The Global Conversation

Tag: negative thoughts

  • Annoyed with Positive Thinking

    I’m a believer in the power of positive thinking, I know I feel better and my life seems better when I look on the bright side of things, but what I don’t understand is what are you supposed to do when something really upsetting happens and you’re, well, upset?  It doesn’t feel right to try to force myself to be positive and look at the bright side in that moment, and honestly sometimes I physically can’t!  Yet what I continuously hear from others is “think positively”, “expect things to work out”, and that only irritates me further.  Don’t get me wrong, I want to believe in this line of thinking, law of attraction and all of that, I just don’t think I fully understand it.  Can you clarify?

    Marion, Chicago 

    Hi Marion,

    I can’t help but giggle a little upon reading your words, not because I’m laughing at you but because I so know what you’re talking about, and what it feels like when you encounter someone who is trying to talk you out of the way you are currently feeling.  You’re right, it kind of just makes you want to slap them upside the head!  (Figure of speech, of course, meant lightly.)

    There is something that you may not currently understand about this whole positive thought thing, the understanding of which could change everything.  I love that you noticed that “it doesn’t feel right to try to force myself to be positive”, because that feeling is informing you of something right there – that it’s not yet time to move on from what you’re feeling.  Okay, without getting too wordy I will try to clarify.  Our feelings and emotions are some of our greatest tools, and CWG says “feelings are the language of the soul.”  That is, your soul communicates with you through your feelings, so to try to condemn what you are feeling, no matter what it is, and force it away is denying yourself communication from YOU, communication that could be very helpful to what you’re currently experiencing in life.  Not to mention it’s impossible because “what you resist persists”, and if you attempt to push those feelings away, you can bet your bottom that they will just keep coming back.  So it’s always in your best interest to acknowledge and validate what you’re feeling, and look to see what it’s pointing to.  Are you sad?  What does that tell you about what you want?  Does something feel “off”?  What needs to be adjusted to feel “on” again?

    Regarding the law of attraction and positive thought movement, the piece that many miss is that it’s not wrong or bad to feel down, negative, upset, etc.; accept that that is going to happen in life.  Even the greatest of masters and enlightened ones out there feel those “negative” emotions still, but the difference is they also recognize they are gifts, tools, and use them for the purpose in which they were intended.  They allow themselves to feel what they are feeling, and decide what it means.  But they don’t stay there.  That’s perhaps the most important part: feel what you’re feeling, but don’t stay there, be willing to “move up” the emotional scale as soon as you’ve gotten what you need.  If you wallow in your despair, sadness, anger, frustration, etc., the process of creation/law of attraction will bring you more of that.  But if you give it meaning, and choose your next highest thought, word or deed, you will vibrate at a higher level and the process of creation/law of attraction will bring you more of that.  A much better route if you ask me.

    So, Marion, strive to give yourself permission to feel however you feel without judgment.  Then, take a deeper look at those feelings, and ask yourself, or your soul, what they are showing you about you, your life, and what you want.  It is very helpful to sit down and journal about this, even write out a dialogue with your soul.  Some of the answers may even surprise you.  Positive thinking, focusing on gratitude and the “good stuff”, is an incredibly wonderful practice to adopt, but you will find the most success with it if you factor in all of the above as well.  Besides, we are all of it, the good and the bad, the positive and the negative…we are wonderfully and beautifully human.

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

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  • So what about those negative thoughts and feelings?

    Now, negative thoughts and frustrations will, and do, come in from time to time, sometimes a lot more if we’ve made them a kind of unconscious habit. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing; it’s just a part of how we currently process life. It’s often very temporary, and it’s okay to feel these frustrations. We can even break these negative thinking habits by the practice of patience, forgiveness, loving kindness, and compassion we show on and toward ourselves and others.

    The trouble is we tend to be culturally conditioned to focus on them too much and stay in them too long.  This is when they can become unhealthy and less beneficial.

    I suggest instead to acknowledge them – thank them, if you will – for pointing out that there’s something going on that you don’t prefer.  Thus, your negative thoughts, feelings, and frustrations are letting you know you desire change.

    Now, you can also practice and remember that you don’t have to get caught up in, or stay so focused on, those temporary negative thoughts and feelings.  Instead, just be more aware that they actually are wise friends, pointing you toward what you do prefer.

    Negative thoughts, in fact, can have a very positive benefit!  They have an important message.

    They are simply pointing out, or letting you know, that something is important enough to create a feeling energy in you to “course-correct” yourself, if you choose.

    What would happen if you now saw your negative thoughts and frustrations as your spirit hinting strongly that it’s asking for an adjustment attunement from you to get you to a place of peace and harmony?  Wow! We were never taught that in school or at home! That’s your spirit directing you to course correction.

    Frustrations, irritations, annoyances, setbacks, anger, pain, interruptions, BIG or small, can be seen as energy bursts that happen as we desire to better our lives, become more peaceful, balanced, whole and prosperous, etc.  These frustrations and so forth come to us in answer to our desires to improve our lives, and they can help us get there more quickly by the high energy charge they give us.  We see them as negative, but that is our culturally conditioned judgment we place on them.

    If we allow it, we see that this is life calling us in answer to our spiritual life improvements we desire to have.  It doesn’t have to always come in the guise of negative thoughts, frustrations, etc.  Yet if and when it does, we can use them for our benefit rather than our determent.  That shows we are ready to move ahead with better improvements with our lives, which is why they come in the first place.

    We are indoctrinated into believing that negative thoughts and feelings are bad, that they create bad energy and experiences; whereas, another more beneficial way to look at them, or use them, is that they are showing us that something is important enough to us to cause such a strong energy, and by the feelings they create, they can powerfully move us to positive, beneficial,  and welcome change.

    They get us there more quickly than when things are going so-so.  These are powerful energy movers that are created or called forth for our betterment.  They are here to motivate and show us the way to living the life we so desire.  That is their divine cosmic purpose. That is their gift and blessing we often overlook.

    But not anymore!

    We have another way to see and perceive negative thoughts and feelings. They are secretly disguised course-correctors, the GPS  from our spirit to direct us to more positive lives and experiences.

    When we are ready and open enough in our hearts and minds and, thus, look more deeply into life, we see that it is set up in such a way that it works and plays in our ultimate favor.  The negative is here for contrast and free will choosing.  As we dive and peer deeply into the cosmic microscope, we see that good is actually behind and underneath it all.  Wow!

    The mind can’t usually conceive this, but the heart, your spirit, your soul, your true self can.  That’s what led you here to begin with, don’t you think?  That is, to place within your current experience an alternative and beautiful way to see life as an expression of Original Blessing and Original Grace.  This article is an answer to your call for understanding.  That’s what the angels tell me anyway.

    Using negative thoughts and feelings in this way eventually can become so habitual that we will eventually have less need to have thoughts show up negatively as we gain more wisdom.  Yet using the wisdom, gifts, and blessings behind the seeming negatives works and plays for our benefit, our improved joy in life.  Such is the secret wisdom behind the seeming negative if we but look and honor it.

    That’s a win-win!

    (Marko Damkoehler is an artist/writer/musician and creator of markoworld.com, as well as an avid student of CwG. He is also one of the Spiritual Helper Moderators on the changingchange.net website.)

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