The Global Conversation

Tag: parents

  • Creative parenting: through the eyes
    of your child

    “Life is a process of creation, and you keep living it as if it were a process of re-enactment”  – (Conversations with God – Book 2)

    As a parent, it is important to live life moment to moment, experiencing the journey that you have created with this new life, your child! However, most of us re-enact what we experienced as children, not the other way around. We re-enact parenting behaviors rather than create new parenting skills.  Spiritual parenting is a new concept.  It is a different approach to the traditional authoritarian style of parenting that society has handed down generation after generation, one which involves a new way of seeing your child and a new way to experience each other’s humanness.

    I am writing this article because I have noticed so many parents parenting from the past, rather than from a natural progression of their life experiences.  Most children are intuitive and have natural human senses.  But it is often the case that parents do not allow their children to manifest their own thoughts and ideas.  Instead, many parents dictate to children their own ideas about what they think life should be like or look like. Sometimes it is okay to follow their lead, allowing them to direct us in creating their futures. This will give us, the parent, more tools to work with as we move toward a new way of parenting. By listening to our children, we gain a new, creative way of parenting rather than re-enacting our own past experiences.

    I realize that this little tad bit of information might seem confusing at first, but it is quite simple actually. I am suggesting that you step out of your mind…out of your past…and look into the future through the eyes of your child…into forever.

    What does your “forever” look like? “Forever” for you may mean until the end of this physical life.  To some, it could mean through many lifetimes for all eternity. To me, forever is a continued source of energy, one that exists in both the spiritual realm and the physical realm.  It is a never-ending story, a continuation of your Soul’s creation, not a re-enactment from the beginning of this physical life…unless it is. My forever often doesn’t look anything like I think it should because I am constantly creating it.  I am creating that which has been given to me, through me, and releasing the re-enactment of what I think was given to me.

    I was given a wonderful example of this from a very good friend who longed to raise her son in a small town, because that is how she grew up, until one day she realized that her past is not the place to draw upon in an effort to create a life for her son.  Rather, it was an attempt to simply relive what was meaningful and memorable to her. Creating a new direction with her son was a better path for both of them, and way more fun than simply doing over her own life.

    By not re-enacting your childhood, what your parents created for you, you are embarking on a life experience that will fill you and your child/ren with new ideas, new hope, and keep your parenting “life spark” alive inside of you. Now, I hope you understand that this is merely my idea of a creative forever.  There are no rules, no restrictions, just life unfolding. Will you allow a new unfolding to occur in your family?

    My realization as a parent: My child and I can Co-Create the forever that we wish it to be.

    (Laurie Lankins Farley has worked with Neale Donald Walsch for approximately 10 years. She is the Executive Director of his non-profit The School of the New Spirituality and creative co-director of CwGforParents.com. Laurie has published an inspirational children’s book “The Positive Little Soul.”  She can be contacted at Parenting@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

     

  • Yoga in schools: helpful or harmful?

    The parents of two California grade school students have sued to block the teaching of yoga classes in their children’s physical education class, complaining it promotes eastern religions.  The action was filed by The National Center for Law & Policy, an Escondido, California-based nonprofit “legal defense organization” focusing on “protection and promotion of religious freedom, the sanctity of life, traditional marriage, parental rights and other civil liberties.”

    NCLP attorney Dean R. Broyles filed the lawsuit against the Encinitas Union School District in San Diego County on behalf of plaintiffs Stephen and Jennifer Sedlock, claiming “The program is extremely divisive and has unfortunately led to the harassment, discrimination, bullying and segregation of children who, for good reasons, opt out of the program.”

    The integration of yoga into the physical education program has been highly effective in reducing hyperactivity and stress.  In schools around the nation who are implementing yoga into their health and wellness programs, they are seeing a marked decrease in the number of students who harm others and/or themselves and a reduction in aggressive behaviors which are commonly associated with violence and drug use.  The yoga classes, which incorporate breathing techniques to alleviate stress, promote relaxation, and increase body circulation, have been proven to increase students’ confidence and overall well-being.

    So with all these demonstrated obvious benefits, why would anyone resist such an advantageous program, one that has a proven track record in schools and communities around the world of noticeably enhancing lives in both a physical and emotional way?

    The complaint in this case is citing that the introduction of yoga in the school unlawfully promotes religious beliefs.  The lawsuit objects to eight-limbed tree posters they say are derived from Hindu beliefs, the “Namaste” greeting, and several of the yoga poses that they say represent the worship of Hindu deities.  The plaintiffs are not seeking monetary damages; they are asking for the removal of the program in its entirety from the school’s physical education program.

