The Global Conversation

Tag: Hitting bottom.Kevin McCormack

  • My favorite recovery tools

    Recovery from addiction, self absorption, behavioral deficiencies, and even old world thinking are one in the same. The first thing that is needed for change to take place is desire. Many times it also takes outside pressure to make “flip the switch” in our brain.
    Closed-mindedness is the enemy to change. Most of us have a desire to be “right” about how we do life. We spend an enormous amount of energy on proving ourselves to be correct and in the process making other “wrong.” Denial is a defense mechanism of the ego that we use to shield ourselves from criticism. The willingness to address this denial and closed-mindedness is critical to change, and ultimately, happiness.
    Opening our minds to ideas that may seem foreign or “wrong” doesn’t mean accepting these things as true, it just means that we are willing to look and listen, maybe even try it out. We can always go back to our way of doing things if these new suggestions do not bring us to a greater place of joy and freedom. After all, isn’t joy and freedom what we are all looking for here? I haven’t met anyone who truly lives just to be more miserable. Yet some people spend a great deal of their lives, maybe even all of their lives, unhappy.
    I’m here to say it doesn’t have to be that way.
    Life is constantly changing. That is what life is all about. Everything is in motion at all times. It is certainly true that people are changing all the time. Resisting this change is where our unhappiness is rooted. Going with change, and accepting it, opens us up to feeling better about situations that we are not really comfortable in. Finding an attitude of gratitude, even for unpleasant experiences, will serve our happiness better in the long run. One of the most profound statements to come from CwG is “what you resist, persists.” The follow up to that is, “what you look at disappears.”
    Developing a practice of quieting the mind is key to handling the stresses of life with more control and confidence. The minds of the addicted are constantly racing. The unharnessed mind is the enemy to serenity and peace. Many times in our lives our conflicts escalate because we don’t stop to think about the appropriate responses. Our society pressures us to have quick replies, and immediate results. We constantly find ourselves falling into the rabbit hole because we don’t stop to take a breath and quiet our mind before we fire off a retort.
    Saying yes to opportunities that stretch our comfort zone often reaps fantastic rewards. If you have ever seen the movie Yes Man with Jim Carrey I have found this practice to be very much like the movie. In our active spiritual life we are inspired to call forth new experiences in our lives. We set our intentions on whatever it is, we say a prayer or two requesting things, then we sit back and wait for them to appear, only to be disappointed and discouraged.
    We ask,”what is the problem?” I have done all the right things, set my intentions, prayed, put into place a mantra or incantation practice, and I still have not experienced what I asked for. We assume that God said no.
    Well God never says no. The answer is always yes, and it is always immediate. The problem is, in most cases, we didn’t know what to look for. Many times the experience is dangled in front of us, but the road looks too scary or risky and we turn back. Sometimes we say no to things that appear out of the blue because we are skeptical or cynical.
    Being aware that life is a contextual field reminds us that where one thing exists the opposite must also exist in order for us to fully grasp the grandness of anything. So if the opposite is presenting when you ask for a thing, bless it and thank it for its presence, for without the opposite we cannot appreciate the fullness of a thing.
    So here is a quick list of my favorite practices. These are the things that I find expand my consciousness, while at the same time opening up more space for me to experience happiness, joy and freedom, the holy trinity of a wonderful life.
    1. Yoga – Healing the body, focusing the mind, tending to the spirit. You cannot beat yoga for finding peace. Side benefits: the people you find in the rooms are on the same journey as you. Looking for peace, health, and love. Not just looking, but creating.
    2. Reading – Find the books that open your heart and your mind. Study them deeply. If you find something that works, keep on doing it. Then share it. What you give to another you give to yourself.
    3. Communicate- And when I say communicate I do not mean talking only. Listening is a lost art in our culture. So far lost that is really all people want from others is that they just listen. You don’t have to have the answers, in fact, you shouldn’t have the answers. We all have our own answers; many times we just need another to be a heart with ears. Listening, not judging or condemning.
    4. Drop expectations – When we expect things to appear there can be only two results. One, we get the thing. Two, we don’t. And if we expect something and get the opposite result, suffering can take place. It is great to have a preference for a result, but expectations usually end in letdown.
    5. Be creative – And I don’t mean painting pictures or drawing elaborate plans, although those are wonderful things to do. What I mean is intentionally create your state of being. Decide before hand what it is you wish to be, and then be it.
    6. Step outside your comfort zone – It has been said that if your palms aren’t sweating, you aren’t living, and I believe that is true. Great joy can be found in putting on our big boy and girl pants and living on the edge of comfort. Sometimes this just looks like starting a conversation with a stranger on an elevator instead of staring at the wall wishing the doors would open.

