The Global Conversation

Tag: rehab

  • Family Addiction: It affects us all

    (This week’s Addiction Column is hosting an article submitted by Cathy Taughinbaugh, Founder of “Treatment Talk.”)

    I am the parent of a former addict.

    When my daughter was 19, I realized she was addicted to crystal meth.  It was late spring and she should have been finishing her sophomore year at college, but instead, because of her addiction, she was no longer attending classes.  She had taken a job washing dogs and she had just been fired.

    Through the years, I’ve asked myself why I didn’t know that my daughter was using drugs. As it turns out, she had been using on and off for the past four years, including her last two years of high school.

    I found crystal meth in her backpack in the fall of her senior year.  We had it identified, so we knew for sure what the drug was.  Her father and I sat her down and listened carefully as she explained through her tears that she was holding it for her friends and that she did not use the drug.  She said she would never do it again.

    I honestly believe that she didn’t use again.  For awhile.

    As parents, we were shocked, frightened, and angry that she had made this choice to use drugs.  We were filled with shame, and clearly in denial.  We were naive to think that our little talk would make any difference in my daughter’s future choices.

    She was grounded for a few weeks.  She did attend a therapy appointment, but that didn’t go well, so we discontinued it.  I try to stop myself, but I do occasionally think back on what we didn’t do: We didn’t drug test her.  We didn’t send her to a drug education program.  We didn’t change her environment.  We did not regularly check her backpack and room, because if I’m brutally honest, I was too scared of what I would find.

    There were a few minor infractions after that incident, but she kept her curfew, was accepted to college, and seemed to be functioning as a normal teenager.

    I know now why I was in denial during that time.  It is difficult to face a problem when you don’t have the answers.  Drug use was new territory for me.  I had never had any family member addicted and didn’t have a clue about crystal meth. Although I know now that I didn’t cause it, at the time, I didn’t want to face my role in my daughter’s addiction.

    So like many parents, I continued on in my comfort zone.  I wanted to continue the close relationship with my daughter and was not sure how to do that and be the drug warden at the same time.

    But when she was almost 20 years old, her drug use became clear and that’s when I jumped into action.  I called a few close friends that I thought could give me some guidance and help.

    We found an educational consultant who put us on a path to healing.  She agreed to treatment, and within one week she was on a plane to Utah to attend a Wilderness program for five weeks and then on to Southern California where she was in treatment for another three months.  Finally, she lived in a sober home for six months.

    Her program included getting a job and/or attending college.  She did both and graduated from a local state university.  A part-time job in a grocery store helped pay expenses while going back to school.

    Today, I am a grateful parent.  My daughter has continued in long-term recovery and is doing well.  We both realized, first and foremost, that we needed to face our reality, change and grow.

    Having an addicted child is not what any mom dreams for her child.  This was the last thing I expected.  The emotional exhaustion sends you down a devastating path.  It is a journey to find your way back.  The financial costs took my breath away.

    For any family thrown into the midst of their child’s addiction, you feel the full range of emotions throughout the experience.  From anxiety, to anger, frustration, sadness and grief, the emotions can consume you if you let them.  You have to say goodbye to the child that once was and accept this new person whose life has become chaotic and unmanageable.

    The control of your life that you once had is now gone.  You know inside that you’ve also lost the power to make a difference in your child’s life while they are in the midst of their addiction.

    Just like any addicted person, finding a spiritual side to my life and seeking the support of others is what saved me.  It gave me the courage to ask for help, the strength to walk into that first Al-Anon meeting and the understanding that there was hope for my family.

    Self care and support was essential for me.  Addiction is draining on everyone but particularly those closest to the addict.  As they say in the airlines, put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others.  This is exactly what you need to do when you are dealing with your child’s drug or alcohol dependence.  Work on healing yourself first before you try and heal your child.

    My daughter has moved on with her life and doesn’t discuss her addiction often. She knows, however, that life can be hard due to poor choices and the disease of addiction.  She also knows that there is always hope.

