Tag: Bullying

  • Okay, there’s no right or wrong. But is this working?

    The internet, and more particularly social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter, has become a cyber playground for people to connect and share and converse from all corners of the globe.  Millions of human beings every day are uploading photos of their children’s accomplishments, sharing nuggets of inspiration and wisdom, trading recipes with their circles of friends, and reuniting with high school classmates from days gone by.

    However, there is a darker side to this vast cyber world.  As wonderful and informative and entertaining as the internet can be, there are people who have chosen to use this far-reaching resource to hurt and shame others in what has been labeled as “cyber bullying.”  This behavior is especially prevalent among young adolescents and teenagers, many of whom are moving through some of their most vulnerable and uncertain years in life.  The level of ridiculing and tormenting experienced by some of these teens has resulted in grave consequences – depression, loneliness, and even suicide.

    But what is even more alarming is when bullying stories surface about people like Charles Fowler.  What makes this story especially disturbing is that Mr. Fowler happens to be an assistant vice principal in a South Carolina school, who, while at a neighborhood Wal-Mart store, snapped a picture of a young 6-year-old girl, a kindergarten student, uploaded it to Facebook, and captioned the unsolicited photo with these words:  “Honey Boo-Boo in Wal-Mart.”

    Honey Boo-Boo is the star of a popular reality show on television which features a family who manages to encompass negative socioeconomic stereotypes, obesity, teen parenthood, large families, and child beauty pageants all in an exaggerated effort to “entertain” its viewers.  And Mr. Fowler’s attempts to draw some kind of crude connection between these two youngsters by posting this picture online has not only devastated and embarrassed this little girl and her family, it has also cost him his job.  He resigned after hundreds signed a petition for his termination and the school district placed him on administrative leave.

    This particular story caught my attention because not a day goes by that I don’t see repeated examples of people making fun of others on Facebook, publicly ridiculing and taunting someone else because their clothes are too tight, their teeth are crooked, their body is too big or too small, their words are different, the color of their skin is too dark or too light, or simply because some aspect of who they are falls short of someone else’s idea of worthiness or acceptability.

    Of course, there are those who think Mr. Fowler losing his job over this event is an overreaction, that his behavior does not deserve such a swift consequence.  What do you think?  Harassing and intimidating behavior or just good ‘ol fun?  Do we hold the people who place themselves in positions of leadership to a higher standard – teachers, principals, ministers, etc.?  Is that “higher standard” one we should all volunteer to be accountable for?  Why or why not?  What is missing in someone’s life such that they would actually engage in bullying a 6-year-old little girl for a laugh or two?  What is missing in a person’s life who thinks this kind of behavior is funny?   And while this may appear to be the act of one person, what responsibility do we all have for creating this situation?

    What will it take to get to the point when people stop subscribing to exploitive tabloid magazines and “liking” the “People of Wal-Mart” Facebook pages and sitting in front of our television sets binge-watching episodes of “Honey Boo-Boo” and “Duck Dynasty”?   Will society eventually grow weary of emotionally capitalizing on other people’s differences?

    Conversations with God says there is no such thing as right or wrong.  There is only what works and what doesn’t work, given what it is we are trying to do.

    So my question to you is this:  Is this working?  And what is it we are actually trying to do?

    (Lisa McCormack is a Feature Editor at The Global Conversation and lives in Orlando, Florida.  To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • Remembrance

    Having been there myself and having met so many others who are there as well, the one message that really needs to be sent out to those who are battling with addictions is: You are not bad; you are a spiritual being choosing a human experience called addiction.  And guess what?  You can choose again, right here, right now. You can decide to be a person who in the past struggled with addiction.

    There is a viral letter going around Facebook right now that is finding its way into many people’s lives, and I would like to share that message with you here in this column today because I find it to be a very important piece of knowledge for people suffering through the hardship of addiction.

    The following  was written by a woman named Courtney A. Walsh.

    “Dear Human:  You’ve got it all wrong.  You didn’t come here to master unconditional love.  That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love.  Universal love.  Messy love.  Sweaty love.  Crazy love. Broken love.  Whole love.  Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up —- often.  You didn’t come here to be perfect.  You already are.  You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous.  And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story.  Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives.  It doesn’t require modifiers.  It doesn’t require the condition of perfection.  It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU.  It’s enough.  It’s plenty.”

