs, and true self. Sustainability is about asking if our “life context” makes sense. Are we brokering our children’s futures in the actions and decisions we make today? Are we doing our best to protect the earth from unsustainable practices or human induced behaviors and impacts? How can we be the stewards of our own health and quality of life and in turn, the stewards of a more sustainable world?

    Sustainability is about making the decisions and taking action on your life in the face of those things that we never saw coming, like being diagnosed and living with an incurable disease. As you self evaluate your role in creating a more sustainable world, consider: What are your needs, and are you paying enough attention to those? How are you managing your “life context”? Do you feel that you live your life with balance, sense of purpose, resolve, and impact? Are you being accountable to who you are and your needs? How do you define the measures of success, health, happiness in your life?

    Change is inevitable. How we react and respond to change is critical to whether we sink or swim, as individuals, as parents, as spouses, and as a generation that has the capacity, will, and know-how to find balance today, and for a stronger and healthier tomorrow.

    mark(Mark Coleman is the author of the book The Sustainability Generation: The Politics of Change and Why Personal Accountability is Essential NOW!, see, www.thesustainabilitygeneration.com. Throughout his career Mark Coleman has developed a strong focus on the critical areas of energy, environment, and sustainability. His career has spanned strategic and leadership positions in government, applied research, technology development, and management consulting organizations. This rich and diverse experience has enabled Mr. Coleman to have access to, engage, and work with a broad range of regional, national, and international leaders on the subject of sustainability. Mr. Coleman resides in Auburn, NY with his wife Aileen and two sons Owen and Neal.)

    (If you would like to contribute an article you have authored to the Guest Column, please submit it to our Managing Editor, Lisa McCormack, for possible publication in this space. Not all submissions can be published, due to the number of submissions and sometimes because of other content considerations, but all are encouraged. Send submissions to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com. Please label the topic: “Guest Column.”)

  • Love, God, and dirty socks

    Some people are quite surprised, and many gasp with disbelief, when they hear the story of how my husband and I both completely forgot our one-year anniversary.  I know, it sounds semi-plausible that perhaps one of us might overlook such an important milestone in our relationship, but both of us forgetting altogether seems rather comical, a nearly an impossible idea to believe.

    This unusual blunder does not stem from a lack of caring, nor does it reflect some level of mutual apathy towards our partnership.  You see, it truly is, rather, that our relationship has not demonstrated itself as yearning to be measured or defined within the parameters of time.  Measuring or gauging our relationship in terms of days or months or years, while it does hold sentimental enjoyment for us to reflect upon, has never been the focus or intent of our partnership.

    Neither is the expectation of our relationship to be in a constant state of blissful agreement.  We understand deeply, although we sometimes forget, that at times our Souls will yearn for different experiences, and that the richness of our partnership is not determined by only those moments in which we see eye to eye. And even on those occasions when life has called upon us to experience contrast, or when we have stepped off the path of remembrance, forgetting who we are, the sanctity of our holy union has always been held in the palm of tenderness, compassion, and understanding.

    Sure, we disagree about some of the day-to-day tasks in life — taking out the trash and cleaning the kitchen, which television program to watch in the evening, selecting the appropriate temperature setting in our home, dirty socks on the floor, etc.  And at times we find ourselves on opposite sides of issues which carry much more importance in our lives, and the lives of others.  But the one thing that we do not waiver on, ever, is our understanding of and commitment to the partnership of our souls and the mutual desire and devotion to each other’s experience of and communion with God.

    And the experience of communion with God is not something forever lost in days gone by, nor is it something that we can only hope and wish for in the moments of tomorrow.  It is for us to experience right here, right now.  It doesn’t magically happen at a 1-year anniversary or a 10-year anniversary or a 50-year anniversary, nor does it happen with only one person.  It happens the moment you choose for it happen.  It happens as often as you desire for it to happen.  And it happens with whomever you choose for it to happen with.  Because, quite simply, it is always happening.  Sometimes we just have to peel back the layers of what we think we see to be able to experience what is really there.

    Perhaps now more than ever before, relationships are stretched and challenged by the push and pull of the demands of a fast-paced world.  It seems to me that so many of us are forgetting, rather than remembering, the purpose for which we exist in each other’s lives.  Maybe these very words will cause one or two or three people to pause and think about what that reason might be, maybe even for the very first time.  It is never too late.  You are never too old, too poor, too sick, too busy, too tired, or too anything to make a change in your relationships and create your life anew.