    We both realized that our lives could change when we were ready to dig deep, overcome our fear and take on the challenge to begin again.

    CathyT(Cathy Taughinbaugh is a Parent Recovery and Life Coach and Founder of Treatment Talk, a website dedicated to sharing and support for addiction, recovery and treatment. Cathy is committed to educating parents, young adults and teens about the dangers of substance abuse.)

  • The uphill climb from the bottom

    There I was, walking away from my family and towards the detox ward of the hospital. Overwhelming fear, coupled with a hangover and sense of humiliation, weighing on my thoughts and my body.  So many questions running through my head: What is this going to be like?  What are they going to do to me?  How can I get out of this?  Where would I go?  What have I gotten myself into?  I was walking into the complete unknown, and I was afraid.

    I remember very clearly the first thing that took place.  I was greeted by the doctor who ran the detox.  His name was Dr. D’ Amico.  He explained that I would be wearing the typical hospital gown; you know the one that is open in the back and ties around your waste.  He gave his reason for this: “You are sick.  You are suffering from a disease; therefore, you will be treated as any other person who is sick.”  This was my first real introduction to addiction as a disease.

    After changing into the hospital gown, the nurse took all of  my possessions, shoes and socks, clothing, and cigarettes.  There was no smoking in the hospital detox.  I was led to my room, basically an open area where there were two beds sectioned off from the rest of the hospital by only a curtain.  The curtain remained open all the time.

    I was tired and worn down.  Looking back, I felt relief to be out of the cycle of addiction and the pace of the life I had created.  A nurse came to my bed, bringing medication.  And I was told that because alcohol was one of the drugs I was withdrawing from, I had to take anti-seizure medicine.  Alcohol withdrawal is the most dangerous drug to withdraw from.

    My second day in detox was more challenging.  I was already feeling much better after a good night’s sleep and nutritious meals.  Feeling better sounds like a good thing, but for a person who is addicted, feeling good and healthy typically means that it is okay to start using again.  And that is exactly what I was thinking:  “I don’t need this.  I can do it myself.”  I don’t remember saying that, but I would not be surprised if I did, as I know I was thinking it!

    My addictive behavior did not end in the detox.  After the second day, when the nurse would deliver the anti-seizure medicine, I would store it under my tongue until she left the room.  I would quickly remove it and hide it under my pillow for future use.  I was saving it up so I could take more than one and hopefully get high.  Looking back on this behavior reminds me that I was not just a “normal” kid who liked to party a little too much.

    It was pre-arranged that I would go directly from detox to a 28-day inpatient treatment facility.  This is a very common procedure, because by the seventh day of detox, I was feeling on top of the world physically and mentally.  I was very resistant to going to a rehabilitation center.  (Most of the people who do not go directly to rehab relapse and begin using again shortly after their release from the hospital.)  After a brief intervention with my parents and the doctor, I agreed to proceed as planned.

    It is my hope that in the telling of my personal story here someone reading this will have a greater understanding of how to navigate early recovery either for them or for a loved one.  Alcoholics and drug addicts will convince themselves and everyone else that they just need to break the cycle of using and they will be fine.  I am here to tell you it just isn’t so.  Abstinence is not recovery!  And except for extremely rare cases, abstinence does not maintain.  For those who do simply abstain from using their drugs of choice without employing some form of self-improvement program, long-term recovery is much less likely to happen.  It is the addictive behavior that must be addressed.  The drugs are simply the symptom of a far greater issue.  I was not plotting my next binge when I was saving up the medication for “one last high”;  I was exhibiting the behavior of an addict.

    Addictive personalities do not simply go away with time.  It is debatable whether or not they ever go away.  From my personal experience in recovery, irrational thinking, obsessions, desire for instant gratification do not disappear from the recovering addict’s life.  What does go away is the obsession to use drugs and alcohol.  It does dissolve immediately.  For some, it can take years.  But the transformation does take place.