    There are two specific parts to this letter that I find to be powerful and healing.  The first is that our love can be demonstrated through “messing up.”   In the writing of CWG, God makes it clear in his message:

    “Taken to ultimate logic, you cannot experience yourself as what you are until you’ve encountered what you are not. This is the purpose of the theory of relativity, and all physical life. It is by that which you are not that you yourself are defined.”

    It is pretty clear that active addiction is not ultimately who we really are.  For most of us, our behavior impacted others negatively, criminally, selfishly, and even ruthlessly.  All of these things we have done out of the distorted view of love we have.  Some feel the bar of morality is set to high for them to achieve, others do not feel worthy of love.  The one thing I am more sure of now than ever is that we are all worthy of love, regardless of our past.

    When in the depths of addictive behavior, we are always one decision away from freedom.  We can “rise again into remembering,” as Courtney points out in her letter, “You didn’t come here to be perfect, you already are.”  You did come here to experience life and realize your wholeness. We tend to forget this or simply haven’t awakened to this yet.  Maybe the message hasn’t been delivered in just the right way for you to hear it. It is my hope that this column can send that message.

    The second part of this “Dear Human” letter that strikes a chord within me is this: “It (love) doesn’t require the condition of perfection.  It only asks that you show up.”  In fact you are showing up.  You can’t not show up for life. You can, however, check out of life.  And active addiction is just that, checking out. Making a decision to give life a chance without your addiction gives you the opportunity to “show up” as a more complete version of who you really are.

    In CWG Book 1, God calls what we are doing here Re-membering.  And it is we who choose this remembering.  And choosing to remember who we really are is a pure act of creation.  So why not put to rest the current story you are telling about who you are and awaken to the next grandest version of you?  Have you not experienced the darkness of addiction enough?  Are you aware that enough is enough when you say it is?  You are not powerless, you are not a victim, you are God living a human experience.

    Your awakening will not be without reward. Life after addiction is filled with many gratifying experiences.  The beauty of the light after living in the darkness has been experienced by millions of people who are living long-term recovery.  The journey of many recovering people has included joining together to support one another and ultimately share their gifts with other like-minded people.

    “Your job on Earth, therefore, is not to learn (because you already know), but to remember Who You Are. And to re-member who everyone else is. That is why a big part of your job is to remind others (that is, to re-mind them), so that they can remember also. All the wonderful spiritual teachers have been doing just that. It is your sole purpose. That is to say, your soul purpose.” CWG Book 1.

    *Courtney A. Walsh can be found easily through Google by searching for “Dear Human.” The original intent from Courtney was for this to be “the seed of an empowerment movement for suicide prevention and bullying awareness.”

    (Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist.  He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, recovery coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery.  Kevin has a passion for holistic living, personal awareness training, and physical meditation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • The bully soulution

    “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt. 5:44)

    “What hurts you so much that you feel you have to hurt me in order to heal it?” ~ Neale Donald Walsch

    The dilemma of bullies is ancient, and we see it today on the playground, at work, and in cyberspace.  I’ve seen enough articles and people asking about this problem that it warrants important consideration.

    It surprises and perplexes me that when I see this played out in the
    mainstream news media (television, magazines, etc.), that they seem to
    ignore a simple technique that will transform bullying, neutralize it,
    and even create a blessing as a result.

    What’s the solution or soulution?  It was the first thing quoted above.  Matt. 5:44 I’ll modernize it in a moment.

    First, the solution or soulution is not often acceptable to people who want to stay in the problem-centered, negative or victim drama mode. Nevertheless, for those who may be agonizing over this, are dealing with this at this moment, or know someone who is, and are spiritually open-minded & open-hearted, a wonderful soulution is available.

    It’s worked and played in my life and in others’ lives.  Rather elegant & simple, it’s based on the quote above.

    Its effectiveness and simplicity throws some people off, and even creates disruption because they want to dismiss, minimize, and marginalize it.  Instead, they prefer to stay in the drama and victim-hood mentality for as long as they feel necessary.  For the rest of us, there’s a spiritual, psychological soulution.

    This method or technique can work for bullies at school or work, in cyberspace, hate groups, such as gay bashers and racial hate groups, etc.  Its effectiveness goes way beyond bullying, but because of the serious nature, especially with kids in school, and especially with cyber bullying and people in the work place, I’m especially signaling this out for those dealing with bullies.

    Think of the often quoted passage of Jesus, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt. 5:44)   It’s in this passage and in the spirit of it that the soulution awaits.

