My family and I just spent a week in a big city that we had never been to before. We were there to help our 19-year-old son move from where he went to school to the city where he will be looking to start his career. Much like the drama found in reality shows, we felt the stress of having to search for a place that was available, connect with the person who was renting, get the background checks done, and move his belongings with enough time to catch our scheduled flight back to where we live, which is clear across the country.
Our trip began with a thorough cleaning of a bachelor apartment and the packing of all its contents. Once we were packed, it was time for our 7-hour drive to the destination where our son would pursue turning his passion into a profession. The one-week time frame had now dwindled down to 4 days, and we had only a few leads which we found on Craigslist. As we drove around to check out these leads, we quickly realized how precious our time was and how fast it was going by.
The odds started to appear to be stacked against us. We did not know the area at all. We had a budget we had set which was a random number we had all agreed on prior to even knowing what the market value was. We were following directions from our Smart Phone map programs and a GPS unit, all of which wanted us to take traffic-jammed freeways just to travel short distances.
As a group, our frustration began to build. We had been driving around for four hours and had only seen three properties. Taking a look at the reality of our situation, we had decided it would be wise to take two cars so we could cover more ground. Although this was not the way we had wanted our trip to go, it was not very long after this decision that it became clear things were exactly the way they were supposed to be.
I knew in my heart that we would succeed in our mission. This was never really in question for me. What I failed to keep in my mind was the bigger picture that is always present. Think small and you will surely experience little results. The bigger picture always includes engaging all people on a deeper level than “what can I get from you.” True happiness seems to always come from a place of mutual energy exchange.
We had not kept in our awareness that all of our human tasks, no matter how big or how minor, revolve around one very important thing: our relationships with others. Our relationships with all people are the single-most important aspect of the contextual field we are here to experience. When we bring the energy of Oneness to each and every interaction with others, the heavens rejoice and the treasure chests are opened.
Here is what we began to do that changed everything: We made a decision to not go it alone. We began to engage strangers in our plight. As we were driving around, we saw “for rent” signs and would call them. If the person did not have a property that was suitable to us for one reason or another, we ended the phone call by asking a uniting question: Do you know of any apartments or people we could contact that may have something for us to consider?
This simple question seemed to bring out the best in everyone we posed it to. Every single person took the conversation to the next level. We had simple suggestions like “try this part of town” or “stay away from this particular area.” A few said, “I do not, but here is the number of someone who might.”
We had one person whose name was Harold go way above and beyond by not only giving us three great leads right away, but also called us back the next morning and gave us two more!
Not one of those we engaged on our journey did we meet face to face, nor did we have any prior relationship with them. They had no financial reason to help us, as they were also landlords looking to rent their own properties. So why did they do so? Why did they take time out of their busy schedules to help us, someone they didn’t know and would likely never meet?
I think I know why. I believe that we all want to help others and have an internal and eternal desire to be of service to Humanity. I feel they were as empowered and enriched by helping us as we were by their generosity. I know, in the core of my being, that we all want to give freely our gift, and we are just waiting for the invitation to do so. Great joy always seems to involve doing something for another without the thought of what is in this for me.
So how does this article end up in the Addiction in Recovery column?
Recovery only works when we engage those who have gone before us and ask them to share their experience, strength, and hope with us. The founders of the Twelve Step method knew right away recovery could not take place without the support of those who could relate to the plight of the addicted.
Addiction is a solitary disease. Many start off using in a social setting in order to fit in. At first, the disease seems to be the cure for all of our ills. We become social and outgoing. Ironically and slowly, the disease progresses and takes all of that away again. We become lonely, isolated, and avoided. Sick, tired, and dying, we are faced with the decision: Do I continue to use and kill myself slowly? Or do I reach out for help and give someone the opportunity to experience their purpose, helping others?
Would you like to be part of a group of recovering people who share a similar belief system? Join us for the CwG on Recovery Path to Peace retreat in Medford Oregon June 23 – June 26.
Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional. He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery. You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin.Spiritualmentor@gmail.com or call 407-808-6431.