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  • You are Driving me to Drink!

    Okay, we have all heard someone say that, whether it was in jest or someone actually meant “I am going to drink because I can‘t deal with you.”  Oftentimes the loved ones of an addict will actually believe that they are causing the addict to use, and they may just be right.

    By no means am I saying that the user would not be using if those around them simply conformed to their wishes.  What I am saying is that the person who is in early stages of recovery has an enormous amount of guilt and shame to work through in order to maintain sobriety.  The distractions of an unhealthy relationship can be the stumbling block the person in early recovery cannot hurdle.

    The co-dependent has become so reactionary that they lose themselves totally in the others problem.  They either obsess over how to gain or maintain sobriety for the abuser, or they demand reparations for all the past damage before the significant other is ready or able to give it.  This is why it is so vital for the co-dependent to accept that they have been affected by the disease and face the dysfunction it has create in their own life.  As we fall together, so too shall we grow together.

    There are three possible outcomes for a recovering alcoholic or drug addicts and their families:

    1.  The spouse or family finds a program and recovers and the user recovers.
    2.  The spouse or family does not recover and the user relapses.
    3.  The spouse or family does not recover and the user leaves the family to stay in recovery.

    I understand how hard it is for someone who has lived with a person in active addiction to accept that they have contracted the same disease.  I know in the minds of many this sounds like an indictment on the “victim.”  I assure you that it is not an attack.  Your wounds are real, your anger is valid, and your inability to trust is understandable.  What I am trying to convey here is that you have put life on hold while you did the best you could to try and get a handle on a seemingly impossible situation.  In order for you to regain your sense of normalcy, you must engage yourself in the process of re-discovery of self.

    We are in relationships to experience our highest thoughts about who we are and why we are here.  In a functionally loving relationship, we work together for the highest good.  My best asset to another is my own understanding of my purpose in life.  When I take care of me, I am taking care of “we.”  This is precisely what the 12-step programs are geared towards, redefining me in a healthy and positive way.

    It is particularly important to define personal boundaries in a working relationship between a co-dependent and a person in recovery.  In all relationships one must let their counterpart know what is acceptable and what is not.  Most often we do not know what our boundaries are until they are crossed.  Once we are aware of an issue, we must then find the most effective way to inform the other of our discovery.

    Communication is something that in most cases had broken down many years prior to the point of both parties getting into recovery, yet it is essential to work towards finding a compassionate and understanding way of communication as soon as possible.  Many times we don’t share our thoughts and feelings due to our own made-up story of possible outcomes of doing so.  This is can no longer be acceptable in recovery.  There is no room for sweeping our problems under the rug and acting like everything is fine.  We must create a space that is safe for our self and our other to express themselves.

    My suggestion to anyone who finds themselves affected by a significant other’s abuse would be to find  an appropriate 12-step meeting, such as Al-Anon, or Alateen, CODA, Nar-Anon, etc.  Determine what it is you would like to do moving forward and take steps towards doing that.  Define what you will not accept and communicate that to the addict in your life.

    (Kevin McCormack is a “Conversations with God” Life Coach, a Spiritual Helper on www.changingchange.net, and an addictions recovery advisor.  To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com.)

  • Are we supposed to fear God?

    Is God a being to be “feared”?

    The idea that it is good and wonderful and something to be admired to be “God fearing” has been put back into the public arena by a young television star who has taken to the Internet to urge his fans go stop watching the program that made them his fans to begin with.

    Angus T. Jones has been playing the role of Jake Harper on the CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men for ten years, and a few years ago (2010) became the highest paid child star in television, earning, at age 17, nearly $8 million in just two seasons. But earlier this year he acknowledged that he is these days experiencing some discomfort playing some of the story lines that were being written for his now older character on the show.

    That discomfort apparently erupted full blown last week when Mr. Jones posted a video on YouTube saying that he no longer wanted to appear on the program, on which he has been a continuing character for a decade, declaring that the show conflicted with his religious views. Mr. Jones said he had just been baptized as a member of the Forerunner Christian Church.