    The motto of the recovery community is “One day at a time.”  Indeed, this is the basis for most programs that deal with addictions.  And what a wonderful way to live life it is.  When we seek to keep things simple and we stop projecting our thoughts into the future or wishing the past was different, we remember that all we have is the breath we are taking this very moment of now.  We have the power to change who we are right now, but not by fretting over the past or fearing what may come next.  When we live one moment at a time in the awareness that the past is the past and the future is unwritten, we find our peace.  This is recovery.

    (Kevin McCormack C.A.d Is a certified addictions professional, as well as a Conversations with God Life Coach.  Kevin is a practicing Auriculotherapist, and a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net.  Kevin will be presenting at the CwG Recovery Retreat in Medford Oregon June 23rd – June 26th.  You can visit his website at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com  To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)

  • The bottom – up close and personal

    Little did I know when I woke up hung over and in a fog, Wednesday, May 27, 1987, what this day would hold for me.  What I did know is that it would not be a normal day, nor a comfortable day.  I could not have known, foreseen, or imagined how important this day would end up being in my life.  The challenge for me was that  I had an appointment with a counselor who was going to evaluate me on behalf of the New York State Department of Transportation’s “Drinking and Driving” program to determine if I fit their profile of an alcoholic.

    My task was to see to it that I did not meet their criteria for an alcoholic, by any means necessary.  You see, I knew I had a drinking problem, but I could not let someone else tell me this.  I had been defending myself against these allegations for a few years, mainly from my family.  I had to be right, and being right meant I had to lie.  And on this day, I had to convince a professional that I was simply a recreational user, so I needed to put my best foot forward.

    I was well aware of this 9 am appointment in advance.  I made the appointment myself, and my family took it upon themselves to remind me of it.  They also warned me that going out  to the bar after work that night (like I did every night) was not a good idea.  I begged to differ.  So I went out as I usually did; and to this day, I could not tell you what I did, how much I drank, or who I was with that night.  I believe I must have blacked out very early.

    I was mandated to the New York State “Drinking and Driving” program due to a DUI I had been convicted of roughly six months prior.  At the time of my arrest, I was 20 years old, not of legal age to drink in New York.  I had to go to a special class one day per week for 10 weeks to learn about the dangers of drinking and driving.  Part of the curriculum of this class was a psychological test that was designed to determine the potential for alcoholism.  The questions on this test seemed very normal to me, so I did my best to answer them as a “non-alcoholic” would answer.

    Feeling pretty good about my ability to get over on the system, I was shocked and angered to find out I did not “pass” this test.  I was told that I was at high risk for alcoholism based upon some of my answers.  One of the answers that I got “wrong” was to the following question:  Do you have night sweats?  Well, I am a smart guy and I know that everyone sweats, so I answered yes.  Now, apparently this was a trick question…. How in hell did they know that I would wake up in the morning and there would be a soaking wet imprint of me on my sheets?  Apparently not everyone sweats profusely at night!  Who knew?

    So now here it is, the morning of this looming appointment.  I am hung over.  My parents (who are not drinkers) are shocked that I would take such little care of myself prior to this appointment.  On this night, they had been waiting for me to get home, as they sometimes did, most likely in fear that I would not make it home.  This night was much like the rest; I staggered through the door sometime around 4:30 am.  I do not recall what, if any, interaction took place at that time.  After getting about three hours of sleep, my parents awoke me to get ready for my appointment.

    My father drove me to the place where I was to have my session, probably because they wanted to make sure I went through with it, but also because I was likely still intoxicated from the night I had just spent drinking.  There was also a “higher” reason for him to be there, which will be revealed to you shortly.

