The Global Conversation

Tag: alignment

  • My Dream Isn’t Taking Off, Do I Give Up?

    “I am in need of some advice, hope and guidance.  I have read all of the books in the Conversations with God series which are truly remarkable. The trouble I have is I have hit the proverbial rock bottom in every part of my life, except my beautiful wife and daughter. I decided to leave my job after 19 years in a large company where I had worked my way up to the top because my boss was not the man I thought he was and had become greedy, money and power driven. This was at the expense of employees, clients and staff’s families. I decided that I had to make a change and moved out with the support of my wife and family.  Shortly after I wrote a book geared towards helping others and gave public talks to empower people to live their true nature and find their own passion and purpose.  The challenge is 6 months later it is not taking the way I expected and I am running out of money to pay the bills and support my family. I feel like I have failed my family and myself. I am feeling despondent and lost and I don’t know how not to be at this point. Please help as I truly wish to make a difference in the world with people, and the last thing I want to do is give up on my dream. ”

    Edward, Vancouver 

    Hi Edward,

    First of all, I’d like to applaud you for your integrity in making the choice to leave a toxic work environment, and choosing to listen to and act on your own truth in that situation.  I’d also like to commend you for taking the opportunity to hone in on your purpose and boldly take it to the world – a very courageous act, and I get that you are very good at what you do.

    I also get that it’s scary to take such a risk, especially when you’re not seeing the results you’d like as quickly and you’ve got a family depending on you.  And it’s hard when you feel lost, confused, and unsure of what to do next.  With that said, I have some thoughts for you, some directions to point you in.

    When we find ourselves in a place of deep worry, fear, anxiety, doubt, etc., it is impossible to find/create a viable solution from that place – in other words, you can’t solve a problem from inside the problem.  In order to access the answers that are inside you, or from God, for that matter, you need to raise your vibration a bit, get connected and in alignment again, which means stepping away from the worry.  Worry is like praying for what you don’t want, and although it’s certainly understandable why we as humans do it, it is completely unnecessary in that it serves no purpose.  So, what I would suggest regarding this and before you make any major decisions, is to take some steps to get quiet, reconnected to that place inside of yourself that knows.  That place inside of you that wrote your wonderful book.  What that looks like depends on you, but a few suggestions are meditation, practicing daily gratitudes, and journaling.  Another hugely impactful practice that in my opinion is vastly under-utilized is making room for play, fun and enjoyment every day. Often times those of us who venture out on our own, whose priority is to serve others, forget to implement this part on a consistent basis and experience burnout, which leads to worry, fear and anxiety taking the lead.  And that isn’t good for anyone.

    However you decide to do it, connecting within is something that is vital to do regularly, as in every day. Because the fact that you show up for yourself in this way each and every day provides the space for you to go within and connect to the truth of your being, and has the added benefit of making you less “shakeable” to external circumstances and allowing you to stay clear on your path more often than not.

    The other thing I want to point you to is in regards to the story you are telling about yourself and your life.  I sense that you still have some strong feelings about what happened with your former boss, that there may be some unfinished business there that could be holding you back.  What can you do to release that story, the story of your horrible boss doing unspeakable things within his company, to you and to your fellow employees?  The story of you as the victim and he as the villain?  That’s not to say that it isn’t all true, or to discount the pain and struggle you experienced within this context.  It’s to point to the fact that it may be time to tell a new story, a new truth, one where there are no victims or villains, and where you are truly in control of your experience.  As you probably already know but may have temporarily forgotten amidst the intense circumstances of the past months and maybe even years, our thoughts and words are creative, and as long as we keep having the same thoughts and using the same words about the experience we are not happy with, they’ll keep coming.  Here’s a wonderful exercise I learned from another CWG Coach to help you do this:

    ~ Write a letter to your boss, one you will never send, expressing everything you feel without censoring it or holding back, because it will never be sent.  Write a second draft, where you can do some “editing”, choosing the language and sentiments that accurately convey how you’d like to feel about the whole thing.  This second letter is the opportunity to heal the issues and move on.

    And finally, don’t give up on your dream, your purpose.  We need people like you in this world.  And although 6 months may seem like a long time when you’ve got so much pressure to succeed, it is too short of a period of time to give up.  Your priority as a light-worker, as someone who is clearly here to serve and assist others on their life journeys, is to maintain your inner being, your alignment, your connection to All That Is.  It is in the focusing on your “being” first and allowing the “doing” to follow that the key lies.  The rest will come, and in the meantime there are many ways to access/create income now; get into alignment first and I’m willing to bet some ideas will pop up for you.