    (Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and Recovery Advocate.  He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, recovery coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery.  Kevin has a passion for holistic living, personal awareness training, and physical meditation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • The smoking gun

    Let’s play a little game here, shall we?  I am going to assume you are sitting down right now reading this on your computer.  If for some reason you are not, just do the opposite of what I ask of you.  So here we go:  Try to stand up.  Now tell me this, are you standing or are you sitting?  If you are standing, may I ask you if you tried to stand up or did you just stand up?  If you are still sitting, did you try to stand or did you just sit there

    The point I am trying to make here is, you never try to do something.  You either do it or you don’t.  For this blog we are going to use the addiction to smoking to illustrate the simplicity in ending addictive behavior.  The problem is not in the ending of the behavior. The problem is starting it over again once you have quit.  Smokers quit smoking many times every day and then one final time when they go to sleep at night. The problem is they start again once they awaken.

    So how do we stay stopped?

    What can we do to not start again?

    First I am going to tell you what not to do.  Oh you can if you want to but in all likelihood the following things will only be dead end streets down the same destructive path.

    First of all, forget the patch.  The patch infuses the body with nicotine, the drug in cigarettes that is highly addictive and destructive.  You are not doing your body many favors by eliminating the smoke from your lungs while at the same time dumping harmful chemicals right into your blood stream.  There is a much larger reason to stop smoking than just eliminating irritants from your lungs.

    The next thing to put out of your mind is E-cigs.  Ask yourself this question; Why am I considering quitting smoking?  Take a good look at the answer.  Is living a longer healthier life part of the equation?  E-cigs have not been independently tested so we have no idea if inhaling nicotine is safe.  Are we even sure that is the only chemical in them?

    Do you think you can quit?  I mean do you think you are capable of quitting smoking cigarettes?  This is a big question here and the answer may just lead you down another road.  If you really think you are not capable of stopping and staying stopped maybe the question you need to go back to is; who am I?  In fact if you have not answered that question and deeply pondered it, now would be a good time to do so.

    For anything we do in life we must have some form of belief that it can be done.  We may not be fully sure we will succeed but we must believe on some level that it is possible.  We may need to look outside of ourselves for assurance that it can be done. For quitting addiction, you only need to look so far as this column to see that someone has been able to remain drug, alcohol, and nicotine free for many years.  If I can do it, you can do it too.  We are made from the very same stuff!

    Sometimes we have to look outside our self for our inspiration.  This is where semi-blind faith comes into play.  Believe that the God in you will give you all that you need to end this habitual self harm.   See that others have gone before you and will tell you the great rewards they have had.

    Take note of the benefits you will reap from quitting like enjoying the taste of foods and drinks again.  That is one of the first things I noticed when I quit, not only to mention the money saved.  Your health and wellness hangs in the balance here.  Of course, in the eyes of God, there is nothing wrong with smoking, but is it bringing you where you say you want to go in life?  Is this how you wish to treat the temple of your body?  Is placing life-shortening chemicals in your lungs every 15 to 20 minutes the image you wish for others to see in you?  Can you really say that while doing this you are acting out of self love?  What would love do here and now?  I think you know the answer.

    (Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and Recovery Advocate.  He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, recovery coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery.  Kevin has a passion for holistic living, personal awareness training, and physical meditation. You can visit his website Life After Addicton for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • With arms wide open

    “As long as the ties that bind us together are stronger than those which will tear us apart, all will be well.”   Narcotics Anonymous literature

    Conversations with God, along with countless other spiritual and religious institutions, mention that we are all one.  Many of us, myself included, would nod their heads in approval not truly knowing what this means, or if we really even believe it to be true.  I mean, how can the guy who nearly ran me off the interstate today truly be one in the same with me and my God?  You see, my God is loving and caring and compassionate, and always considerate!  My eyes tell me we are not one in the same.

    Ah, now there is the rub.  We are one, just not the same, by design.  We are one on our journey of self-improvement, evolution, and struggle to overcome what our eyes tell us we are separate from.  We are cut from the same cloth of God and we come here to experience the grandness of life.  Many times we become entrenched with the conflict between what our heart feels and what our senses pick up from external sources.  Resistance and opposition are viewed as negatives while offering us the grandest of all gifts – contrast.

    When I first began my sober life, I was fortunate to meet people who welcomed me in and identified with me.  In fact, I was told that I was the most important person in the room that day.  This was because the people who were already there needed to see that their old ways were not working. I was the gift for them that day; I was the contrast.