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • More on personal power, plus media, abortion, and life…

    Dear Therese,

    Been reading some of your advice columns. I think your advice is so thought out and great. One question in particular I resonated with was the man asking where our leaders are and who do we follow. I really feel that is the question of my generation (30’s) and younger. I agree with you 100%,  but I just want to add a little. Your generation had real news (for the most part). It was opinionated and honest reporting, such as the hippie movement, Vietnam, and Martin Luther King, Jr.  My generation comes from filtered, agenda oriented, media. If there is an icon to follow, look to,  (such as the way many opinions were changed with MLK), our media makes them look like lunatics.  That is, if they even choose to do a story on them. If today was 1960, Neale would be main stream news with his new way of thinking. Hell no, you Google him today and he’s made to look like a crazy for saying God spoke to him. And that’s my point, anything to do with God is not news. The only news about Christians is about things like Westboro Baptist and how God hates fags (their word). Why? Because the news is that people who believe in God are insane. People who don’t believe in abortion are out of touch. My point here is that people like Neale don’t get face time anymore. I could go on here but my point is younger generations are lost.

    Also, its about finding the pure courage and sacrifice for speaking up and finding a graceful way of demanding a better way. We are taught that the only heros are fiction. Anyway, the word “peace” and its meaning, and how to achieve it in ourselves and others around, is completely mutilated and twisted.

    I also want to give you an example how what was taught to me, mainly through media, was so contorted and wrong. Woman’s right to choose. This act is to be empowering, it’s my body, I can choose to abort. Because I believed what I saw on TV, media, hidden messages in TV shows etc. I felt I was empowering myself as a woman to abort. Knowing what I know now, no, I was manipulated into this thinking and I chose wrong. I’m not empowered,  neither man nor woman has a right to choose this. Life can not be debated. A life is a life, period. If someone buys a gun, points it and kills someone, there is no debate, there is no empowerment. The man who held the gun and killed goes to prison. Why in the world have we bought into it’s ok to abort?? Let me be more clear,  why have we accepted it’s a woman’s right to kill a baby?? A woman who’s not in her right mind drowns her children in a tub  is demonized for the rest of her life for doing so. But it’s ok to rip a 6 month old fetus (in some states) out of the womb and break its neck and dispose of it??? It’s OK because the person doing it is a doctor?? And to think our country ALLOWS a person to choose killing babies on a daily basis as a PROFESSION??!! How twisted and numb we are toward life! My point is, I don’t feel empowered for exercising my right to choose, I feel like a killer and every woman who thinks twice about the decision will one day feel the same on some level. Or perhaps they won’t because they have chosen to bury the burden.

    I chose to share my insight about this to show you how I didn’t think twice because of what was fed to me. Just think of how manipulated younger generations are now because its taught more and more there is no God, only government.

    Georgia, in PA

    Dear Georgia,

    I left your letter pretty intact, because I believe these are important issues you raise.  I will not use this column to give any advice as to whether or not a woman should choose to have an abortion, but will address what I believe to be larger issues surrounding the specific issue, that may help you with the guilt you feel surrounding your decision to abort.  So…

    If you believe in God, you have to define what kind of God you believe in.

    I believe in a God who does not judge me or condemn me for things that I did when I did not have a fully formed opinion of God and Life.  Sweet lady, I don’t believe God would have any desire for you to have a moment of guilt beyond the point where it served you to think about something and form your own feelings about things.  Guilt harms our mind and our bodies, and God has no need for anything that harms us.  Her only desire is for our happiness.

    I also believe, if one believes in God, that no life, no matter how short, is without purpose.  I believe that even the aborted fetus (child), chose to have that experience.  You see, just as the life of a brother murdered in a drive-by shooting, or a beloved grandparent dying, causes us to reflect on the meaning of that person in our lives, so, too, does the life of that unborn child.

    My reflection on abortion has gotten me to the point where I don’t believe it is a matter of whether or not we have taken a life…because I don’t believe that life ever ends, and is, rather, something we will do again and again.  My reflection has me at the same point you are…why do we even think that this child isn’t Life?  Why do we value life, in general, so little?  Or is it something more?  Are we beginning to value ourselves, as women in particular, once again?  Inappropriately, to be sure, but just as the abused becomes the abuser, couldn’t it be that women, given choices now, don’t know how to make those choices very well sometimes?

    Or is the choice of abortion, and the purpose of those children, greater than even that?  Is it so much about the child/mother, as it is about culture (government/big business/media…are they really separate?), and religion that got us to the point of even thinking that there is a need for this choice?