    In the video Mr. Jones went further. He asked his fans to stop watching Two and a Half Men and “filling your head with filth.” I have nothing to say about that. If Mr. Jones feels his own television program is “filth,” so be it.

    (Mr. Jones has since released a statement in which he essentially says that he did not wish to personally insult or dishonor the show’s producer, director, cast, or crew with his remarks, all of whom he thanked for the opportunity and the help each have given him in show business — but he did not withdraw or disavow his assessment that show’s content was “filth.”)

    What I would like to discuss here, however, is not the show’s content, but the content of Mr. Jones’ remarks about God. Mr. Jones has been quoted by news sources as saying on the YouTube video: “If I am doing any harm, I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be contributing to the enemy’s plan…You cannot be a true God-fearing person and be on a television show like that. I know I can’t. I’m not OK with what I’m learning, what the bible says, and being on that television show.”

    So since this now world-famous young actor (the show is syndicated in several countries) has placed before a planetary audience his idea of what it means to be “a true God-fearing person,” I would like to place for the planet my idea of whether God means for each of us to be a God-fearing person. I would like to explore this in the days ahead here, and take a really close look at exactly what God wants in this regard.

    But first, let me ask you. People from all over the world read this online newspaper, and this column. I’d be curious to know: What is your truth, what is your awareness, what is your own personal experience and understanding around the question: Does God want us, need us, request us, command us, to fear God? What is your knowing around this? What would be God’s reason for it?

    Please leave your Comment here, below. Then, in the days ahead, I’ll get into what I think about what God wants.

  • Work Before Play or Play Before Work?

    I feel really stuck in life right now.  I’m doing everything that I think I want to be doing (pursuing my master’s degree, working in my chosen field, developing my spirituality, maintaining my health) yet I often notice that amidst it all I feel stagnant and unfulfilled even.  It doesn’t seem to add up.  I don’t necessarily want to change anything about my life right now, at least the direction of it, but I also know I don’t want to feel this way.  I would appreciate any insight you have on this please.

    Roberta, Michigan

    Hi Roberta,

    I’m going to answer your question with a question: what are you doing for fun?  You see, in the quest to live a fulfilled life, we often put a lot of focus on the stuff that we believe brings us happiness (career/purpose, money, stability, health, family, personal growth, etc.).  None of that is bad, of course, it just tends to carry a heavier energy of “seriousness,” an urgency to “get it done so I can be happy.”  Without a healthy dose of fun and variety in the mix, as well as inviting mindfulness (aka “being” within the “doing”), it’s very easy to find ourselves feeling stuck and even unfulfilled.  In fact, I believe fun is completely underrated in our society, that the mindset many people have that there’s only time for fun after the work is done is a huge disservice to their own happiness and well-being.  Fun and variety are the fuel that allows us to keep going with all the other important things in life!  And if you’re not having fun and enjoying what you’re doing, then what’s the point?  (Okay, so you can tell I’m a bit passionate about this subject.)

    Now, I recognize that I don’t know everything about your story, and I’m sure there are probably some other contributing factors to your feeling stuck, stagnant, and unfulfilled, but I’m going to give you a place to start:

    ~ Ask yourself how much “healthy” fun and variety you currently have in your life (i.e., the kind that fills you up, makes you feel good and doesn’t hurt anybody, least of all you).  Then, if you can’t think of anything or there are only one or two things that you “sometimes” do, ask yourself:

    ~ “How can I add more healthy fun and variety into my life on a regular basis?”  This may look like taking a class just for fun, joining a club, scheduling in consistent time to hang out with friends, or even including at least an hour of fun into your day EVERY day. Then do it. (I do the last one, by the way, as part of my work day.  And I work more efficiently because of it.)

    ~ Also, ask yourself how you can be more present in each of those areas you’ve identified in your life (school, work, spirituality, health).  A place to start might be in noticing what you love about each of those areas.  Another idea would be to choose the state of being you wish you were in on any given day and simply be that (a whole other topic).