    The soulution:  Radiating and pouring forth Light and Love on the person who is doing the bullying.

    I like to say waterfall Light and Love on this person or persons/group, etc. Surround them with Light and Love and watch what happens.  Watch what kind of energy change is created.

    A few personal examples:
    Let me give you an example or two.  I’ve been in work situations where I’ve been potentially bullied, and stuck up for myself right away.  In one case, the person was someone who pushed his weight around literally, in that he was a huge man who few would tangle with.  I didn’t really like his attitude, but he made it known he was out to get me and I should stay out of his way.

    What I did every night from work was to sit in my chair, visualize him, and pour light on him.  It was not very easy, at first.  I disliked him for the unfairness of the situation in which I was placed.  Even as I poured light on him, I could see he was still angry.  Now, mind you, this is all going on in my mind…my mental, emotional
    experience.

    As time went on and I did this daily, and my visualization of him being angry and unreceptive started to shift, and when I was imagining, visualizing, and pouring light and love on him, he started to become more receptive and finally started to accept more of the light and love I was showering.  Now, even though this all played out in my mind, I was working and playing to make an emotional shift away from the negative energy I felt I was unfairly being vented with.

    Yet, as my visualization shifted, eventually, so did he.  About 2 weeks later, working on a particular project, he came over and asked me to do a simple easy task on a project he was working on, which I did. His response was, “Ya know what?  You’re all right,” and then he left. This told me that in his own way, he was saying that the situation was neutralized and we were cool.  I knew that my pouring light and love on this had created a new energy that resolved this conflict.

    This happened again years later at a job where I refused to do something because another person was pulling rank on me as a new guy, and I would not give in and stuck up for what I felt was right.  This person, a woman, really got mad and took it upon herself to belittle me in front of others, in an extremely inappropriate way.  However, I knew she was acting out her pain on me, and I did not take it personally. I knew that my pouring of light and love on her would eventually change the situation toward the influence of that positive love and light energy.

    It took a lot longer, as this woman was very stubborn and really continued to act out, showing contempt and hate for me.  Again, it was a bit challenging to put this light and love on her when she continued such rude behavior, yet I persisted.  I was quite sure she’d eventually change her attitude, or leave my experience, or that my situation would change for the better without her continuing to be in my experience.
    After working on this for four to six weeks, she was fired.  Remember, I poured the light and love on her, yet she did not want to change her attitude, so life created an experience where each energy would be best expressed.

    Sometimes when you start waterfalling Light and Love on the situation, the drama may temporarily escalate and flare up even more dramatically.  This can be due to the chemicalization process of your good energy vibrations mixing with their self hatred or negative hurt energy.

    They may try even more drastic measures. This is when some people start to worry that what they are doing does not seem to be working. Don’t worry.  This shows that you are having a effect on them and as these opposing energies mix, the chemicalization drama is sometimes (not always) the result.

    Realize that this is temporary and as you waterfall the Love and Light on them, it will neutralize the drama.  This is a critical point to remember, as your Love energy moves in, they can sometimes rebel dramatically, but only temporarily. As you are consistent in your good energy out flow, they will eventually either, move into your good energy, leave you alone or move out of your experience.

    The Key here is that you don’t play the blame or victim game or card.  “It’s the bully’s fault, they are to blame, they are the reason my life is currently so miserable,” etc. Instead, you proactively work and play to adjust your thinking and feelings around this by actively proactively taking charge of how you are responding and being around this situation. You don’t have to do this.  Of course, many don’t, yet I’m here to say that if you desire this to be resolved for the betterment of you and the one bullying, you now have a new choice on how to be and show up in relation to this hurt energy they misdirect toward you.  That’s why you were directed by life to this article.

    Always let light and love be the waterfalling energy toward those who would bully you or create unfair work or life conditions for you. The energy you send, express and give will express itself back to you in a very beneficial way, without harming them. They will either change their attitudinal energy, move away from you, or be promoted out of your experience in an appropriate way for all involved, especially you.

    The loving, compassionate energy we send and give to those who treat us unfairly will optimistically and positively influence the environment we are in. I believe this to be true of most, if not all, bullying situations.

    That’s it!  It’s that simple!

    “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”  (Matt. 5:44) [and you will see, feel and experience the blessings of Light and Love.]

    Love and Light poured on those that hurt, heals their hurt and changes your experience for the better.

    Bully and suicides often leave out the mental illness that is also present in certain cases and sound byte articles often (not always) offer more simplistic answers to more complex issues that also play out as part of the overall picture.

