The Global Conversation

Tag: addict

  • All Paths lead to home

    A person named “Wendy” wrote to tell me of an ad she saw on television. In this ad the person states, “I was an addict for 10 years, now I am not.”  Wendy wanted to know how could someone claim such a thing when everyone knows, “once an addict, always and addict.”  Here was my reply:

    There are many paths to enlightenment and there are many ways to recover from addiction. I, for one, do not call myself an addict anymore.  I find that labels tend to attract their own definition into our reality.  I do say that I am a person in long term recovery from addiction. The distinction is that I am fully aware of the power of the disease of addiction and the cunning nature of the human mind. I have accepted that I have little to no control over mind and mood altering chemicals when they are in my system. Therefore, I do not partake in the lifestyle or activities that include drugs and alcohol in them.

    So, for this person to say they are not an addict doesn’t concern me. A tiger always has stripes though even if we change its name. Watching the behavior and actions of another is the true definition of who they are.  If they say they are not an addict and live a clean life they are in recovery.  If they say they are not an addict and continue to do drugs and alcohol and exhibit the behaviors associated with addiction then they are just in denial.

    Recovery to me is more than abstinence. It is a way of life, a way that includes self discovery, a softening of the personal agenda of life and a growing desire to lift others to greater heights. Recovery is about examining our behaviors and our beliefs and bringing them into alignment with who we wish to be. Recovery is a decision to face life on life’s terms.

    So how do you help someone who is in denial about their addiction?

    Well, if they are still exhibiting addictive behaviors you refuse to play the game.  You speak from a place of authenticity and you tell them your truth. In Conversations with God it is said that “Yet despots cannot be allowed to flourish, but must be stopped in their despotism. Love of Self, and love of the despot, demands it.”

    Addiction and despotism are of course not the same thing, yet the goal should be the same for all of us who claim to be loving beings.  We should desire for each person to experience themselves in the next highest version of the grandest vision ever held.

    Being vocally unwilling to enable the addict and refusing to take part in the lies, deception, and depravity of the disease is the best way to help someone who is experiencing it.  They may cast you out of their life, but the pain of turning away someone they love for a substance will eat away at their conscience.  Pain stacked up on top of pain will drive the addict to the tipping point we refer to as “the bottom.”  The bottom is the place where the pain of using the substance is greater than the pain of facing up to who we have been.

    The 12-Steps of anonymous programs work for some and not for others.  There are other methods of recovery that work as well.  Desire to recover and change is what it all boils down to.  I am not going to advocate programs that claim to be able to help people modify their usage. I personally feel that is a path that all addicts have tried on their own with no success.

    Alcohol is not something that is needed our useful to the human body. Anyone who claims to truly love themselves would never ingest even a drop of alcohol.  I also believe the same to be true for other drugs.  A person who is working on becoming more self aware, and returning to love, would be best served by being mindful food and chemicals they put into their bodies.

    I would like to close this article with the “new Gospel” of CwG.

    We are all one. Ours is not a better way, it is merely another way.

    (Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist.  He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, recovery coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery.  Kevin has a passion for holistic living, personal awareness training, and physical meditation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)

     

     

     

  • The war on drugs

    (This week’s Addiction & Recovery column is hosting a guest article written and contributed by Mary Warner.)

    If only the symptoms of a disease are treated, the victim may feel better for a while, but the symptoms will eventually return because the disease was not cured.
    One cannot cure the dis-ease of illegal drug use by trying to eliminate drugs. The cause must be found and eliminated. “The real question is why are millions of people so unhappy, so bored, so unfulfilled that they are willing to drink, snort, inject, or inhale any substance that might blot out reality and give them a bit of temporary relief?” (Ann Landers, syndicated columnist)

    The cause can be discovered by talking respectfully and nonjudgmentally to drug users and listening to how they feel (perceiving the feelings behind the words) and to what they believe.

    The cause and cure can be discovered by caring and by putting ourself in another’s place, imagining what we would do if we had the same experiences, the same educational background, and the same beliefs as the illegal drug user and then treating others as we would want to be treated if we were in someone else’ shoes.

    Drug abuse by young people could be eliminated by respecting our children, paying attention to them, treating them the way we want them to treat us, and educating them about using drugs – telling them what to expect, letting them know the consequences of their actions (aside from being punished) and trusting them to make the right decision, and by setting the example that we want them to follow.

    Children learn the right way to live by watching the behavior of the older people whom they respect and look up to and following the example that is set for them. If they see these people using cold medicine, painkillers, tranquilizers, sleeping pills, diet pills, alcohol, and tobacco, they learn that using drugs is the right thing to do.

    If children are not trusted to think for themselves, after having been told what to expect, the consequences of their actions, and after observing the right example set for them by their respected elders, they feel powerless. They may deliberately use something that they know will harm them. They might think that if they do, then at least they will feel powerful and accepted for a moment, or they won’t care, or they will hope that someone will understand how they feel and make their life all right for them.

    A feeling of powerlessness often leads people to rebel and deliberately choose the very thing they have been told to not choose (at best) or it leads to violence. It has been said that over half of the murders committed in this country are committed by people between the ages of 14 and 21.

    The cause of the dis-ease of selling drugs is the mistaken belief that money and material things will bring power, happiness, and satisfaction. This belief is the result of an education that is lacking in spiritual values, such as the kind of education that is forced upon children in public schools. The belief is further fed by advertisements and TV commercials.