    ~ Finally, if all else fails, partner with someone to help you through it, to help you get to the underlying reason behind your “stuckness” and who can help you navigate your way to flow, fulfillment, happiness, joy and freedom.  Hire a coach, work with a therapist, a spiritual counselor, whatever you feel drawn towards but do something.  It’s so much easier (and faster) than trying to do it alone.

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • What is it that you were given?

    Whenever I sit down to write with the intention of sharing my thoughts, I think about the possibility that my personal challenges and breakthroughs might not be that different from what others are experiencing around the world—which makes sense if we believe We are All One. And I do. The circumstances for our individual growth may appear different, but perhaps what is being learned is virtually the same, and we bring those gifts back to the Collective: What you are experiencing matters.

    This morning I looked closely at what I’ve encountered these past almost twelve months. If I were to describe it in two words, it would be “The Opposite.” In fact, it feels like the majority of what’s come down the pike during this last year has seemed like the opposite of what my Ego or Mind hoped would come, even having taken into consideration that “2012” might be bringing with it a few rough patches.

    I think one of the toughest parts about being Spirit cloaked in Human form is that we don’t have access to “the whole picture.” We’re only seeing things from a limited perspective, not from a vantage point that helps us to see how any birth, any death, any ending or beginning that elicits extreme growth and change is intricately connected to all beings, everywhere, encouraging their evolution as well.

    This week someone wrote to me and shared with me that her family just went through the second anniversary of having lost her seventeen-year-old son to cancer. This kind of loss simply can’t be made sense of in the Mind. And if there’s one thing I believe so many of the losses we’ve endured together in 2012 have brought each of us, it’s that realization.

    So where do we go to make sense of it all, when we are moving through losses greater than we imagined we would face?

    In these days and times, maybe we can only look at life’s current challenges through the eyes of the heart. We begin to make sense of our current crisis, loss or change in the heart, and then the mind can begin to grasp the greater purpose with more space and ease. Unlike the mind, the heart is where I have always found spaciousness, and peace. But it usually takes dire circumstances to turn me in that direction…

    There’s a poem that came through me in my early thirties, during a time when I had been opened by circumstances that left me more vulnerable and raw and fragile than I had any idea I could be. It was my first “Dark Night of the Soul” and something that simply had to happen in order for me to evolve further. The title of the poem is a question. And the question is What Is It That You Were Given?

    What is it that you were given?
    I mean from the loss.
    After
    what was taken.
    That very thing you could never live without:
    the person
    or place;
    secret or circumstance.
    Now that It is gone
    and you can no longer call It foundation—

    what is it that you were given?

    You know, and I know this:
    there is a hollowing out.
    Something comes and opens you up

    right
    down
    the
    middle

    And from that moment on
    you are no longer immune to this world.

    You wake, you wander—
    every familiar now a foreign.
    You walk as through water
    until you make it back to your bed
    and finally, even there, your sheets,
    your own pillow’s scent—different—
    as if daily someone repaints your room,
    displaces something;
    disturbs a cherished memento.

    You see, sometimes we are emptied.

    We are emptied because Life wants us to know

    so
    much
    more

    Light.

     

    It’s not a very comfortable poem. I wasn’t sure what to feel once it came through as I sat reading it, tears streaming. But in that moment it felt like some Greater part of me that hadn’t yet fully come into this life, finally did. And it was as if all those precious fragments of light that had been separated and strewn across the universe through my grief were brought back together, and made into something New—albeit a bedraggled and bewildered New.

    Dear, Precious One—what is it you’ve been given, through your loss? In my monthly newsletter, I posed this question and invited readers to write to me with their story; their discoveries; the Gratitude found amidst the Grief. This process was not meant to open wounds, but to help to heal them; to empower each of us to name The Gifts, as difficult as that is sometimes, and in so doing Name our Highest Self again, pulling It from the rubble like a Phoenix rises from the ashes. I encourage you to spend even ten minutes in silence, just listening; just asking the question, and allowing the mind to quiet in its resistance until you hear a different voice; the softer voice of the heart. Then, put pen to paper or fingers to laptop keys and write, without judgment or editing. What is It That You Were Given?