    An update article link of interest 2.9. 2012:

    Bullying and Suicide

    Another bully article update added 10.3.2011
    By The Week Yahoo news:  “Can dogs reduce bullying in schools?”

    Educators across the country are using canines to teach compassion and social responsibility.  From surfing to sniffing out cancer, what can’t dogs do? Now, USA Today reports that a number of school programs across the country are using dogs to teach kids empathy and compassion in an effort to help curb school bullying. Here, a brief guide: How are dogs fighting bullying?

    Kansas City schools have a program called “No More Bullies,” in which program volunteers, accompanied by trained dogs, teach kids about fairness, compassion, and integrity for one hour a day over five days. “The animals are the glue that helps the children stay focused and understand the message,” says Jo Dean Hearn, an ex-teacher who developed the program. “Children can easily identify with an animal. And it’s easy for them to transition when we ask them to consider how an animal feels (if ill treated) to how the kid sitting near them feels (if poorly treated).”

    Are there similar programs in other parts of the country?

    You bet. Last year, the Yale University School of the 21st Century and the Pet Savers Foundation of North Shore Animal League America launched a program called Mutt-i-grees to help children learn how to be more kind — toward people and animals. The program, which typically employs a dog-shaped hand puppet instead of an actual dog, is now used in 900 elementary schools in 28 states, and it’s being expanded to junior high and high schools. Also, the Healing Species program, founded a decade ago in South Carolina, uses rescue dogs to help children and teens recover from abuse and learn self-esteem, empathy, and other core values.

    Do these programs really work?

    They seem to. The “No More Bullies” program is so popular that there’s a long waiting list for next year. While it’s still too early to evaluate the Mutt-i-grees program, most of the teachers who participated said their students’ social, emotional, and problem-solving skills improved. A study published in 2008 found that suspensions for violent behavior declined by 55 percent among students who participated in the Healing Species program, and general aggression and retaliation went down by 62 percent. Teachers and guidance counselors also reported improved grades and a more than 80 percent increase in their students’ ability to walk away from conflicts.

    Sources: Healing Species, Mutt-i-grees, USA Today, Wichita Eagle

    (Marko Damkoehler is an artist/writer/musician and creator of markoworld.com, as well as an avid student of CwG. He is also one of the Spiritual Helper Moderators on the changingchange.net website.)

    (If you would like to contribute an article you have authored to the Guest Column, please submit it to our Managing Editor, Lisa McCormack, for possible publication in this space. Not all submissions can be published, due to the number of submissions and sometimes because of other content considerations, but all are encouraged. Send submissions to Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com. Please label the topic: “Guest Column.”)

     

  • Being Beyond Bullying: Series Part 4

    Part Four: Is the Grass Really Greener?

    Throughout the course of the Being Beyond Bullying Series, we have discussed how to handle bullying from the highest thought possible. We learned to love ourselves, live fully in the moment, and to share our message with the world. In short, we have concentrated on the experience of the bullied, but there is more to bullying than just one perspective. In the last part of the Being Beyond Bullying Series, we’ll finally take a look at the bully itself, and how the process, not the person, is what drives the unthinkable actions that we see in high schools and beyond today.

    To understand the functioning of the bully, we must understand their perception. Very few of us can claim that we haven’t taken up the role as the bully throughout high school, middle school, or even elementary school. At some point in our lives, we all have taken advantage of another person’s dilemma to make it our personal pleasure. We sniffed out the weakest, saw that they had nothing, and even took that away from them. With an easy target, we believed we found a quick way to elevate ourselves at the mere cost of another’s sense of self.  And we continued to do it again, and again, and again. But was it worth it? Did it really make us feel better? Were we really experiencing a sense of higher self? Not likely.  

    The question that does remain regards the way to change the behavior of the bully. Many school boards and state officials have attempted to answer with placing strict rules regarding the consequences of bullying. However, these new strategies have created some interesting results. According to an article from the Christian Science Monitor, dated September 19, 2012, many schools that have implemented ‘zero-tolerance’ policies towards bullying have not experienced a decline in its rate, but rather a dramatic increase. The reason cited for this trend is that the policies focus too much on consequences, and not enough on compassion. So it seems as though too much time is wasted on prosecuting reactionary behaviors, than on the creative transformation of the beliefs of the bully themself. Though the power of the bullying policy has been altered, nothing will truly change until the mindset of the bullies transform. And there we have it: a change in belief, not a change in power, will create the long-lasting impact in the teen experience. Sound familiar to anyone?