    Together we are in this physical plane of life where we require a contextual field to provide us with a definition of ourselves.  Without all of you, I have no way of knowing anything about me.  God has given us this life, indeed.  He has joined with us in this physical vessel we call our bodies so that she, too, may know the grand nature of his-herself.

    The first thing that brought comfort to me when I entered the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous was the togetherness, the oneness, the comfort in knowing that I was not alone in my dis-ease.  The 12 steps are the same regardless of which program you enter.  The wording only changes slightly, but the meaning stays the same.  So the reason there are so many different programs available is simple. We are all seeking like-minded people.  We feel comfort around those who know what we have been through by their own experience.

    Recovery in the purest sense is not possible without incorporating others into our healing process.  Healing cannot take place without the help, support, and encouragement of others.  This is not to say people can’t stop using on their own.  They can and do.  Recovery is a completely different than simply being abstinent; recovery is a state of being.

    When in recovery, we are a light unto the darkness that others suffering with similar dis-ease can be drawn to.  Our energy is shifted from that of reaction, to a place of creation.  Each day brings about an opportunity to consciously observe and create our self in a more grand way.  We look at areas of shortcomings and recognize the need for change.  In moments of enlightenment, we can admit to others that we behaved in ways that we were not proud of and express our intention to make every attempt to correct our behavior.

    Doing these things brings about a sense of pride in ourselves that we have not experienced in a very long time.  We share with others our struggles and our victories.  We ask each other for help in our times of weakness and we lend our shoulder to others when they experience theirs.

    The sober/recovering person is a gift to the community and inspiration to those still suffering.  In this state of beingness, one invites others into the dark corners of their life and does not hide behind excuses any longer.

    Isolation is the partner of dis-ease.  Experience tells us that where two or more are gathered, God is made flesh.  Many years have gone by since I was greeted that fateful day.  I owe a debt of gratitude to that room of people who opened their arms and welcomed me in. I have long since moved away from that room of people, but I have taken the gift they gave with me.  It is now my place in recovery to welcome newcomers into the room, and tell them they are not alone anymore.

    Join us Path to Peace recovery retreat in Orlando, Florida, October 24 – 27th.  JR Westen and myself are taking the messages found within the ”Conversations with God”  Cosmology, along with our combined 53 years of personal recovery from alcohol, drug, and food addictions, and offering these retreats as a means of returning people to their authentic selves.  We understand the difficulty people face with overcoming these challenges in life and offer a simple, compassionate, and effective means of living a happy, joyous, and free life. These retreats are not simply a weekend long reprieve from our troubles.  Each attendee will be introduced to past and future participants through our community Facebook page.  In addition, any past participant can attend any future P2P retreat for any donation they wish to make.  You read that right – any donation, from $1 to infinity.  We have seen the lives of people change and remain changed from these retreats.  If this is for you, click here to register.

    We understand that there may be financial hardships keeping you from attending this retreat.  If you feel you would benefit from this retreat but cannot afford it, please contact Will@cwg.org and ask about our scholarships.  It is our deepest desire to help those who truly seek change and we want nothing to stand in the way of that.

    (Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist.  He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. You can visit his website here for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • The bottom – up close and personal

    Little did I know when I woke up hung over and in a fog, Wednesday, May 27, 1987, what this day would hold for me.  What I did know is that it would not be a normal day, nor a comfortable day.  I could not have known, foreseen, or imagined how important this day would end up being in my life.  The challenge for me was that  I had an appointment with a counselor who was going to evaluate me on behalf of the New York State Department of Transportation’s “Drinking and Driving” program to determine if I fit their profile of an alcoholic.

    My task was to see to it that I did not meet their criteria for an alcoholic, by any means necessary.  You see, I knew I had a drinking problem, but I could not let someone else tell me this.  I had been defending myself against these allegations for a few years, mainly from my family.  I had to be right, and being right meant I had to lie.  And on this day, I had to convince a professional that I was simply a recreational user, so I needed to put my best foot forward.

    I was well aware of this 9 am appointment in advance.  I made the appointment myself, and my family took it upon themselves to remind me of it.  They also warned me that going out  to the bar after work that night (like I did every night) was not a good idea.  I begged to differ.  So I went out as I usually did; and to this day, I could not tell you what I did, how much I drank, or who I was with that night.  I believe I must have blacked out very early.

    I was mandated to the New York State “Drinking and Driving” program due to a DUI I had been convicted of roughly six months prior.  At the time of my arrest, I was 20 years old, not of legal age to drink in New York.  I had to go to a special class one day per week for 10 weeks to learn about the dangers of drinking and driving.  Part of the curriculum of this class was a psychological test that was designed to determine the potential for alcoholism.  The questions on this test seemed very normal to me, so I did my best to answer them as a “non-alcoholic” would answer.