    I remember what happened next as if it happened just this morning.  The details are surprisingly sharp in my mind even though it is almost 26 years later.  I walked up to the receptions area and announced who I was and who I was there to see.  The receptionist looked through the appointment book and turned a few pages.  She asked me again who I was there to see and what my name was.  She asked me to wait there for a minute while she checked with the counselor.  When the receptionist returned, she stated very bluntly that the reason she did not have me on her list for that day was because my appointment was scheduled a week prior.  I had missed my scheduled appointment!

    My mind went suddenly blank and my heart sank to my stomach.  I turned to my father and spoke the words that would set in motion the most profound change my young life had experienced, “Dad, I am ready to go to rehab.”  This request had come from “out of the blue” as I had been battling with my parents about my drinking and their desire for me to get help.  I had steadfastly denied any problem, using the old adage, “I can quit anytime I want.”

             “Dad, I am ready to go to rehab.”

    For me to ask for help at that moment in time was, in my opinion, a Divine intervention.  I had not considered making such a change in my life at any time.  I was valued in my workplace even though my employer knew full well what my lifestyle was.  I also enjoyed my job very much and was in fear that being away for a week, or, God forbid, a month, may jeopardize my employment.

    Hitting bottom for me came as a surprise.  Speaking the words “I am ready” came out of my body as if a spirit guide had thrust itself into the physical realm and did for me what I could not do for myself.  This is the moment of pure creation that I am so incredibly grateful for till this day.

    I had no idea at the time what I was getting myself into.  I had heard about rehabs, and I had even attended a few minutes of an AA meeting once because a friend of mine had been mandated by the Courts to go.  I really did not know much more about where I was heading and how profoundly my life would change.  What I did know is that I was tired, and I was feeling like I had quite possibly made a mistake that New York State might have punished me for.  For the first time, I was afraid that I had become exactly what most everyone who knew me knew I was:  an addict.

    I shared this story with you here to show the depth of where I was at in my life at the age of 21.  Everybody’s bottom is different; and for some, the bottom is death of their physical body.  My bottom may be considered by some to be a “shallow” bottom.  What this means is that I did not lose much in the way of material possessions.  I didn’t completely alienate my family and friends.  I was not living on the streets, begging for money so that I could pay for my drug of choice.

    I was at the place that was perfect for me to transition my life path.  My soul gave me the exact right situation, with the exact perfect people, in the one place and time that I would be able to make the choice to change.  Nothing happens in this world by coincidence. And for me, it is very clear that my story can make a difference in the lives of other people suffering with the pain of addiction.

    I will be sharing with you in this series of blogs what the first year of recovery was like for me.  Although we all have our own path to freedom, I believe there are some very important decisions that enabled me to remain substance-free through the trials and tribulations of early recovery.  So stay tuned to learn more about me through my experience of getting clean and staying sober.  I thank you for being here to read this and hope that these words of my personal journey to recovery may inspire you or someone you know to make that hard choice to move into the unknown.

    The next article will describe my seven days in the detoxification ward of the Ellenville New York Hospital.

    (Kevin McCormack, C.A.d, is a certified addictions professional, as well as a Conversations with God Life Coach, and a Spiritual helper on www.changingchange.net.  You can visit his website for more information at www.Kevin-Spiritualmentor.com  To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@theglobalconversation.com)

  • Using the body to heal the mind
    in addiction treatment

    (This article was contributed by Guest Author Herby Bell, DC)

    Substance and behavior abuse have reached epidemic proportions in our country. This, coupled with the emotional repression and stress associated with living in our outside-in consumer culture, has produced America’s number 1 health challenge: Addiction.

    The cost of treatment, the repercussions on society and our family structures are devastating, not to mention the high number of ancillary deaths that are directly associated with the disease of addiction – from auto accidents to heart failure.

    It is a well-known statistic that only 25% of those who seek addiction treatment have successful results. In other words, 75%, or 3 out of 4, of the individuals who do seek treatment for addiction fail and fall back into the seemingly endless revolving door of relapse-remission-relapse from this destructive brain disorder. The strongest implication is that the culture that fosters addiction, begets addiction.