    For teens across the nation and across the globe, we need to bring that NEW level of compassion not only into our own lives, but also into the lives of everyone we encounter. We, as a generation, must decide to recognize the humanity in all, no matter how different or foreign they may seem. Instead of making zero-tolerance policies, we should be creating 100% tolerance policies. By seeing ourselves in another, by recognizing our own dreams, heart, and life in the person sitting next to us, we begin to realize that our differences aren’t so stark after all. When we see the weakest among us, those are the people that we should be extending our hands towards; those are the ones who we should share our love, laughter, and experiences with. By being that source of compassion, people can heal and grow in truly incredible ways. Whatever sense of ego-inflation we felt when we engaged in the process of bullying is NOTHING compared to the heightened sense of self we feel when we engage in the process of kindness. Experience it, just once, and feel the difference. You’ll never go back to bullying again.

    (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • Being Beyond Bullying: Part 3

    Part Three: The road well-traveled

    In the past two weeks, we have focused heavily on the psychological process of bullying, and on how changing our thoughts, has, in due course, changed our mentality on bullying. We have concentrated in near entirety on our personal self, and how to overcome our personal experiences. Yet, as facts and statistics incessantly inform us, we are not alone in our path, or in our journey. As stated in an article from The San Jose Mercury News, dated October 24th, 2012, over 13 million teens across the nation face bullying every day. Bullying may stem from personal problems, but it hardly ends there. As bullying continues to affect more individuals every day, we still see our own experiences with bullying as disconnected and separated from the world. Why, as individuals, do we feel as though bullying is only a personal struggle?

    As bullying attempts to prevent us from expressing our personal self, it has also prevented us from expressing our collective self. For in society, so far, we have adopted the “Minority of One” view, which has left teens isolated in their understanding of their situation and in their quest for solutions. The belief in the personal struggle, without any guidance or support, has led countless teens across the nation to believe that they are alone without any help or hope along the way. Feeling alienated in their personal condition, teens and even adults often become so engrossed by this mindset that they forget how often bullying really does occur. As those 13 million teens have a unique story, they all share a common experience. With that common experience, teens also share a common knowledge of facing those experiences.

    So why can’t we just share what we know? Why can’t we share what we have experienced individually, so that the understanding may be raised collectively? For in this case, Sharing IS Caring. The path of overcoming bullying is not one that is being trail blazed by each of us, but is rather a walk down the road well-traveled by everyone who has ever encountered bullying. What we have learned through our experience, through our trials and tribulations, can be explained and understood by those who still struggle with bullying today. With collective sharing of what we have learned individually, we have an opportunity to raise the entire consciousness of the group collectively.   

     By sending out your message, whether it be of forgiveness, expression, or acceptance, we give others the chance to absorb a new pattern of thought and emotion towards bullying itself. Just merely letting others have this level of exposure to alternative methods of overcoming bullying is a foot in the right direction. Too many times we believe that we face an ultimatum, of flight or flee, that hearing the other approaches serves as a reminder to what we essentially know to be true of life as possibility. With the simple knowledge of ‘there is another way’, teens will pursue these alternatives that will ultimately lead to higher thought levels of decision and action. Even though the situation may be slightly different, the same messages will still apply. Collective collaboration, and ultimately, conversation, is truly at the core of being beyond bullying.

    (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • Being Beyond Bullying: Series Part 2

    Part 2:  The Best Gift Ever

    As bullying continues to affect teens across the nation, we are beginning to see that the consequences are becoming more and more magnified. In coordination with National Bullying Prevention Month, the National Educational Association released some very disturbing figures: over 160,000 teens stay home from school in fear of being bullied in the classroom. And that’s just in one day. Given that some teens may repeatedly skip school to avoid bullying, a little math goes a long way in helping us look at the even bigger picture of this statistic. With an average of 180 school days in a year, there are about 28.8 million days of school missed in a single school year, solely because of the fear of bullying. So much time, so little progress.

    As this happens, not just once in a while, but on a daily basis, we are left wondering about this fear we teens seem to have. We start to see that bullying is not just a one-time event, but rather is an incident that seems to linger and create extended periods of stress and anxiety. We are left with the questions, Why is our fear of being bullied become so strong? Why are we so afraid of a possibility, and have gone to such a level that we change our daily lives to avoid that scenario? To even begin a conversation on these questions, we need to travel back to the original event: the act of bullying itself.