    Feeling pretty good about my ability to get over on the system, I was shocked and angered to find out I did not “pass” this test.  I was told that I was at high risk for alcoholism based upon some of my answers.  One of the answers that I got “wrong” was to the following question:  Do you have night sweats?  Well, I am a smart guy and I know that everyone sweats, so I answered yes.  Now, apparently this was a trick question…. How in hell did they know that I would wake up in the morning and there would be a soaking wet imprint of me on my sheets?  Apparently not everyone sweats profusely at night!  Who knew?

    So now here it is, the morning of this looming appointment.  I am hung over.  My parents (who are not drinkers) are shocked that I would take such little care of myself prior to this appointment.  On this night, they had been waiting for me to get home, as they sometimes did, most likely in fear that I would not make it home.  This night was much like the rest; I staggered through the door sometime around 4:30 am.  I do not recall what, if any, interaction took place at that time.  After getting about three hours of sleep, my parents awoke me to get ready for my appointment.

    My father drove me to the place where I was to have my session, probably because they wanted to make sure I went through with it, but also because I was likely still intoxicated from the night I had just spent drinking.  There was also a “higher” reason for him to be there, which will be revealed to you shortly.

    I remember what happened next as if it happened just this morning.  The details are surprisingly sharp in my mind even though it is almost 26 years later.  I walked up to the receptions area and announced who I was and who I was there to see.  The receptionist looked through the appointment book and turned a few pages.  She asked me again who I was there to see and what my name was.  She asked me to wait there for a minute while she checked with the counselor.  When the receptionist returned, she stated very bluntly that the reason she did not have me on her list for that day was because my appointment was scheduled a week prior.  I had missed my scheduled appointment!

    My mind went suddenly blank and my heart sank to my stomach.  I turned to my father and spoke the words that would set in motion the most profound change my young life had experienced, “Dad, I am ready to go to rehab.”  This request had come from “out of the blue” as I had been battling with my parents about my drinking and their desire for me to get help.  I had steadfastly denied any problem, using the old adage, “I can quit anytime I want.”

             “Dad, I am ready to go to rehab.”

    For me to ask for help at that moment in time was, in my opinion, a Divine intervention.  I had not considered making such a change in my life at any time.  I was valued in my workplace even though my employer knew full well what my lifestyle was.  I also enjoyed my job very much and was in fear that being away for a week, or, God forbid, a month, may jeopardize my employment.

    Hitting bottom for me came as a surprise.  Speaking the words “I am ready” came out of my body as if a spirit guide had thrust itself into the physical realm and did for me what I could not do for myself.  This is the moment of pure creation that I am so incredibly grateful for till this day.

    I had no idea at the time what I was getting myself into.  I had heard about rehabs, and I had even attended a few minutes of an AA meeting once because a friend of mine had been mandated by the Courts to go.  I really did not know much more about where I was heading and how profoundly my life would change.  What I did know is that I was tired, and I was feeling like I had quite possibly made a mistake that New York State might have punished me for.  For the first time, I was afraid that I had become exactly what most everyone who knew me knew I was:  an addict.

    I shared this story with you here to show the depth of where I was at in my life at the age of 21.  Everybody’s bottom is different; and for some, the bottom is death of their physical body.  My bottom may be considered by some to be a “shallow” bottom.  What this means is that I did not lose much in the way of material possessions.  I didn’t completely alienate my family and friends.  I was not living on the streets, begging for money so that I could pay for my drug of choice.

    I was at the place that was perfect for me to transition my life path.  My soul gave me the exact right situation, with the exact perfect people, in the one place and time that I would be able to make the choice to change.  Nothing happens in this world by coincidence. And for me, it is very clear that my story can make a difference in the lives of other people suffering with the pain of addiction.

    I will be sharing with you in this series of blogs what the first year of recovery was like for me.  Although we all have our own path to freedom, I believe there are some very important decisions that enabled me to remain substance-free through the trials and tribulations of early recovery.  So stay tuned to learn more about me through my experience of getting clean and staying sober.  I thank you for being here to read this and hope that these words of my personal journey to recovery may inspire you or someone you know to make that hard choice to move into the unknown.

    The next article will describe my seven days in the detoxification ward of the Ellenville New York Hospital.

    (Kevin McCormack, C.A.d, is a certified addictions professional, as well as a Conversations with God Life Coach, and a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net.  You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com  To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)