    If we really are to know more Light and live our lives with yet more courage, and zeal and aligned in our own Truth, sometimes our Spirit knows what that will take—something the human would never knowingly agree to, I’m betting.

    At the beginning of this article I shared two words that summed up 2012 for me: The Opposite. But I’ll close by offering two words that just two days ago came into my life for the first time. These two words are Baruch Bachan (bay-roosh bay-shan).

    They mean, “the Blessings already Are.”

    – em claire

    (To contact em please write to her at: em@emclairepoet.com. To hear em claire read this poem, please click here.)

  • Do You Really Know Your Enemy?

    As teenagers, young adults, old adults, and at every age in between, we have encountered at least a few obstacles that have impeded our progress. Some call it a mere nuisance, while others, when driven to the extreme, have sworn it to be an eternal enemy. No matter what story we are looking at, there always seems to be an antagonist in our great adventure – someone or something that seems to set us back, holds us from achieving our greatest desires, and prevents us from being truly happy.

    Or so we thought.

    In The Storm Before the Calm, Neale asks us one of the Seven Simple Questions, which is, “Is it possible that there is something that we do not understand about ourselves, about our own life and its purpose, the understanding of which would shift our reality and alter our experience for the better, forever?”   There certainly is, and it is simply that we are not recognizing the humanity in our enemies as a further extension of ourselves.  Just as in everything that occurs in our lives, our “enemies” give us the potential to grow in our spiritual development as well – if we choose to.  If we choose to create new relationships, ones not based on hate, or loathing, or animosity, but in love, forgiveness, and growth, then we can create the New Cultural Story that our world so desperately needs. No matter who or what you consider your enemy to be, you and the opposing force you face are always for the same end goal:  to obtain a higher understanding of Who You Are.  Quite often, embracing the “enemy” is the next step to be taken.

    Though changing our relationship with our “enemies” may seem improbable, it is indeed possible. A change of heart and a change of mind can be seen in the incredible story of Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix.  A November 2012 edition of Spirit Magazine details this journey to its beginning in 1995, where Ples Felix’s teen grandson, Tony Hicks, had shot Azim Khamisa’s only son, Tariq Khamisa, dead in cold blood.  Despite his mournful situation, Azim Khamisa did not look for vengeance against the Felix family, but ultimately recognized that “there were victims at both ends of the gun.” In their 1995 meeting, Azim Khamisa should have certainly saw Ples Felix as part of “the enemy,” but with the higher guidance of love and forgiveness, both men recognized the loss that each other felt as a result of the incident, and were able to form a communal bond over that experience. From this recognition of humanity in one another, Khamisa and Felix co-founded the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, which teaches nonviolence and individual responsibility to at-risk teens across the world.  As a result, nearly 9 million teens worldwide have heard this message of forgiveness. If just these two men were able to look beyond their personal vengeances and create a new relationship entirely based on forgiveness, awareness, and unity, then what would happen if we did this with all of our “enemies”? Now that’s an Overhaul of Humanity if I’ve ever experienced one.

    We as teenagers and future adults need to become responsible enough to know that there is always more behind the story. What may seem to be our greatest adversary is most likely one of our greatest stepping stones of higher awareness. By understanding our interactions with our “enemies,” we can choose to consciously shift our beliefs and attitudes so that we can create a more meaningful relationship with them, the world, and ourselves. No matter what stage of our life we are in, there will always continue to be people that challenge our choices and well-being. Will you recognize them for their choices, for their understanding, for their own journey that now is ultimately apart of your journey too? Will you grow with them on that journey, and will you become even more of who you are?  As always, the choice is yours.

    (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • ‘Oneness’ does not mean ‘sameness’

    “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” – Mahatma Ghandi

    How is tolerance related to spirituality and parenting? One of the hallmarks of The New Spirituality is non-judgment.  How can you present that to your child, even as your own views may be judged by others as “wrong” and even blasphemous?