    In this particular situation, once again, deeply rooted fear-based religious beliefs (ironically, the very thing being protested against) are attempting to crowd out change, an example of inflexible belief systems clinging desperately and fearfully to an Old Cultural Story which embraces an idea that “THEIR way is THE way.”   Or it could be entirely possible that they have NO idea what “their” way even is and just simply believe that “another” way is arbitrarily wrong.

    But why do stories like this continue to exist where the fear that holds this Old Story together is so enmeshed in its antiquated concepts that it prevents those who hold it as true from being able to welcome change, even when such a change has been demonstrated to be beneficial and life-enhancing for so many people?

    Could it be possible that Old Cultural Stories continue to exist because the concepts held within them actually are best?

    If that is so, perhaps there is no place in schools for yoga, and our children should only move their bodies in largely approved and unmistakably pragmatic ways, such as doing jumping jacks or kicking a ball on the playground or, better yet, throwing balls at each other.  Perhaps unruly children who have not learned how to quiet their minds enough to sit in class and pay attention for any length of time should continue to be medicated with mind-numbing drugs and/or sent to the principal’s office repeatedly to be punished for “acting out” in class.  Perhaps children would be better off not knowing how to control their breathing and utilize it as a holistic tool with which to calm themselves in moments of anxiety or pressure.  Maybe, if we wait long enough, the dysfunctional system that we have in place will one day eventually demonstrate itself to be beneficial.  And in the meantime, we should just shelf all these crazy new alternatives that are currently available — and working — for our children.

    The way I see it, if we still did things in alignment with what they thought was “best” when I went to school years ago, our administrators today would be liberally spanking our children with a wooden paddle.  Fortunately, that belief system has changed.  And fortunately, for the students who attend the Encinitas Union School District, they have someone like Superintendent Timothy Baird who is standing behind the yoga program and will continue to offer it to their students because of its health benefits.

    What do you think?

    I say:  Bring on the yoga.

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • Today’s homework assignment:
    your suicide note

    It is not unusual for our children to come home with their backpacks overflowing with homework assignments to complete and projects to create.  But what would you think and how would you feel if you found this assignment in your young child’s school bag:

    “You’ve just turned 18. You’ve decided to end your life. Your decision is definitive.  In a final surge you decide to put in words the reason behind your decision. In the style of a self-portrait, you describe the disgust you have for yourself. Your text will retrace certain events in your life at the origin of these feelings.”

    In the town of Montmoreau-Saint-Cybard, Southwestern France, an unamed teacher handed out this homework note to his 13- and 14-year-old students at the collège Antoine-Delafont.

    The Telegraph reports the French teacher has been suspended after the local school authority found out about the assignment and after a group of outraged parents complained in an anonymous letter to the school, saying they were horrified their children were given the assignment.

    It was further reported in The Telegraph that the president of the FCPE parents’ union in Montmoreau, Christophe Clément, said such a subject is “practically inciting (pupils) to commit suicide.”

    “Jean-Marie Renault, the local education authority head, said the teacher had been officially notified of his suspension, adding: ‘Telling a pupil that he is about to end his life and that he must recount it appears troubling to us.’”

    “Geneviève Fioraso, France’s higher education minister, waded in, saying: ‘If the topic was launched in this way, without accompaniment, without context, it’s dangerous.’”

    However, in spite of the flurry of disapproval surrounding this unique and controversial story, a large group of parents, students, and fellow colleagues have come together in support of this teacher’s actions, asking for the reinstatement of this beloved teacher into the school system.

    One parent asks, “What do you think they talk about in the playground? The images they see on TV are far more shocking.”

    Another parent said, “Suicide is part of daily life. Perhaps the teacher wished to raise their awareness of the issue.”

    The group consensus within the circle of supporters was that the media coverage had been “over the top and inappropriate,” noting that the subject had “not shocked” pupils and it had been “well presented” by the teacher.

    Is it likely that an assignment like this could or would actually cause a young mind to contemplate suicide?

    Or could an assignment like this provide a young mind an opportunity to explore and express a part of themselves that is not touched upon in the day-to-day experiences of their lives?

    If someone truly were on the edge of ending life as we know it to be in this human experience, what insights and truth might that person feel more inclined to share in the absence of suffering the consequences of being judged or ridiculed or ignored?

    Are we limiting the fullest expressions of our children, and ourselves, by restricting what we naturally feel drawn to do – express who we are?  Even when that expression may not be what we expect or want to hear?

    Where does an assignment like this invite us to go?

    And why do we fear going there?