    I’ll leave you with this: remember that before every break-through, occurs a break-down.  That is, a breaking down of old systems, beliefs, and patterns that no longer serve us, so that they may be re-built to support the next highest version of the grandest vision you ever held about Who You Really Are.  The light is coming, Edward.

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Following Through on Things That Are Important to You

    I have a book in me that is ready to come out, it’s something I’ve been wanting to do ever since I was in my early twenties and knew I wanted to be of service to this planet.  I feel like I am going to burst with enthusiasm and joy for this project, yet I am also stuck because I am terrified it won’t happen and I have no idea how to go about this process. How do I allow this book to come to fruition without getting in my own way, as in trying to talk myself out of it, putting it off, staying inspired, etc.?  This is so important to me, and I don’t want to lose this momentum I feel.

    Sam, Colorado

    Hi Sam,

    Congratulations, that’s great!  And I get where you’re at – oftentimes in the same instance that brilliance and inspiration strike, fear, doubt and confusion as to how to proceed also enter the picture.  This is of course normal but it doesn’t have to be your long-term experience with this project that’s so near and dear to your heart. I happen to have a client who is well into the writing process of his own book that is bursting out of him, but he started right where you are.  While I’m no expert in book-writing, I do have some ideas and suggestions that have been very helpful for him, myself, and many others I know.  Below are some tips that will hopefully help you out in remaining in alignment with this project, maintaining your energy and passion for it, and of course, help you finish it.  Furthermore, these tips can be applied to anything you are working on that is of importance to you and you’d like to see come to fruition.

    First of all, ideas, inspiration, motivation, and creativity all come from a place of alignment, or being centered and connected.  When we’re in alignment, we have access to everything we need to create; when we’re out of alignment, we can only see about 6 inches in front of our faces and have very limited access (i.e. we feel uninspired, unmotivated, at a loss as to what to do, etc.).  My advice would be to make being in alignment your top priority throughout this process (and all of life, really!), especially before each and every time you sit down to write.  For example, many authors I know meditate, exercise or go for a walk outside, pray, practice gratitude or do all of the above before sitting down to write.  It raises their vibration and gets them in a state of flow and receiving, and good things always come from that!

    A great tip that was given to me by a certain best-selling author you may have heard of, this guy Neale Donald Walsch (wink wink), was to set sort of a sacred time to write as well as a minimum of time you are going to write for each day.  For example, writing in the morning for at least 15 minutes a day.  If you end up writing for longer than that, great, if just the 15 minutes, then that’s great, too.  He also gave me the tip to never stop at the end of a chapter or paragraph, or even at the end of a sentence for that matter.  Give yourself a place to easily pick up from.  I thought that was brilliant.  No wonder this guy has published so many books, eh?

    Finally, one thing I have done as well as the client I mentioned earlier, is to give yourself a “writing retreat”, as in remove yourself from the everyday distractions and go somewhere simply to write for a few days.  For example, my next writing retreat is 2 days at hotel where I will also pamper myself and spend some time relaxing (that’s how I happen to get my greatest inspiration and work done).  In other words, make this fun and pleasurable!  Carry that initial energy of excitement, enthusiasm, joy and passion forward as much as you can.

    Can’t wait to read your book, Sam, be sure and let us know when it’s done!

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

    I am a 28-year-old Indian woman.  I am quite attractive and a very loving person but have never been in a romantic relationship.  For some reason, the people whom I have fallen for have never reciprocated my love.  In India, marriages may also be arranged by your friends or family.  I really want to have love in my life, but I want it to come naturally. I do not want to look for a partner or go for an arranged marriage. I am really confused as to whether I should make a conscious effort, like joining a matrimonial site, or do I wait for love to come by?  I really can’t imagine getting married to a person whom I do not love…please guide.

    Pilar, India 

    Hi Pilar,

    First of all, thank you for reaching out, for listening to the voice of your soul and being brave enough to ask if there is another way to find love that is more in alignment with who you really are, as well as how to find it.  The answer to your question of whether or not to go actively searching for it or wait for love to come by is…neither.  Instead, here are two other approaches that I’m going to offer you today, Pilar:

    One of the greatest messages from Conversations with God is that if there is something you’d like to experience in life, the quickest way to do so is to give it away, give it to another.  The very act of doing so is a statement to the Universe that it is yours to give, and in the actual giving of it, you are indeed experiencing that thing you said you wanted to experience.  For example, for someone who wants to experience being rich, sharing what little they do have with someone who has even less can produce a tremendous experience of being rich.  Now, in the situation of intimate love, this can be kind of challenging.  It doesn’t necessarily mean going around telling everyone you see that you’re in love with them (unless, of course, that serves you).  Instead, it means fully expressing all kinds of love – to your family, your friends, your pets, your fellow humans walking their own path.  It also means giving yourself the experience of being in love with you.  Treat yourself with the same love, appreciation, respect, kindness and tenderness that you would your significant other.  Take the time to express that love to yourself, through loving thoughts, words, and deeds.  You see, what happens when you do this is that your focus is shifted towards love itself, versus the perceived lack of it in your life, and via the process of creation, you can’t help but call forth more of it into your life.