    Many of us have experienced intolerance because of our non-traditional spiritual beliefs, either from family, friends, or acquaintances. Those living in overtly religious areas can find it very difficult to be different from the mainstream. That is one of the reasons that the community aspect of religion has lasted so many years…the human desire to assemble and be with others like themselves. This is also one of the reasons that it can be difficult to engage in a non-traditional spiritual life…the lack of community. However, you can assemble your own community if you desire it; it may just look a little different than what you expect. Your community may be internet-based, such as The Global Conversation or the School of the New Spirituality; it may be found at spiritual retreats; or you may create it based on another aspect of your life – parenting, love of outdoors, etc.

    You may have felt the need for caution before divulging your world view. You may have felt ostracized as people in your area talk about their own ideas as if they are everyone’s values. You may have struggled with how to teach and celebrate your spiritual beliefs with your child so that he or she understands and embraces a relationship with God; while being careful not to cause him or her to feel uncomfortable or left out around other children. The truth is that intolerance is fear made manifest. People fear what they do not know or understand.  And so to keep that which they fear away from them, they put up walls of intolerance. Children, on the other hand, like to find commonalities. In trying to make connections, they often ask their parents, “Does that person believe the same things as us?” It can be disconcerting and disappointing to the child when the answer is, more often than not, no.

    Children are also sponges. They observe, hear, and internalize our attitudes as well as our fears and insecurities. Religious tolerance is one topic on which children learn from their parents, both how to react to others’ attitudes and how to treat others. You have no control over the amount of religious tolerance which is extended to you. Therefore, it can be beneficial to demonstrate tolerance toward others even if they are not showing the same to you. Helping your children feel secure in their own beliefs is one way to avoid taking other people’s attitudes, either positive or negative, personally. Assist your children in exploring their own connection to God and others. Demonstrate to your child how to be love and tolerance in the world instead of being afraid to speak your truth. Show respect to others and allow your child to learn about what others believe.

    Teaching your children the core principles within Conversations with God can be very helpful:

    There is no such thing as right and wrong.

    God talks to everyone all the time.

    Love is all there is.

    We are all one.

    These concepts help children understand that there are many paths to God and that no one way is the only way.  A deeper understanding and application of all 25 concepts help us to embrace Who We Really Are, how to feel confident in our connection to God and the Universe, and, as a result, how to feel secure in our understanding of the world. Through this acceptance of our connection, we cease to view ideas as competing and begin to assess the world differently, abandoning dynamics of inferiority/superiority and directing us to more effective questions such as “Does this thing/idea/choice/belief/action benefit me right now?” and “What can I do today to be a gift of love to the world?”

    Once we all begin viewing “beliefs” as merely part of the paintbrush with which we paint the canvas of our life – rather than as the hard-and-fast lines (rules) we have to paint within – notions of fear and intolerance will melt away.  All that will be left is Love!  We will collectively experience love of diversity, an easy acceptance of others, and a willingness to learn from one another. Instead of competing to be “right,” we will lift up and inspire each other to be our own personal bests.  Believe it or not, this can start today with what you teach your child about tolerance of others!

    (Emily A. Filmore is the Creative Co-Director of www.cwgforparents.com. She is also the author/illustrator of the “With My Child” Series of books about bonding with your child through everyday activities.  Her books are available at www.withmychildseries.com. To contact Emily, please email her at Emily@cwgforparents.com.)

  • Polio, Sex, and a Priest

    At first glance, seeing the words “polio,” “sex,” and “priest” together in a sentence suggests the beginning of what promises to be a dreadfully distasteful joke.  But I am here to tell you that the most-recent film I had the truest pleasure of viewing, The Sessions, while it is brimming with playful humor and wit, is no joke.

    This daring movie, which takes place in 1988, is based on the true life story of Mark O’Brien (John Hawkes), a man who spends his nights entombed in an iron lung and moves through his days being wheeled around on a gurney by one of his caretakers, all as a result of contracting polio at the tender age of seven years old, a debilitating disease which eventually left him unable to use all but three muscles in his body:  one muscle in his right foot, one muscle in his neck, and one muscle in his jaw.  Thanks to the efforts of a loving and devoted family, who chose to care for Mark at home instead of institutionalizing their beloved polio-stricken son, Mark soared past the grim 18-month life-expectancy statistics at the time and lived to be 49 years old.