    In the book When Everything Changes, Change Everything, we are taught how our minds draw upon and utilize the past data of our lives to help form the basis of our current reality.  And the way we experience life – reality – will depend upon what type of data we are relying upon.  Perhaps “retracing the events in a child’s life and the origins of their feelings,” as this teacher invited these students to do, will provide to these children at a very tender age an opportunity to understand more fully what source, or data, their thoughts and beliefs are foundationed upon…which would lead them to an understanding of why they might hold any feelings of “disgust” for themselves…which would then present an opportunity to change their thoughts, change their perspectives, and change their beliefs about who they are, thus altering the way in which they experience all of life.

    This type of exploration would serve to remind us that speaking our truth about who we are is not something to be reserved for the end of our lives.  Maybe a child’s limited idea about who they are or any harsh judgments they have placed upon themselves could be transformed into a remembrance and realization of their own significance and purpose in the world within the parameters of one simple yet profound exercise.

    Why would we want to deny anyone that opportunity?

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)

  • Is controversial breastfeeding doll
    ‘over-sexualizing’ our children?

    7-year-old Maggie gently picks up her brand new baby doll and swaddles her tightly in a warm, fuzzy polka-dot blanket.  She tenderly kisses her baby’s tiny forehead and serenades her with a sweet lullaby.  Continuing to affectionately tend to the comfort of her make-believe newborn, Maggie lovingly removes the infant doll’s soiled diaper and replaces it with a fresh clean one and proceeds to her miniature rocking chair, where she patiently and tenderly attempts to comfort her baby doll.  Realizing that her brand-new baby must be hungry, Maggie carefully lifts her baby to her specially designed halter top, which has nipples covered by petal appliqués and sewn-in sensors to simulate suckling sounds, and begins to “breastfeed” her infant doll.

    Maggie’s new doll, The Breast Milk Baby, is creating quite the controversy and has received intense criticism since its introduction into the U.S. market.  Many retailers are refusing to place the Spanish toy company’s product on their shelves even more than a year after its initial release.   Critics claim that the doll “over-sexualizes” young girls and “forces them to grow up too quickly.”   Bill O’Reilly declared on his show, The O’Reilly Factor, “I just want the kids to be kids. And this kind of stuff. We don’t need this.”

    Berjaun Toys’ US representative, Dennis Lewis, says, “We’ve had a lot of support from lots of breastfeeding organizations, lots of mothers, lots of educators. There also has been a lot of blowback from people who maybe haven’t thought to think about really why the doll is there and what its purpose is. Usually they are people that either have problems with breastfeeding in general, or they see it as something sexual.”

    Is The Breast Milk Baby an inappropriately precocious toy for our young daughters to be playing with?  Or is the backlash swirling around this particular baby doll grossly misunderstood and just another symptom of how far off track we have ventured in relation to who we really are?   We walk past a mother cat nursing her kittens and smile at its sweetness; yet we exile new mothers to their cars, we usher them into private rooms, out of the public eye, covered up, to breastfeed their newborn infants in an effort to avoid offending others around her.

    Is it heartwarming to stand witness to a young female, 7 years old, emulating one of the most beloved relationships of all, a mother and her baby, a nurturing Maternal Being providing life-sustaining nourishment to a tiny new life, and appreciating her body’s remarkable ability to be the source of that?   Or is it premature and inappropriate to draw attention to our daughters’ bodies so boldly and unreservedly, encouraging them to express this aspect of their physicality so freely and perhaps in a manner that is too provocative or too sensual?

    If it is the avoidance of “over-sexualization” of our children that we, as a society, are leveraging for, then why are the scantily clad Bratz dolls flying off the shelves and landing in the homes of so many young girls?   If given the choice to purchase a Fashionista Barbie or The Breast Milk Baby for your daughter, which would you choose?   And why?

    The answers to those questions invite a conversation to begin around the issues we are not talking about (sex, intimacy, and love), affording ourselves an opportunity to take a closer look at what it is we are really afraid of and how those fears may be distorting our thoughts and influencing our choices.

    Why do we fear our children learning about, talking about, and embracing their bodies, and understanding the purpose for which they were created?  Why are we attaching the same thick layers of shame and stigma to something so natural and meaningful as breastfeeding that we’ve sadly used to suffocate our own sexuality?

    Dysfunction thrives in an environment of restrictions and conditions, where the essence of who we are is stifled, unexpressed, forgotten.  Love unexpressed mutates into a “conditioned” version of love.  Sexuality ignored mutates into shame and confusion, rendering ourselves unable to appreciate and celebrate each aspect of our divinity fully, blurring the lines between who we think we should be and who we actually are…and what we imagine is happening and what is really going on.

    What will YOU do if this particular toy finds its way to your child’s Christmas or birthday “wish list”?

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)