Tag: lonely

  • Unseen, unheard, unloved…unthinkable

    The body of Yvette Vickers lay unnoticed and unmissed in her California home for what some have speculated to be several months beyond the moment of her passing.  The B-movie actress and former Playboy Playmate, perhaps best known for her role in the cult classic film “Attack of the 50-Foot Woman,” not only died alone, but her physical presence was not missed by even one of the over 7 billion people that currently occupy our planet for an unimaginable amount of time.  In spite of the fact that people at one point actually paid money to view her naked body in Playboy magazine and people paid money to be entertained by her roles in a few low-budget films, not one single person checked on her, asked about her, looked for her; and most disappointing of all, not one person expressed love to her.

    How can something like this happen?  How is it even possible for someone’s life to end virtually unseen, unheard, and unloved?   And perhaps the bigger question is:  What can we do to change that?

    As disturbing as this particular story may be, the fact that millions of human beings on our planet today live in isolation and loneliness is perhaps even more disturbing.  The statistics surrounding an ever-increasing population contrasted against the staggering numbers of people moving through their days alone seems absurd and completely implausible.  A logical mind would struggle to understand such a contradiction in facts, let alone understand how an entire population of people could continue to do very little, if anything, about it.

    What piece of the puzzle are we missing?

    At what turn did  Humanity get so horribly off course?

    While a percentage of our population is benefiting from living in a world pulsing with the frenetic energy of fast-paced technology and more advanced ways of communication, we may want to pause and take notice of the large percentage of our population that is being, quite frankly, forgotten and left behind.  And even among those who have immersed themselves in the fast lane of the “information super highway,” it is becoming more and more evident that we, as a society, seem to be aloofly drifting away from the true intention of our relationships: to touch, to gaze, to smell, to hear, and to BE with each other in such a way that we may know experientially Who We Really Are.

    But the fact that so many people live day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year clouded in loneliness and feelings of insignificance cannot be entirely and solely attributed to modern-day advances in communication.  Somewhere along the line, we have simply forgotten what matters.  We have forgotten that our neighbors matter.  We have forgotten that the elderly lady pushing her shopping cart in the grocery store matters.  We have forgotten that the children who are ignored on the playground matter.  We have forgotten that the man sleeping on the park bench, without a home to go to, matters.  We have forgotten that every single solitary expression of life which lives and breathes on this planet matters.

    Of course, on a spiritual metaphysical level, no one is ever truly alone.  But there is certainly a huge disconnect somewhere between the knowing of that and the experiencing of that as millions of people are struggling right now, in this very moment, to feel some semblance of meaning and purpose in their lives.

    But how does somebody make a difference in the life of another if they don’t feel their own worthiness or experience their own significance?  How can anyone possibly give something they simply don’t have in the first place?

    Conversations with God offered to us the powerful message of:  “Whatever it is that you wish to experience more of in your life, be the source of it in a life of another. There is a universal law that plays its effect here. When you give what you want to another, you cause yourself to notice that you have it.  And since reality is a matter of perception, it is your perception that has caused you to imagine that you do not have it. When you give it to another and cause them to have it, you suddenly come to the realization that I could not give it to them if I did not have it to give. Suddenly you become aware that you had it all along.”

    And when we live our lives within this framework of understanding, what then have we allowed ourselves to discover about ourselves?  About life?  About God?  About Who We Are and Why We Are Here?

    Could we all commit to stepping outside of our comfort zone to present someone who feels unseen the opportunity to be seen?  Or to hear someone who feels unheard?  Or to love someone who feels unloved?  Even if the person who feels unseen, unheard, or unloved happens to be you?

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team atwww.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • I’m lonely and I attract the wrong men

    I am 40 years old and I feel lonely. I live alone in a small apartment, but I have a problematic family. A couple of months ago I met someone who said he wanted a serious relationship but after we had sex one time, he changed his mind. He said we are too different and I make him very angry. I pursued him anyway and it caused a lot of trouble. What can I change in myself not to attract men who leave me so easily and cheaply? My father beat me until I was 17 years old and both of my parents are still unkind to me. Basically the problem starts in the family where I’m born, I think. I would like to be at peace with my ex-boyfriend and everyone, starting with me. Can you give me a couple of ideas that might help?… Vicki

    Dear Vicki…  Thank you for reaching out and for being so open about what’s going on with you. I have some gentle advice that can turn your life around rather quickly. If you can take these two simple ideas to heart and really implement them, in six months time you can find yourself in a much happier place than you are now.

    1. Drop your story. Everything that happened with your family as a child, and everything that is happening now with them, and with your ex-boyfriend, is just that: It’s just what’s happening! There is no reason for it to define you now or for it to derail your happiness. Every day—in fact, every moment—is a new opportunity to create your life anew in the next grandest version of the greatest vision you ever held about yourself, and the time you spend in your mind, fretting about past events, is time you could be spending in the joy of the present moment. We deprive ourselves of happiness by dwelling in the past.

    2. Realize your life is not about you. It is about everyone whose life you touch. This is one of the very first messages Neale received in his conversation with God. In dealing with others, don’t approach them with the idea of, “What’s in it for me?” Don’t seek to receive a gift from someone. Rather, ask instead, “What gift can I bring to this person?” The moment you make this seemingly small change in your life, everything changes, because, Victoria, as you become the source of joy for others, you automatically receive it. This is how Life works because there is really only One of us! We are all part of the same God-energy that creates worlds. We have the same power to create that It does, and like God, we are unlimited, eternal and free. Free to think, free to choose, and free to be all that we can be. And that, dear Victoria, is what our Souls call us to do: to evolve by becoming aware of what’s really going on here. And when we put our awareness on how we can help others, we automatically help ourselves.

    I invite you to read Neale’s book, Happier Than God. It’s chock-full of great ideas to help all of us find true joy, peace and fulfillment in our lives, and they really work.

    And last but not least, I leave you with this poem by George Eliot. I sincerely hope these ideas help you, dear Victoria.

    Count That Day Lost

    by George Eliot

    If you sit down at set of sun
    And count the acts that you have done,
    And, counting, find
    One self-denying deed, one word
    That eased the heart of him who heard,
    One glance most kind
    That fell like sunshine where it went —
    Then you may count that day well spent.

    But if, through all the livelong day,
    You’ve cheered no heart, by yea or nay —
    If, through it all
    You’ve nothing done that you can trace
    That brought the sunshine to one face —
    No act most small
    That helped some soul and nothing cost —
    Then count that day as worse than lost.

    (Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)