    Mark’s spirit far surpassed the limitations of his frail body, earning him a graduate degree from UC Berkeley and a successful career as a celebrated poet and respected journalist, yet his Soul and his Body and his Mind yearned for the one thing that life had not given him:  an intimate sexual experience with a woman.  Even though Mark’s disease had weakened his muscles to the point where he had very little, if any, mobility or muscle coordination, he was still able to experience sensation in his twisted and fragile body, and he longed for the sensual touch of a woman, the passion of a physical connection, and the sensation of an orgasm that wasn’t simply a random, unprovoked, meaningless occurrence.

    Through his research into sexuality and the disabled, Mark was introduced to the idea of hiring a sexual surrogate to assist him with his first sexual experience.  Contemplating and internally struggling with the decision of whether or not to pursue this unusual path, a choice that would run counter to his Catholic upbringing, Mark sought the counsel of Fr. Brendan (William H. Macy), a priest in his church, who suddenly and unexpectedly found himself invited to take a closer look at his own truth, to question his own beliefs, and to consider the possibility of changing his own perspective.  While this emotionally tortured and physically paralyzed man lay vulnerably before him, asking if God would be upset if he had sex outside of marriage, Fr. Brendan offers to him, “In my heart, I feel like he will give you a free pass on this one.  Go for it.”

    Mark goes on to hire Cheryl Cohen Greene (Helen Hunt) as a sex therapist with whom he would share his first experience of sexual intercourse over a span of six sessions.   Their unconventional relationship transitions from a matter-of-fact sexual experience into one of mutual tenderness and self-realization.  This is not a movie about sex.  This is a movie about Love.  This is a movie about the journey of the Soul.  This is a movie about, as Conversations with God teaches us, understanding that your Truth comes from within, and that when you change the source of your Truth, you allow yourself to experience life in an entirely different way…in the way that it was meant to be.

    This film is raw and explicit, humorous and heart-breaking, inspiring and emotionally shocking, gutsy and tender.  If ever there was a movie that demonstrates that our lives are not about us, The Sessions would be it.  If ever there was a movie that reflected the infinite possibilities held within each and every one of us, it would be this one.

    This movie is currently showing in theaters around the world.  Save an evening to see a wonderful film that you will be grateful you brought into your life.

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If there is a book, movie, music CD, etc. that you would like to recommend to our worldwide audience, please submit it to our Managing Editor, Lisa McCormack, for possible publication in this space. Not all submissions can be published, due to the number of submissions and sometimes because of other content considerations, but all are encouraged. Send submissions to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com. Please label the topic: “Review”)

  • When everything changes…change everything

    (CA, a non-native English speaker, wrote a very long letter, and I am excerpting some of her content for the advice column.)

    CA, I understand that the real purpose of your letter was to get some answers to some of the larger questions of the day, centering around how the world is going to change with so much resistance to change.  That is a subject that I could speak to you about, one-on-one, extensively, but for the purposes of an Advice Column, I am going to focus on something else…how you are feeling about these things.

    CA, you used the words below as part of your description of the events the world is experiencing today:

    “.. as it is not part of my personality to engage in such conversations simply by fear of being categorized as illuminated or dangerous-

    Reactions are strong…resistance…doubt…catastrophe…vicious circle…how?…

    I feel very different from others in terms of convictions reactions behaviors since  early age so I stay discrete to avoid discrimination.”

    CA, I would like you to know that you are certainly not alone in feeling different.  You are not alone in feeling afraid and confused, and you are not alone in resisting change.  This is what our egos do to protect ourselves.  We stop having the conversations we really want to have because we are afraid of what other people think.  Attachment to family and friends is natural and strong. We are told, culturally, through religion and education, and in many more ways, that it is not possible and not proper for us to do anything that isn’t already acceptable. The problem is, when we do this, we ignore what we think.  I know it has been said so many times before, but loving ourselves is what comes first.  If we want to speak of things that could change the world into a better place, and don’t, we are depriving ourselves of our own voice, and depriving the world of the wisdom that just might have changed the world.   One voice really can do just that…change the world.

