The Global Conversation

Tag: 2013

  • A “Dear James” letter

    I was born on the last day of the year.  So the annual transition of “out with the old and in with the new” feels especially pivotal to me as I reflect with gratitude upon what once was, I look forward with hope and anticipation for what is yet to come, and I explore more deeply the larger reason for my birth.  And, yes, I do make some “New Year’s Resolutions”; however, they have nothing to do with resolving to fit into last year’s pair of blue jeans.  And while more money flowing into my bank account rather than out of it would bring some much-needed financial relief, I will not be making that my top priority either.  Nor will I be committing to get a better job or setting my sights on traveling around the world sampling exotic foods.

    Part of the reason why I believe New Year’s Resolutions “fail” is because the purpose for which we enter into such agreements with ourselves has very little to do with the purpose of our lives.  I am sharing a letter I wrote to my 18-year-old son, as it captures the essence of how I feel about the arrival of a new year.  The gifts I have been given the opportunity to receive and give within the context of my relationship with my son have been some of the most profound and life-changing.  And I believe deeply that by allowing the gifts to flow through me to you, they become a gift to us all.

    “Dear James,

    As night gently falls on 2012 and the promise of a new dawn in 2013 hangs in the air, billions of people around the world will be resolving and committing to make changes in their life, hoping to stick to long-lasting resolutions that will finally deliver to them the things in life we all desire most — abundance, prosperity, better health, joy, security, happiness, and love — believing that this time, this year, their well-intentioned efforts will resemble more than simply a “to do” list for the first week of January.

    I wonder if you, too, feel that yearning, if you hear a beckoning to a higher calling, if you desire to make new choices with an eye on shaping and defining not just your experience for a particular year, but with an eye on shaping and defining the entire purpose of your life.  Ah, the purpose of life — the question that has perplexed scholars and religious teachers around the world, the question which has led countries into war and tested and stretched the fabric of every relationship we enter into, the question that is most looked at in the final moments of our physical being here on earth:

    What is the purpose of my life?

    My Beloved Son, I am here to share with you the answer.

    I will begin by sharing with you what the purpose of your life is not.  As my good friend, Neale, has shared many, many times, the purpose of life has very little to do, if anything, with “getting the girl, getting the car, getting the job, getting the house, getting the spouse, getting the kids, getting the better job, getting the better house, getting the promotion, getting the grandkids, getting the gray hair, getting the office in the corner, getting the retirement watch, getting the illness, getting the burial plot, and getting the hell out.”

    And so far, in the 46 years that I have been blessed to have on this earth, this has demonstrated itself to be true – life is not about any of those things.  I’ve had most of the things on that list, and some of them more than once.  And I am here to tell you that the purpose for my life was not realized or remembered by “getting” or “having” any one of them.

    So if life really isn’t about any of those things, then what is it about?

    This is what I know to be true:

    The purpose of your life is to create the purpose of your life.

    When you were a very young child, it mattered not to me whether you played baseball or joined Cub Scouts, whether you went swimming or read a book, or whether you ate pizza or spaghetti.  And now, as a young man who is living on his own, it matters not to me which career you choose or what area of the world you reside in, what you have for dinner, how you enjoy your spare time, or what kind of clothes you wear.

    Do not confuse “not mattering” with “not loving.”  My love for you is without conditions.  These choices would only matter to me if somehow the level of my love for you was attached to a particular outcome designed by me or hinged to a misguided idea that somehow you could fail in this Life game.

    I want for you what you want for you.

    And here is where it gets even better, James:

    God wants for us what we want for us.

    Society will tell you that in order to “earn” God’s love, you must be a certain way and do certain things.  Have you questioned this for yourself?  Have you wondered why a God who is “unconditionally loving” would place such conditions upon his love?  Have you dared to imagine a different kind of God?

    And if God wants for us what we want for us, and the purpose of our lives have nothing to do with what we have or what we get, what will the arrival of a new year mean to you?   What will you strive for?  What will you draw upon to ascribe meaning to the experiences in your life?

    Your life is an opportunity.  Within every occurrence, there is an opportunity for you.  And within every relationship, you are an opportunity for someone else.  Will you see those moments and embrace those gifts, both those that are being given to you and those you have to give?  As the world collectively and consciously welcomes the New Year, perhaps the largest number of people purposefully and simultaneously placing positive energy and intention into the world, how could our world not become a better place?  Where will you be in that process?  And WHO will you be in that process?

    What will you decide and what will you declare the purpose of your life to be, my beloved son?”

    What will the arrival of a New Year mean to you, my friends?  A new car?  More money?  Fitting in last year’s blue jeans?  Or perhaps at last the answer to one of life’s biggest questions:  What is the purpose of my life?

     (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team atwww.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • Lovingly Release the Old, Powerfully Invite the New

    Instead of answering a question this week, I thought I’d share a very powerful New Year’s ritual you may want to try to properly say goodbye to this significant year, and embrace the year ahead with open arms.  I often hear the phrases “good riddens” or “I’m so done with this year” at the end of each year, in people’s attempt to leave behind the old and start fresh.  What most people don’t realize, however, is that when you speak in such negative tones, you are actually creating more resistance around what you are trying to let go of and are basically inviting more of it into the next year.  So don’t do that!  Try the following instead 🙂 :

    On New Year’s Eve, set aside some alone time (or do this with someone you can easily share stuff like this with) to be with what has occurred in the last year, and tune into what you want to see in the next year.  Follow these steps:

    1.         Create your space.  Making this a ritualistic experience adds to the energy of what you are doing, and makes it more meaningful.  So light that candle, say a prayer, take deep breaths, burn incense, etc.

    2.         Properly say goodbye to 2012.  Take out a sheet of paper, and begin writing all that you are ready to say goodbye to from the last year and even prior to it, all of those things that you recognize have served their purpose and are no longer needed in your life.  I say “properly”, because in order to truly release something, it needs to be lovingly released.  In other words, rather than saying “I’m so done with that” with an edge of regret or disdain, shift your energy to being grateful for the presence of this thing in your life, and the acceptance that it was there for a reason and there was a gift in it.

    3.         Lovingly release.  In a safe way, burn the piece of paper, or tear it up, bury it whatever works for you, and as you do so give thanks to God, the Universe or whomever it is you appeal to with such things.

    4.         Celebrate!  When you are finished, it is so important to celebrate.  Not only does it lock in the experience, but it is an acknowledgment of this loving, important thing you just did for yourself.  Celebrating can happen in many different ways; maybe pouring a glass of champagne or eating some decadent chocolate, or perhaps taking a luxurious bubble bath or going out to celebrate with a loved one.

    5.         Powerfully invite the new.  On New Year’s Day, or as close to it as you can get, take some time to tune into and get clear on all that you’d like to invite into your life for 2013.  Again, create your space and take out a sheet of paper writing out all of those things you’d like to see show up, both physical and non-physical things within yourself you’d like to see emerge.  This can be done as a list, a letter to yourself, a drawing, etc.  When you’re finished, seal it in an envelope and keep it somewhere safe that you’ll remember to take it out and read it next December (it helps to mark a reminder on your calendar).

    6.         Act as if and walk your talk.  Don’t simply sit back and wait for these things to show up.  In the days, weeks and months that follow, consciously choose to think, speak and act in accordance with the things you wrote down for 2013.  Set some goals and milestones, hire a coach to inspire you and keep you on track, enlist a good friend to help hold you accountable.

    Wishing you happiness, joy, peace, love and fulfillment in the New Year, and in this process of becoming more of Who You Really Are.

    Nova

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

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