    Making it illegal to sell drugs is not a cure, obviously. It makes the problem worse, just as it did with alcohol prohibition, by creating the opportunity for criminal hangs to make huge profits. Then gangsters kill each other (and many innocent bystanders) to protect their territories/markets and pay police and judges to not prosecute them. They adulterate their drugs in order to make more money, consequently causing injury and death to the users who will not protect themselves or get help because they know they are breaking the law and are afraid of punishment.

    Putting people in prison for using drugs is not a cure, obviously. According to an inmate at the Federal Correctional Institution in El Reno, Oklahoma, drugs are readily available in prisons.

    Punishing people for trying to make it in life the best way they know how – trying to pursue happiness – is against the Declaration of Independence and is inhumane. “If even a small fraction of the money we now spend on trying to enforce drug prohibition were devoted to treatment and drug rehabilitation, in an atmosphere of compassion, not punishment, the reduction in drug usage and in the harm done to users would be dramatic.” (Milton Friedman, Nobel Prize Winner, Economics)  Today’s illegal drugs were legal before 1914. Cocaine was in the original recipe for Coca-Cola. Drugs were not a problem. Addiction was treated as a health issue and not a crime.

    (Mary Warner is an aging (or perhaps “aged”) flower child/”hippie.” She lives with her husband in a 420-square-foot cabin in the woods with a black and white fur-ball and a black lab where she is creating a garden paradise.)

  • The uphill climb from the bottom

    There I was, walking away from my family and towards the detox ward of the hospital. Overwhelming fear, coupled with a hangover and sense of humiliation, weighing on my thoughts and my body.  So many questions running through my head: What is this going to be like?  What are they going to do to me?  How can I get out of this?  Where would I go?  What have I gotten myself into?  I was walking into the complete unknown, and I was afraid.

    I remember very clearly the first thing that took place.  I was greeted by the doctor who ran the detox.  His name was Dr. D’ Amico.  He explained that I would be wearing the typical hospital gown; you know the one that is open in the back and ties around your waste.  He gave his reason for this: “You are sick.  You are suffering from a disease; therefore, you will be treated as any other person who is sick.”  This was my first real introduction to addiction as a disease.

    After changing into the hospital gown, the nurse took all of  my possessions, shoes and socks, clothing, and cigarettes.  There was no smoking in the hospital detox.  I was led to my room, basically an open area where there were two beds sectioned off from the rest of the hospital by only a curtain.  The curtain remained open all the time.

    I was tired and worn down.  Looking back, I felt relief to be out of the cycle of addiction and the pace of the life I had created.  A nurse came to my bed, bringing medication.  And I was told that because alcohol was one of the drugs I was withdrawing from, I had to take anti-seizure medicine.  Alcohol withdrawal is the most dangerous drug to withdraw from.

    My second day in detox was more challenging.  I was already feeling much better after a good night’s sleep and nutritious meals.  Feeling better sounds like a good thing, but for a person who is addicted, feeling good and healthy typically means that it is okay to start using again.  And that is exactly what I was thinking:  “I don’t need this.  I can do it myself.”  I don’t remember saying that, but I would not be surprised if I did, as I know I was thinking it!

    My addictive behavior did not end in the detox.  After the second day, when the nurse would deliver the anti-seizure medicine, I would store it under my tongue until she left the room.  I would quickly remove it and hide it under my pillow for future use.  I was saving it up so I could take more than one and hopefully get high.  Looking back on this behavior reminds me that I was not just a “normal” kid who liked to party a little too much.

    It was pre-arranged that I would go directly from detox to a 28-day inpatient treatment facility.  This is a very common procedure, because by the seventh day of detox, I was feeling on top of the world physically and mentally.  I was very resistant to going to a rehabilitation center.  (Most of the people who do not go directly to rehab relapse and begin using again shortly after their release from the hospital.)  After a brief intervention with my parents and the doctor, I agreed to proceed as planned.

    It is my hope that in the telling of my personal story here someone reading this will have a greater understanding of how to navigate early recovery either for them or for a loved one.  Alcoholics and drug addicts will convince themselves and everyone else that they just need to break the cycle of using and they will be fine.  I am here to tell you it just isn’t so.  Abstinence is not recovery!  And except for extremely rare cases, abstinence does not maintain.  For those who do simply abstain from using their drugs of choice without employing some form of self-improvement program, long-term recovery is much less likely to happen.  It is the addictive behavior that must be addressed.  The drugs are simply the symptom of a far greater issue.  I was not plotting my next binge when I was saving up the medication for “one last high”;  I was exhibiting the behavior of an addict.

    Addictive personalities do not simply go away with time.  It is debatable whether or not they ever go away.  From my personal experience in recovery, irrational thinking, obsessions, desire for instant gratification do not disappear from the recovering addict’s life.  What does go away is the obsession to use drugs and alcohol.  It does dissolve immediately.  For some, it can take years.  But the transformation does take place.

    The motto of the recovery community is “One day at a time.”  Indeed, this is the basis for most programs that deal with addictions.  And what a wonderful way to live life it is.  When we seek to keep things simple and we stop projecting our thoughts into the future or wishing the past was different, we remember that all we have is the breath we are taking this very moment of now.  We have the power to change who we are right now, but not by fretting over the past or fearing what may come next.  When we live one moment at a time in the awareness that the past is the past and the future is unwritten, we find our peace.  This is recovery.

    (Kevin McCormack C.A.d Is a certified addictions professional, as well as a Conversations with God Life Coach.  Kevin is a practicing Auriculotherapist, and a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net.  Kevin will be presenting at the CwG Recovery Retreat in Medford Oregon June 23rd – June 26th.  You can visit his website at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com  To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)