    Yes, it seems dramatic, but imagine if Jesus had kept silent, or the Buddha, or Gandhi, or Nelson Mandella…each only one voice, heard eventually by many.

    “I also read with great enthusiasm his article after election in your country as I am deeply convinced that if we do not share and care for the rest of the mankind and continue to build our society around the concept of separation we won’t go anywhere but to violence and despair for the majority of us. I read today that some readers accused him of mixing a spiritual role with politics, yet I think that this is exactly where we need to start as  society organization is today ruled by the economic and political sphere.”

    CA, see, you already know what you believe!  Now you get to choose to voice it or not.  It might not even be true that people will reject your ideas, as they did in the past.  It has been my experience that when I speak my truth, and speak it with kindness, as CWG suggests, I rarely get opposition…I may not get agreement, but I do not get opposition.  People do, however, walk away willing to think about what I have just shared with them.  I often find that others really do feel the same way I do, but are also afraid to speak what they really feel.

    I would suggest, also, that you be certain to understand that we are all doing the best we can, given the information we have about things.  When we know better, we do better.  One of the reasons we feel upset, after we know better, is that we think it is unfair that we have to behave better than everyone else!  It feels like quite a burden to be different than others…but I would suggest something else.  It might just be a burden lifted not having to be false to yourself.  Telling your own truth is actually incredibly liberating.

    “My understanding after all my readings is  that God sent us these Angels to allow us to experience what we have chosen to feel . But if I experience resistance, calomny , if I keep losing my job for unrational reasons with huge fear of financial precarity , how can I engage in changing the world with discussions?”

    Now, CA, you also get the chance to change your mind about how you feel about these things, and change your experience of them!  In “When Everything Changes, Change Everything,” it tells a little story about a rainy day, and how the same event can be experienced in very different ways.  Rain for the parade organizer was a disaster.  Rain for the farmer was a blessing!  Might these things in your life that are now calamities be viewed as opportunities?  Might they be you, on a soul level, asking you to reexamine your life, and your priorities?

    I know this sounds very cavalier, CA, and I know how frightening all of the life events you describe can be, but you do get to choose whether or not you are the parade organizer or the farmer.  This column will certainly not give you all of the answers you seek, but, hopefully it will give you some things to think about in your journey of finding your own answers.

    I believe that who we are in this world, and how we conduct our lives in this world, really does affect our world in ways that we will never understand.  I believe we must never deny our own voice, when it speaks our own truth, and that we all get to decide what that is.

    CA, if you haven’t already read the book “When Everything Changes, Change Everything,” I would recommend you do.  It can be read for free on the website listed below.  This book gives practical tools on how to change how we go through change.   It also has forums where you can discuss the book in relation to yourself and your journey.

    This world is sure changing like crazy right now, and the only thing we can really change is how we are in relation to that change.  You, however, are not alone, CA, in your journey through these times.

    Therese

    (Therese Wilson is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     


  • What is the case for secrecy? What is the case for privacy? How do you think the world would change if there were neither?

  • WORLD MOVING TO TOTALLY
    TRANSPARENT SOCIETY

    Should people’s “privacy” be protected, even if it allows them to get away with breaking the law? Even if it allows them to get away with murder?

    Should women be allowed to travel without their husbands being notified by the government?

    Should businesses be allowed to pay two different employers different wages for doing the same work in the same way in the same amount of time?

    Should anyone ever have “secrets” from anyone? And if so, why? Why is it so hard for human beings to simply live with the truth?

    These are the questions that are going to be placed before humanity in the years just ahead as technology races ahead of individuals’ ability to control it, and governments seize more and more power to use it to enter people’s “private” lives.

    A remarkable police case in Rhode Island in 2009 brings the case for transparency home in major ways, and in very clear ways. In that case, a woman had called emergency services at 911 to say that she had found her 6-year-old son was not moving that morning.