    Let’s back up to before the point of making the decision to abort.  What would have to change in a woman’s life to change this decision?

    I believe what would have to change is that no woman, married or not, would ever be reviled, or thought to be sinful or wrong in their choice to carry a child to full term.  Nor would she be made wrong for choosing to give that child up for adoption.  I believe that when every woman knows that they will not be thrown into poverty because they have a child, or be given, essentially, second class citizenship, they will have those children.  And if abortion is to be something that no one ever chooses, then we must believe, as I mentioned earlier, that we lose nothing when we die…so dying in the act of birthing would not be considered anything but a natural continuation of life…of the mother’s and the child’s.

    I, with all of my heart, believe what CWG says regarding “right’ and “wrong”.  There is no right and wrong, only what works and doesn’t work.  Abortion IS working to get the conversation going…but it is NOT working as something we should choose once we have our moment of enlightenment on the topic, individually, then, hopefully, collectively.

    These changes in our world can happen.  I believe that there are so many abortions now, because these little unborn souls are choosing to get this dialog going.  I think that extremists (political, religious) , are currently monopolizing this conversation, turning it into a distorted dialog…that is tied up in the larger agenda of money/control, and until the dialog turns to how we think about ourselves, in relation to one another and to Divinity, it will continue to be a point that will never be universally resolved.  The issue of abortion, for me, is also representative of how we are re-thinking the killing another human being…period.  If it is not okay to end the life of an unborn child, how is it okay to end the life of a “born” child…through war?  via the death penalty?  We are having to ask ourselves why is the temporal deemed so valuable as to justify offering up human lives to possess?

    However, it is people like you and I, who will, ultimately, effect this change.  As I said in the column you referred to, I believe that WE are the leaders who will change the world, and we have to stop waiting for others to change it for us!  Change ourselves, change the person next to us, change the whole darn world!  (Shades of Mother Teresa and Ghandi!)

    Georgia, this is a very timely topic, and one with which many struggle, especially those who have had an abortion.  I thank you SO much for your input about this.  My thoughts about abortion have been floating around for about a month, and now I know why!  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to express them.  You might also consider that without your experience with abortion,  this column might not have been written, and others would not know your thoughts…and your thoughts could be part of the shift in this world we seek.

    Oh, one last thing…I agree that today’s news is very skewed and full of agenda, but that might just be a good thing, because it is, at least, very transparent now.  We definitely know who is the liberal and who is the conservative etc.  My generation (baby boomer), had very censored news in its own way.  Neale might have gotten more “face time”, but I doubt he would have been accepted. (But I get what you are saying…take the more transparency and lay it over today)  The point of any of the generations is that we must think for ourselves, and the best way to “think” for ourselves, is to feel what any input does to our bodies.  “Truth” and “Lie” feel very different in our bodies, but we have been taught to ignore our body for a very long time…way before your generation or mine.  Now is the time to teach our own children something different, don’t you think?

    Therese

    (Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net . She may be contacted at:                                                              Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

    An additional resource:  ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.

  • Love explosion!

    I have two good friends who, on the night they got married a few years back, placed a large custom sticker on the back of the window of their car which boldly and playfully exclaimed “Love Explosion.”  I have always thought it to be so wonderfully fitting to describe their relationship as a “love explosion” and still find myself smiling, even today, many years later, at the mere mention of it.

    At this moment, I can’t think of a more appropriate phrase than a “love explosion” to describe what has happened in our country today, June 26, 2013, as the Supreme Court of the United States of America overturned the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a federal law passed on September 21, 1996, which allowed states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriages performed under the laws of other states, effectively barring same-sex married couples from receiving federal marriage benefits. The victory means the federal government must recognize the marriages of gay and lesbian couples married in the 12 states that allow same-sex marriage, plus the District of Columbia, and give them the same benefits that they had been previously denied under the DOMA.

    This landmark decision is cause for celebration not only among those in the gay community, but for anyone who counts themselves among those who yearn for the day when all human beings on our planet will be able to freely express and experience love, absent judgment, absent restrictions, a day when everyone will be afforded equal opportunities in every aspect of their lives. And this historic ruling today by the United States Supreme Court is a very good indicator that we are indeed headed in that direction.  Perhaps not as swiftly or speedily as many of us would truly desire, but, yes, the shift is definitely happening.