    In lieu of reinventing our culture, but in the spirit of re-visioning addiction treatment, it is time to try different approaches and combinations of approaches when it comes to addiction recovery.

    Addiction is a mind-body-spirit disorder, as spelled out by the mainstream, American Medical Association’s, American Society of Addiction Medicine (http://www.asam.org/for-the-public/definition-of-addiction). It stands to reason that its treatment should include mind, body and spiritual modalities as an integrated, comprehensive approach.

    The “target organ” for addiction is the brain (just as the pancreas is the target organ for diabetes) and specifically the meso-limbic or mid-brain. Historically, addiction treatment has focused upon healing the mind with brain treatment modalities like psychotherapy and drug therapy.

    Since 1935, and while there are many other approaches, Alcoholics Anonymous has been the mainstay for the “spiritual” piece in the equation.

    But in keeping with a more comprehensive approach, what about an integral modality that focuses attention on the physical body – mind-body-spirit? – equally, and as important as the mind and the spirit? Can the body contribute to healing the mind and the spirit?

    After all, the body is truly an extension of the mind–an actual projected map of the brain–with remarkable knowledge, wisdom and inherent healing and recuperative capabilities from head to toe. Our bodies are veritable learning domains. Ever had a “gut feeling?” In fact, most of the receptor sites for many neurotransmitters–the “well-being” brain chemicals–are in the gut and not in the brain proper.

    No wonder then, and who has not felt remarkably inspired and well, after exercising the body as it releases all of these inherent, feel-good chemicals? A neverending feedback loop from the brain to the body, and vice-versa, inform every fiber of our beings every moment we live.

    Intervening at the level of the body through techniques that deliberately remove interference from this pristine system is unfortunately just what the present-day addiction doctor is not ordering. Chiropractic care is just such an indicated and effective approach and often a missing link in the addiction treatment community. Chiropractic helps ensure that a clear, uninterrupted signal is getting from the brain to all of the body parts and back to the brain again. And people who undergo chiropractic care are taught that without good lifestyle habits, including flexibility, strength and cardiovascular exercise, good nutrition and a psychological/spiritual practice–chiropractic care is incomplete and will be less effective.

    Similarly, the same “missing piece” dynamic holds true for what’s missing in addiction treatment, and chiropractic care addresses the “body” piece of the mind-body-spirit equation effectively and seamlessly. Chiropractic is not a panacea but a time and cost-efficient, conservative, minimally invasive way to bridge this gap in addiction treatment.

    The idea of wedding mind and body approaches to healing is not a new one. For centuries and long before the first traces of modern science, healing arts practitioners from the mainstream to the esoteric alike have acknowledged that the way people felt in their minds could influence the way they responded in their bodies–and vice-versa.

    There is no separation of body and mind, and we are just coming to understand how profoundly and inextricably entwined these two parts of our being, along with spirit, interact in communion for our well-being.

    Including chiropractic care in a comprehensive addiction treatment protocol, especially in the first 90 days of treatment, is important for the following reasons:

    Providing human touch/compassion fostering neuroplasticity to help “re-write” dysfunctional brain circuitry

    Removes interference from normal nerve function

    Reduces anxiety and depression

    Better sleep patterns

    Decreases use of chemical pain relievers and psychiatric drugs

    Greater sense of well-being

    Increases energy levels

    Decreases stress levels

    Decreases joint and muscle pain

    A mind-body-spirit approach to addiction is synergistic in action.  In other words, the sum total is greater than its parts. As our health systems and institutions move from the compartmentalized, mechanistic approach of yesterday to the integrated, vitalistic, and holistic framework of today, let the mind-body-spirit approach of addiction medicine and treatment help blaze this new trail by incorporating in this endeavor the largest, drugless, hands-on healing profession in the world: chiropractic.

    (Dr. Herby Bell is owner and director of Recovery Health Care, an integrated approach to addiction treatment in Redwood City, California. For more information, please email: herbybell@me.com)