    The second approach is an approach that I would offer, no matter what the external challenge or problem, is to first of all stop worrying about how to make it happen (in other words, get out of the energy of the problem, as no solution is ever available in the same energy the problem exists in), and to go within and focus on your own alignment.  Neale calls this your “soul’s agenda” and offers the powerful question, “What does this thing (problem, choice, situation, etc.) have to do with my soul’s agenda?”  When you are living from your soul’s agenda, or living from a place of alignment, everything else quite literally comes together.  It works itself out.  In other words, love finds you, you don’t have to find it.  By the consistent attention to and raising of your own vibration, you open the door to allowing all of the things you desire in life to come through, and, in the process, you get to experience all of those feelings you thought you could experience only in the having of something external to you.  You get to experience them right here, right now.  It’s incredible.

    So what does that look like, this alignment thing, or how do you tune into your soul’s agenda?  By focusing your attention inward, through meditation, journaling, practicing daily gratitude, whatever you resonate with that allows you to connect to that source within.  But here’s the key:  do so consistently.  Sometimes even the simple posing of the powerful question “what does this have to do with my soul’s agenda?” or even “what would my soul do here?”, without consciously trying to answer it, is enough to shift your attention, and the answer appears right exactly when it needs to.

    Try the above approaches, Pilar, and much love to you in the process.

     (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

  • Is Selfish a Good Thing?

    My friends and some of my family members think I am selfish because I am honest with them when I don’t want to do something or attend a function I’m invited to. They tell me I only think of myself, I only do things for myself, and that if I’m not careful I’m going to find myself all alone one day soon.  I’m conflicted because I don’t want to hurt their feelings, or be disliked or alone, but I don’t feel I’m in the wrong for speaking my truth.  How do I make them understand?

    Julia, London

     

    Hi Julia,

    I’ve heard it be said that selfishness is the vibrational alignment with self, and that is never a bad thing.  I happen to see selfishness as a good thing, actually, when used in the right context.  Everyone is responsible for themselves, and most unhappiness comes from the belief that we are responsible for the happiness and well-being of others.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful thing to bring happiness and well-being to others, by doing so we receive the same thing.  But the distinction lies is whether or not we are responsible to do so.  We’re not.  Each soul on this planet came here with its own agenda, to experience particular things, and each soul knows what it’s doing.  Therefore, being “selfish”, or as I look at it, paying special attention to the soul’s desire or agenda, is not a bad thing at all.

    So what if doing what’s best for you, or “being selfish” appears to hurt another?  I’ve also heard it be said to “speak your truth, yet soothe your words with peace.”  Take a moment to evaluate how you are speaking your truth to others.  Do you sometimes come across as harsh, indignant, condescending maybe?  If so, ask yourself how you can soothe your words with peace when expressing what you desire.  In terms of “making them understand”, well, I’m afraid that’s just not possible, Julia.  We can’t make anyone do anything – remember, it is not we who are responsible for the reaction of another, that is completely up to them.  But there is great comfort and peace in knowing that you have been true to yourself, you have spoken your truth with great kindness and compassion, and have chosen to show up as authentically you, regardless of how another chooses to react.  There is also great freedom in allowing another their own experience.  It’s one of the best gifts you can give another.

    Also keep in mind that when people are upset with you, or don’t like something you are doing, you are giving them the gift of deciding who they are in respect to that.  And they’re reaction to you gives you the same opportunity.  And finally, sometimes we simply “grow in a different direction” with some people in our lives, when the purpose of your relationship has been served.  You may want to take a moment to ask yourself the difficult question of whether or not that applies to some of the people you are referring to.  And if this continues to be in an issue, this lack of understanding one another, that is, with certain people who you’d like to keep in your life, consider getting some counseling or a mediator involved to help close that gap in understanding.

    This isn’t an easy topic, this business of relating with those closest to us, it’s always a bit of a hot button.  But remember that you are responsible for YOU and only you, and if you are making choices from a place of authenticity, honesty and alignment, than you’re doing pretty darn well as far as I’m concerned.  Hope this helps.

    P.S. You may want to read about the 5 Levels of Truth, covered in “When Everything Changes, Change Everything”.  It offers great clarity around all of this speaking our truth to others business.

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)