    Events like this in our human experience help us to understand more clearly just how vast and limitless and immeasurable Love is.  How silly for us human beings to think for one nanosecond that we could contain Love inside any kind of container, and somehow then attempt to keep it there by sternly guarding it with our narrow rules and stiff laws.  How naive of some people on this planet to believe that we could place boundaries on that which is boundless and eternal.  How peculiar that so many people thought they could define in human terms that which has demonstrated itself time and time again to exist outside the limited parameters of our language.

    Love.

    Love is all there is.

    There is nothing but Love.

    And try as we might to control, manipulate, restrict, quell, morph, or ignore the ways in which Love is choosing to be expressed in our lives, Love will pour forth, Love will radiate from the heartbeat of the universe, and Love will explode from the purest place of peace and joy.  It will not differentiate between a man and a woman or a man and a man or a woman and a woman.  It will not subdue or enhance its presence based on differing skin colors or countries of origin or religious preferences.  It simply cannot.  We can imagine that it can.  We can believe that it can.  And if we do not stop the insanity of thinking we get to choose who is allowed or who is denied Love, then our experience of Love will be one that reflects those narrow choices.

    Thankfully, on this day, these revolutionary words were authored by United States Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, reflecting the New Tomorrow that we here at “The Global Conversation” are honored and overjoyed to stand witness to and share:

    “DOMA undermines both the public and private significance of state-sanctioned same-sex marriages; for it tells those couples, and all the world, that their otherwise valid marriages are unworthy of federal recognition. This places same-sex couples in an unstable position of being in a second-tier marriage. The differentiation demeans the couple, whose moral and sexual choices the Constitution protects, see Lawrence, 539 U. S. 558, and whose relationship the State has sought to dignify. And it humiliates tens of thousands of children now being raised by same-sex couples. The law in question makes it even more difficult for the children to understand the integrity and closeness of their own family and its concord with other families in their community and in their daily lives.”

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • Embracing the death of
    Nelson Mandela

    In The Times yesterday, the headline “End Nears for Mandela” caught my eye. The subtitle said it all, “Nelson Mandela, 94, has become critically ill after 16 days in hospital.”

    Reading on further, it made me chuckle when I read that the seven doctors traveling with Mandela were “in full control of the situation.” How preposterous!

    When the life energy withdraws from the physical expression, doctors are anything but in control. What can they do? The Soul energy has chosen to withdraw, to die… to Dissipate Identifying Energies.

    Rather than a morbid report, however, Nelson Mandela’s critical condition presents us with another opportunity to remind ourselves of the Sacred Passage of the Soul, and to remind ourselves of the precious Gift of Life that we have been given.
    One thing is certain: all of us must pass through the window of death, just as we have chosen to pass through the window of birth.

    In human terms, we enter at “conception” or “birth,” move along an imaginary timeline, and then experience “death.” This all seems very real to us, and so it should be, else the purpose of the Grand Illusion would be lost! However, as we grow in consciousness, we realise that this timeline is linear, so life and death exist because of it.

    Spirit moves in a circle… Is a circle… And we are part of Spirit. As part of that consciousness and energy, we are not bound to the linear timeline of decay and death.
    For those who have forgotten the Soul’s journey, who think that this life is all there is, Mandela’s death will be a tragedy. It will be a great loss.

    For those who have remembered the Soul’s journey, his passing over will be a triumph. It will be a celebration!

    Nelson-Mandela-006

    Nelson Mandela has certainly accomplished his Soul’s purpose, rising to the challenge of being here on Earth, and even surpassing his own expectations of what was possible. Only a Great Soul could have chosen such a path, demonstrating forgiveness and compassion so consistently, that the Giant Wall of Indifference and Separation (“Apartheid”) came tumbling down.

    Now it is time to let him go, with gratitude for all he has done for us.

    And so it is.

    (Jaime Tanna is the founder of Energy Therapy and an active Reiki Master and Spiritual Mentor, Healer and Teacher. Together with his wife Jennifer, their unifying vision is to empower others through spiritual education and energy-based healing treatments, to help them become aware of their true natures, and to live more joyfully and consciously. You can visit their website at www.energytherapy.biz)

    (If you would like to contribute an article you have authored to the Guest Column, please submit it to our Managing Editor, Lisa McCormack, for possible publication in this space. Not all submissions can be published, due to the number of submissions and sometimes because of other content considerations, but all are encouraged. Send submissions to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com. Please label the topic: “Guest Column.”)

     

  • Unforgivable?

