The Global Conversation

Tag: new year’s resolution

  • Lovingly Release the Old, Powerfully Invite the New

    Instead of answering a question this week, I thought I’d share a very powerful New Year’s ritual you may want to try to properly say goodbye to this significant year, and embrace the year ahead with open arms.  I often hear the phrases “good riddens” or “I’m so done with this year” at the end of each year, in people’s attempt to leave behind the old and start fresh.  What most people don’t realize, however, is that when you speak in such negative tones, you are actually creating more resistance around what you are trying to let go of and are basically inviting more of it into the next year.  So don’t do that!  Try the following instead 🙂 :

    On New Year’s Eve, set aside some alone time (or do this with someone you can easily share stuff like this with) to be with what has occurred in the last year, and tune into what you want to see in the next year.  Follow these steps:

    1.         Create your space.  Making this a ritualistic experience adds to the energy of what you are doing, and makes it more meaningful.  So light that candle, say a prayer, take deep breaths, burn incense, etc.

    2.         Properly say goodbye to 2012.  Take out a sheet of paper, and begin writing all that you are ready to say goodbye to from the last year and even prior to it, all of those things that you recognize have served their purpose and are no longer needed in your life.  I say “properly”, because in order to truly release something, it needs to be lovingly released.  In other words, rather than saying “I’m so done with that” with an edge of regret or disdain, shift your energy to being grateful for the presence of this thing in your life, and the acceptance that it was there for a reason and there was a gift in it.

    3.         Lovingly release.  In a safe way, burn the piece of paper, or tear it up, bury it whatever works for you, and as you do so give thanks to God, the Universe or whomever it is you appeal to with such things.

    4.         Celebrate!  When you are finished, it is so important to celebrate.  Not only does it lock in the experience, but it is an acknowledgment of this loving, important thing you just did for yourself.  Celebrating can happen in many different ways; maybe pouring a glass of champagne or eating some decadent chocolate, or perhaps taking a luxurious bubble bath or going out to celebrate with a loved one.

    5.         Powerfully invite the new.  On New Year’s Day, or as close to it as you can get, take some time to tune into and get clear on all that you’d like to invite into your life for 2013.  Again, create your space and take out a sheet of paper writing out all of those things you’d like to see show up, both physical and non-physical things within yourself you’d like to see emerge.  This can be done as a list, a letter to yourself, a drawing, etc.  When you’re finished, seal it in an envelope and keep it somewhere safe that you’ll remember to take it out and read it next December (it helps to mark a reminder on your calendar).

    6.         Act as if and walk your talk.  Don’t simply sit back and wait for these things to show up.  In the days, weeks and months that follow, consciously choose to think, speak and act in accordance with the things you wrote down for 2013.  Set some goals and milestones, hire a coach to inspire you and keep you on track, enlist a good friend to help hold you accountable.

    Wishing you happiness, joy, peace, love and fulfillment in the New Year, and in this process of becoming more of Who You Really Are.

    Nova

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

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  • Families and New Year’s — I mean New Day’s Resolutions

    Living a conscious life is interesting!  Because you are more aware of life as it unfolds, you get the opportunity to really know yourself, your life partner, your children and the other family members around you.  It can also be a little bit of a contradiction of terms because while you notice more about your surroundings and the actions of others, you may, at the same time, choose not to react to those things in the typical fashion.  For instance, you may consciously decide to take fewer things personally, let the more trivial things go (like toothpaste dripped on the counter, laundry that doesn’t make it into the hamper, and coats that do not make it onto the hook), and work harder to find the positives in difficult situations.  In other words, if you are living in the moment, you may make New Day’s Resolutions every day, so New Year’s Resolutions might seem silly to you.  Instead, let’s talk about making New Day’s Resolutions.

    How can this be applied to parenting? In the past few years, I began a silent, private practice. I re-resolve every morning to be grateful; to be patient, kind and loving to the people I encounter, especially to my husband and child. I re-commit myself every morning to be consistent with Who I Really Am.  I wonder if helping your child to feel these gifts of yourself, and to develop the ability to roll with the changes of life, may be the biggest gifts you can give.

    Would you like a small example of this in action?  The next time you are about to walk out the door and your child spills the proverbial glass of milk, you can respond with a smile and say, “Oh, sweetie, I know you must really feel sorry that you spilled it, and I am sorry that you did as well, but you know we don’t get upset about spills in this house.  We just clean them up, together!  Now let’s get to work so we can get on our way!”  Not only will you illustrate compassion and respect, but sharing the clean-up responsibility helps your children know that you are always there for them, even when the day is rough.  These types of gentle interactions can be applied in any situation, at any time, if only you take a moment and breathe before you speak.  Think before you react.

    Teaching your children to treat others in the same way will help them remember Who They Really Are.  Adopting a morning practice of introspection and setting your individual intentions for the day may be beneficial.  At first you may want to do it as a family, taking a moment in the morning as you wake up together.  You can talk about what each of you wish to commit to for that day, whether it is treating others with love or respect or gratitude…eventually your children may wish to do their own practice.  Whether you continue together or on your own, I think you will find daily “New Day’s Resolutions” to be much more effective, and more long-lasting, than any New Year’s Resolution.

    Wishing you peace, love and joy in the coming year!

    (Emily A. Filmore is the Creative Co-Director of www.cwgforparents.com. She is also the author/illustrator of the “With My Child” Series of books about bonding with your child through everyday activities.  Her books are available at www.withmychildseries.com. To contact Emily, please email her at Emily@cwgforparents.com.)