    When we experience an act of bullying, we realize that the amount of time that we were actually being bullied was very, very short. As it takes less than 30 seconds to physically or verbally push a teen’s self-esteem into the ground, the bullying event itself is a very temporary matter that is quickly replaced with a thousand other scenarios, actions, and experiences. It seems as though, when we are bullied, we should just be able to move above and away from the event. But somehow, the bullying event sinks into our minds, and then becomes the center of our psychological attention.

    We engross ourselves with our pain of the experience, and so we dwell in the traumas that could have been released. We envelop ourselves in the What If situation, and so we begin to fear the possibilities that could have set us free. We focus our minds, on the past and on the future, to continue experiencing the bullying long after the deed has been done, and thereby keeping it alive. By spending time worrying and suffering, fretting and brooding, we lose the minutes and moments of life and love in between.

    But this can change, and it will be changed by The Best Gift Ever: the Present. This isn’t a gift that is received on a birthday or holiday, but it is the only moment that ever truly exists: Now. By living in the now moment, the present moment, we let go of events and thoughts that are past experiences, because they are in the past. When we live in the moment, the fear of “what if” also disappears, as it is not happening now, and may not even happen in the future. As bullying serves to drive teens away from the present by filling their self-esteem with thoughts of past woes and future worries, the present is simply what is happening now. And now. And now. And the best part, is that we always have this gift, the gift that keeps on giving every moment of the day. By being present, we are truly beyond the mind games bullying wants to play.

    (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

     

  • Being Beyond Bullying: Series Part 1

    Part One: Just FLY

    In recent weeks, teen bullying has become center stage in news across the nation. At first we were shocked to hear the report of Preston Deener (age 15), with his episode of bullying right before his television interview on the subject. Then we were appalled to hear the account of Max Duke (age 15) and his school suspension for standing up to bullying victimization. And finally, we were truly at a loss for words to even describe the tragic case of Amanda Todd (age 15), whose personal struggles with bullying drove her to commit the unthinkable: suicide.

     We view, we watch, and we see these three striking examples, but the effects of bullying reach far more teens than meets the eye. The lives of Preston, Max, and Amanda aren’t the only ones who are scarred by bullying, as countless other teens, too many in names and numbers, feel that same pain and suffering.  Why is it that so many of us teens experience such physical, mental, and social abuse? How has bullying led some of us to such a loss of the self and the soul? And what choices can we as teens make to live beyond bullying?

    Within the following postings, bullying will become the main focus of the conversation. As needless mistreatment and disrespect have affected every one of us at one point in our lives, the experience of being harassed for just being ourselves has now become common. Serving as a theme too universal to be further ignored, we will take a look at bullying from the place it has the most impact: the self.

    For the majority of teens, bullying doesn’t necessarily harm our physical self, but it certainly damages our sense of self. This sense of self that bullying (and especially cyber bullying) affects includes our self-concept (Who We Are), our self-image (What We Choose), and our self-purpose (Why We Are Here). As others have generically called this ‘self-esteem,’ the main goal of bullying is simply to destroy it. By using constant humiliation and repetitive subjugation, bullying aims at making our sense of self so weak that we forget how wonderful and perfect our life, our choice, and our purpose really are. So now knowing what bullying does, what can we do? And, more importantly, how can we do it?

    As bullying wants to make our sense of self weak, what we can do is make our sense of self STRONG. To do this, all we have to do is just FLY. Or rather, just First Love Yourself, a less common acronym for a very common need.  By loving who you are in this world, by loving your choices and where they have led, by loving the reason why you wake and breathe everything day, you create a certainty in yourself that cannot be easily shaken or dismantled. Just having that love for yourself, no matter what anyone or anything may tell you, will keep you grounded in the beautiful person that is Who You Truly Are. Love yourself unconditionally for every aspect of yourself, even your fears and your regrets, as then no part of yourself is denied from receiving that strength of certainty in your highest self. With a solid foundation in our sense of self, the walls of our self-esteem stand sturdy against any mind games bullying will attempt to use. All you need is love (for yourself).

    Loving yourself, however, is still only the first step. In the following weeks, we will delve deeper into transforming our interactions and understanding of bullying. I deeply encourage all of us, teen and adult alike, to continue reading this series and continue to have conversations on this topic. Be the change you wish to see in the bullying world.

    (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com.)