    There have been moments in my life when I have entertained unkind thoughts. I have also said things in my life that I do not feel proud of. And I can remember times when I have acted in ways that contradicted my best intentions. I suppose each and every one of us can remember at least one time in our lives when our thoughts, words, and actions were not in alignment with our Highest Self, instances when we functioned from a place of fear and not from a place of love, moments when we knew at a very deep and certain level that we had stepped off the path of clarity.

    However, fortunately for most of us, our mishaps, intentional or otherwise, were not instantaneously broadcast on national television, shared feverishly across thousands, if not millions, of internet websites, blogs, Facebook and Twitter pages, or published in countless newspaper and magazine publications around the world simultaneously, as they have been in recent days for Paula Deen.

    Ms. Deen is being sued by a former manager at her restaurants, Lisa T. Jackson, in Savannah, Georgia, for sexual and racial harassment. Jackson’s lawsuit alleges that Deen and her brother, Bubba Hier, committed numerous acts of violence, discrimination, and racism that resulted in the end of her five-year employment with Deen.

    During a deposition in the legal proceedings, Paula Deen admitted to using racial epithets, such as the “N” word, tolerating racist jokes, and condoning pornography in the workplace, candid forthcomings that have landed her smack dab in the middle of a firestorm of sharp criticism and vilification from both the media and the public at large. Ms. Deen’s candor ultimately led to the swift decision by The Food Network to cancel her cooking show on their television station only one hour after she publicly offered her heartfelt apologies and begged for forgiveness from all those who have been affected by her choices and actions.

    I would like to be clear that I am not here to judge what Paula Deen did, or did not do, as being good or bad, right or wrong, defensible or indefensible. What I am interested in having a conversation about is: What happens now? How do we, individually and collectively, show up now in relation to this event and this experience? Do we attempt to drain and deplete Paula Deen of every ounce of goodness and joy that she has given to our world as a trade-off for the moments in which she forgot who she was? Do we punish her? Do we support her? Do we forgive her?

    Is forgiveness even necessary?

    In the book The Only Thing That Matters, we are offered the invitation to consider a radical new way of thinking: Forgiveness Forgone, a concept which says that forgiveness is not necessary when it is replaced, rather, with the more powerful energy of Understanding. If this concept is held as true, then the question becomes: What are we being asked to understand here? Are we willing to see through the thick layers of distortion – anger, fear, judgment – to understand that anything Paula Deen has said or done is truly an expression of love? Do we need to see to it that Paula Deen “loses everything” in order for us to feel as though we are “made whole”? Is that how it all works in this game of life?

    Perhaps the notoriety of situations like these offers us an opportunity to peer into our own personal relationships and notice where we are holding on to grudges or allowing tightly held resentment to dominate our choices. Is there anything in life that is unforgivable? Is there a “point of no return”?

    Perhaps the woes and sorrows of another famous face are unimportant to us as we move through the day-to-day affairs of our own lives. As with everything in life, we all get to decide for ourselves what it means. But for me, I can’t help but notice the many way in which these types of defining moments continue to appear, calling me, beckoning me, and inviting me to once again choose, declare, and ultimately experience who I really am.

    Who will you choose to be?

     

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • Here we go again…

    It wasn’t my original intention to have a two-part or continuing series in my column about this particular topic, but after last week’s piece about the controversy surrounding the Cheerios commercial and the racially driven outbursts which took place as a result of its portrayal of a bi-racial couple who are parents to a mixed-race daughter, it appears as though another opportunity has presented itself for us to enter into a thoughtful conversation around belief systems which thrive on and promote ideas of separatism and which attempt to control and dictate other human beings based upon nationality, physicality, skin color, age, sexual orientation, etc.

    Sebastien De La Cruz, 11 years old, a former contestant on the popular television program “America’s Got Talent,” was invited by the NBA to sing the National Anthem at the opening of Game 3 during the finals in San Antonio, Texas.  This adorable and wonderfully talented young man stepped courageously out onto the basketball court in front of thousands of onlookers and performed a rendition of the National Anthem that brought people to their feet, cheering with appreciation.

    However, unfortunately, Sebastien De La Cruz was also confronted with the same backlash as General Mills experienced in response to their Cheerios commercial by people who verbally attacked young Sebastien, slinging racial barbs at him on the internet, questioning whether his Mexican heritage deemed him “worthy” of singing the National Anthem, and harshly criticizing the fact that he wore a mariachi outfit during his performance.