    An ambulance crew arrived at the woman’s apartment, found the child unconscious in his bed, and raced him to the hospital. A police officer who also responded to the call stayed behind for a moment, talking with the mother’s boyfriend, who was in the apartment at the time, as the child was taken to the hospital with the mother.

    The officer heard a cellphone beep in the kitchen, papers filed with a court said, and when he picked up the phone from the counter he saw a message: “Wat if I got 2 take him 2 da hospital wat do I say and dos marks on his neck omg.”

    The message appeared to be from the child’s mother to her boyfriend, court documents said. The man was taken to the police station for questioning, and his cellphone was seized.

    The boy died by nightfall, court records indicating that the cause of death was “blunt force trauma to the abdomen which perforated his small intestine,” according to press reports.

    Police then obtained search warrants for the cellphones of both the man and the child’s mother, as well as their relatives. In addition, they obtained records from the cellphone companies that provided carrier services to the phones in question, with records of phone calls and voice mail messages.

    But a judge in the case ruled almost three years later that police had no right to look at the phone without a search warrant. The phone, she said in her ruling, was not in plain view, nor did the owner of the phone give consent to have it searched. The boyfriend should be able to have a reasonable expectation that text messages to and from the child’s mother would not be seen or seized, the court ruled, and then threw out all the evidence that police had gathered with their warrants. The judge also suppressed evidence regarding the original text message that had drawn the police officer’s attention to begin with.

    That case is now on appeal to the Rhode Island supreme court, with the defendant remaining in custody during the appeal process.

    Meanwhile, in a far less serious, but nonetheless groundbreaking incident last week, a Saudi Arabian couple was traveling outside their country when the husband received a text message on his cellphone alerting him that his wife had left the country. Both the husband and the wife were surprised — and outraged — that the government had informed the husband of his wife’s travels without her permission or his request.

    They found out that in Saudi Arabia, when a woman presents her passport to border control agents, her “guardian” is immediately notified — whether he requested to be told or not.

    Every female in Saudi Arabia has a male “guardian,” or mahram. Traditionally this is a father, husband, or brother. The mahram can register with the country’s Interior Ministry to be notified if the woman over whom he has guardianship has traveled outside the nation’s borders. But apparently, as of last week, mahrams are now being automatically notified whether they registered and requested to be or not.

    This may not seem strange in a country where women are not given the right to drive (the only country in the world where this is true). They are also not allowed to go to school or hold a job without permission from their “guardian.”

    But the question of a mahram being notified by text message of the travels of the woman of whom he is the “guardian” raises larger issues within the context of the new world within which we now live — and are going to increasingly be encountering. The question is: What, if anything, is “wrong” with Total Transparency as a lifestyle? And, of course, the same kind of transparency would have to apply to men as well as women. Wives would then be notified of the whereabouts of their husbands at all times.

    Conversations with God says that in highly evolved societies there would be no secrets of any kind, and that all things would be known by everyone. Moreover, says CWG, highly evolved beings would have no need or desire for secrets or privacy of any kind.

    Total transparency in personal relationships, in governance, in business and industry, in commerce, and in all areas of life would be the standard practice.

    Prices and costs for goods and services, for instance, would be transparent, with businesses voluntarily placing two figures on their price tags: “Our Cost/Your Price.”

    Companies, likewise, would voluntarily pass around information sheets each month to all employees, listing the income and benefit packages of all workers, so that everyone would know to the penny what everyone else is getting for the services they are providing.

    What do you think? Assuming the standard of complete visibility was applied equally to all companies, agencies of government, and individuals (which, many would argue, will never happen…but, assuming that it did)…would you be willing to live in a society of Total Transparency?

    What “secrets” and “privacy” do you think people, companies, or governments should have a right to maintain…and why? What reason would anyone have to keep something a secret from anyone else? If all things were known by everyone, wouldn’t the world be a better place? Does WikiLeaks make you angry, or happy, that government maneuverings are becoming more and more revealed?

    Your comments…?