The Global Conversation

Tag: fulfillment

  • So that’s what that feels like…..

    Forgive me, teens of the world, but as May 19th approaches sooner and sooner, I and every other senior in high schools across the world have become fixated on one day alone: graduation. With a little more than 6 weeks left and the bulk of my activities coming to a close, I cannot help to wonder: What am I going to miss? How much have I changed? Do I have any regrets?

    The most daunting of questions on my mind, however, is the simplest: Have I had a fulfilling high school experience?

    At this point, I begin to feel old. For this question is not just asked at the end of high school. The same question applies to the other senior, the one who has faced far more than our comparatively juvenile lives. For in our elder years, we also ask that same question, and hope we have the same answer. At the end of any great journey, be it of high school or of this physical stage of life, the necessity of optimizing that journey becomes of chief concern. We ask whether we had a fulfilling life. Did we, or did we not?

    So when dealing with that experience – the experience of fulfillment – we often are led to second, third, and quadruple-guess ourselves. Fulfillment seems to be such an elusive concept; it is something that is supposed to happen naturally, yet seems to require a lot of effort to be achieved. Fulfillment also seems to be very paradoxical; it appears to only be felt after the experience, yet requires us to be living in every moment to be reached.

    The very dictionary meaning of fulfillment is abstract enough, as it is listed by Merriam-Webster to mean “to execute, realize, and satisfy.”  Is fulfillment really just some intangible ideal beyond our recognition or attainment? To answer that, fulfillment is defined by its spiritual definition. In a broader perspective, fulfillment simply means “to realize one’s potential.” To many, realizing one’s potential means they have done something worthwhile with their time in this life. With the majority, we are led to wonder whether we did change the world, make a difference, or even just make the world a better place overall.

    The problem with fulfillment does not come from understanding it, but rather our judgment of it. Potential – our ability to be the very best version of ourselves – is something that does not have universal standards. We are all unique spiritual beings, with different purposes that aren’t even entirely known to us. Our soul desires to experience the full range of life, of loss, of love, so it may know itself. What our soul wishes to accomplish in this life cannot be quantitatively judged on a scale of 1 to 10. What one might call a complete failure may be success to another, all depending on the perspective of our soul.  The nature of our soul is simply too intricate and complex to be considered so artificially.

    Further, fulfillment of potential is not just something that happens retrospectively.  We don’t need to wait until we are old – in mind and body – for us to recognize our fulfillment. We can experience it in this very moment. And this one. And this one. With any spiritual experience, the fulfillment of our potential truly does not happen after the fact, but is happening NOW. Fulfillment is living in the moment – being in tune with our spiritual purpose at all times. When we look backwards, we fear the feeling of regret. If we simply BE the greatest vision of the grandest version of ourselves, then there is nothing else we have to do. Though we may feel the regret that it wasn’t enough, it is exactly where we are at the part of the journey – right where our soul leads us. Within the spiritual journey, there is no right or wrong, there is only the way our spirit takes.

    So that’s what that feels like. At any age, we worry and wonder about our fulfillment. If its high school or life itself, all we need to do is just let our soul do the work, and let ourselves follow. By living life from the highest point, there is nothing that goes unseen or undone. And it feels wonderful.

    (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • Work Before Play or Play Before Work?

    I feel really stuck in life right now.  I’m doing everything that I think I want to be doing (pursuing my master’s degree, working in my chosen field, developing my spirituality, maintaining my health) yet I often notice that amidst it all I feel stagnant and unfulfilled even.  It doesn’t seem to add up.  I don’t necessarily want to change anything about my life right now, at least the direction of it, but I also know I don’t want to feel this way.  I would appreciate any insight you have on this please.

    Roberta, Michigan

    Hi Roberta,

    I’m going to answer your question with a question: what are you doing for fun?  You see, in the quest to live a fulfilled life, we often put a lot of focus on the stuff that we believe brings us happiness (career/purpose, money, stability, health, family, personal growth, etc.).  None of that is bad, of course, it just tends to carry a heavier energy of “seriousness,” an urgency to “get it done so I can be happy.”  Without a healthy dose of fun and variety in the mix, as well as inviting mindfulness (aka “being” within the “doing”), it’s very easy to find ourselves feeling stuck and even unfulfilled.  In fact, I believe fun is completely underrated in our society, that the mindset many people have that there’s only time for fun after the work is done is a huge disservice to their own happiness and well-being.  Fun and variety are the fuel that allows us to keep going with all the other important things in life!  And if you’re not having fun and enjoying what you’re doing, then what’s the point?  (Okay, so you can tell I’m a bit passionate about this subject.)

    Now, I recognize that I don’t know everything about your story, and I’m sure there are probably some other contributing factors to your feeling stuck, stagnant, and unfulfilled, but I’m going to give you a place to start:

    ~ Ask yourself how much “healthy” fun and variety you currently have in your life (i.e., the kind that fills you up, makes you feel good and doesn’t hurt anybody, least of all you).  Then, if you can’t think of anything or there are only one or two things that you “sometimes” do, ask yourself:

    ~ “How can I add more healthy fun and variety into my life on a regular basis?”  This may look like taking a class just for fun, joining a club, scheduling in consistent time to hang out with friends, or even including at least an hour of fun into your day EVERY day. Then do it. (I do the last one, by the way, as part of my work day.  And I work more efficiently because of it.)

    ~ Also, ask yourself how you can be more present in each of those areas you’ve identified in your life (school, work, spirituality, health).  A place to start might be in noticing what you love about each of those areas.  Another idea would be to choose the state of being you wish you were in on any given day and simply be that (a whole other topic).

    ~ Finally, if all else fails, partner with someone to help you through it, to help you get to the underlying reason behind your “stuckness” and who can help you navigate your way to flow, fulfillment, happiness, joy and freedom.  Hire a coach, work with a therapist, a spiritual counselor, whatever you feel drawn towards but do something.  It’s so much easier (and faster) than trying to do it alone.

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)