    The comments that are being circulated are so offensive that I have chosen not to reprint any of them here.  And they most certainly aren’t instrumental in our ability to have a discussion around why and how a young boy — who happens to be an American citizen, by the way — can find himself on the receiving end of such seething hostility and distorted thinking.  What in the world could cause anyone to think and then actually rise to the level of expressing such oppressive and hurtful words to an 11-year-old child?

    Will there be a time when we eventually stop defining ourselves by “this” or “that,” “here” or “there,” “have” or “have not,” “better than” or “less than”?

    In response to the commotion, Sebastien De La Cruz has demonstrated himself to be a powerful force of wisdom and clarity.  “For those that said something bad about me, I understand it’s your opinion,” said Sebastien to CNN. “I’m a proud American and live in a free country. It’s not hurting me. It’s just your opinion.  Please do not pay attention to the negative people. I am an American living the American Dream. This is part of the American life.”  Sebastien said today was like any other day, but he’s always grateful to wake up to yet another day able to sing. He said he owes his positive outlook to his parents, family and everyone in San Antonio.

    Contrary to the negative energy swirling around this story, there has also been an overwhelming show of appreciation and support for Sebastien.  So much so that the San Antonio Spurs invited him back for an encore performance for Game 4.  Sebastien also received encouragement in the form of a Tweet from a very special fan:

    “Barack Obama:  Don’t miss @selcharrodeoro’s encore performance of the national anthem at the #NBAFinals in San Antonio tonight.”

    In closing, I share with you this from Conversations With God, Book 3:  “The level of a society’s advancement is reflected, inevitably, in the degree of its duality thinking. Social evolution is demonstrated by movement towards unity, not separatism.”

    And the question I proffer to you is:  Which one are we moving towards?

    Please enjoy this video of Sebastien De La Cruz’s performance:

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • Are you kidding me?

    I invite you to watch a short video clip.  It is only 31 seconds long. And after you have finished watching this particular video clip, which happens to be an advertisement for the well-known breakfast cereal Cheerios, I then invite you to explore your initial feelings and observations in relationship to what you just watched.

    This ad has created some surprising controversy, and I would like to give our readers here at The Global Conversation an opportunity to weigh in on your thoughts and opinions surrounding this advertising campaign.

    What do you think?

    What do you feel?

    Does anything strike you as odd or offensive?

    I heard about “the controversial Cheerios commercial,” and I have to tell you, before reading the story behind the firestorm, I watched this video clip two or three times and STILL could not figure out what the commotion was all about.  When I went on to read an article about the negative reaction this video prompted from a segment of our world’s population, I felt as though I stepped back in some peculiar and unforgiving time machine.

    Cheerios’ portrayal of a bi-racial couple, an African-American father and a Caucasian mother, both parents to a young mixed-race daughter, received so many negative and racist comments on YouTube — references to ‘Nazis’ and ‘troglodytes’ and ‘racial genocide’ – General Mills, the parent company of Cheerios, elected to disable the “comments” section underneath the video.

    With as much progress and forward movement we have made as a society, how is it possible that there are still so many people who haven’t progressed and who haven’t moved forward?  Maybe I am naive, but I continue to be transported to a place of disbelief, oftentimes simply having no words to express, when I hear of or stand witness to human beings who not only judge but actually interfere in the well-being of another based on what they look like, how they talk, how old or young they are, how fat or skinny they are, who they love, how they wear their hair and like to dress, what kind of house they live in, how much money they have, who they like to have sex with, what color their skin is, etc.

    When you watched this video, did you feel anything but affection and sweetness?  Contentment and warmness?  And maybe a sudden hunger for a bowl of Cheerios?

    Actor Charles Malik Whitfield, the man who plays the African-American father in the ad, supports the Cheerios ad wholeheartedly and recently spoke about it.

    “As an actor who happens to be African-American, I am very proud to be part of the forward-thinking Cheerios commercial produced by General Mills. I believe it represents what America stands for – regardless of race, creed or sexual preference. To all of the wonderful people who have supported this heart-warming and very adorable commercial, I applaud you all,” Whitfield said.

    In a statement to ABC News, Camille Gibson, the VP of Marketing for Cheerios said, “Consumers have responded positively to our new Cheerios ad.  At Cheerios, we know there are many kinds of families and we celebrate them all.”

    Well, today, I celebrate you, General Mills, for being at the forefront of a New Cultural Story in our world.   Not only does it make me want to buy Cheerios, it makes me just simply want to be more loving, more compassionate, more accepting, and more aware than I have already declared myself to be.

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)