The Global Conversation

Tag: Social Life

  • The Social Butterfly: Transforming the Teenage Soul Series Part 3

    Part 3: Beliefs behind Boston

    In the wake of the Boston Marathon Tragedy, two suspects were quickly identified. Tamerlan Tsarnaev, a former champion boxer, was the clear leader of the operation. Yet Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, also known as Suspect #2, is the one who seems to be on everybody’s mind. Why? Because at only 19 years old, Dzhokhar has committed one of the worst terrorism assaults on American soil of this century. How, and Why, could a teenager commit such a horrible atrocity?   

    Throughout all the numerous reports on Dzhokhar’s interrogations, it has been noted repeatedly that his brother Tamerlane influenced and recruited him to participate in the bombing plot. Clearly, at some point in his journey, Dzhokhar became fully immersed and decided to partake in his brother’s radical activities. Was this his true sense of self? We’re not sure, but certainly this was not his highest sense of self.

    The reason why I’ve decided to include this topic in this series is because it has everything to do with teenagers handling social sway and group dynamics. The level of immersion that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev had with Tamerlan’s ideology was very, very, deep; so deep, in fact, that he lost the light of reason. The influence of his brother, Tamerlan Tsarnaev, had become too ingrained into Dzhokhar’s physical, psychological, and (this hurts) spiritual perspective for him to remain uninvolved. Whatever “dream” Dzhokhar had, supposedly to finish medical school and become a doctor, became overshadowed by his fixation with this terrorist thought. With his brother’s strong presence, Dzhokhar’s own presence seems to have been completely overshadowed. With Dzhokhar’s situation, I realized that his social dynamics could be broken down into a simple formula:

    Immersion + Influence = Extremism (aka Complete Loss of Choice)

    This same level is not only reflected in the Boston Bombings, but also in the lives of teens across the world. This group extremism can manifest itself violently in gangs, or it can appear much more subtly in athletics, Greek life, and other cliques. Gang activity and its influence on teenagers can be seen in the cities of Chicago, London, Cape Town, and even Beijing. In both small villages and vast megacities, teens are falling out of grace and falling in with the wrong crowd. And, like every parent fears, teens are making decisions that are extremely opposite of their highest potential.

    My question for teens, and especially for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, is simply this: what group is so worth being involved in that you lose yourself? If it is simply a matter of trying to be “cool,” it is not worth it. If it is a way to be “fun”, it is not worth it.  If it is the best attempt to be “popular,” it is not worth it.  The Self – the mind, the body, the spirit – is the beautiful manifestation of your consciousness. Why dilute it with someone else’s ideas to create a darker vision of an inferior version of you? Teens have the choice, and they can choose Who They Are in the context of every situation.

    Some teens, however, still don’t believe that they have power in their choices. Using the equation from above, there is a way to incorporate choice into those beliefs: through the power of detachment.

    –          If you are in a situation where you cannot avoid the influence, choose not to become immersed. You can observe the beliefs and actions of the group, but decide not to become involved if the group’s direction does not match the direction of your own moral compass. Giving healthy distance will keep immersion from becoming over powerful.

    –          If you are in a situation where you cannot avoid immersion, decide not to become influenced. Deciding to act as an individual within a group is not an easy task, but it is manageable. Remember your core beliefs, and your sense of self, will keep you on your path.  

    –          If you are in a situation where you have experienced both high levels of immersion and influence, make a conscious effort to detach yourself from the situation as frequently as possible. By taking a moment of step outside the group/gang/ideology, the activities and beliefs of the group/gang/ideology can be reviewed holistically, or as a whole. Through analyzing what’s really being said and what’s really going, it becomes very clear on what is truly happening, and whether or not you want to fully embody the group’s purpose in your own life.  

    With this in mind, we can stay true to our own physical, psychological, and spiritual beliefs. Instead of falling under the influence, we can choose to be guided by our own self in our own decisions. Having the awareness to know who and what is in control of the group, and possibly you, is vital in remaining centered with your own state of being. With this in place and present, the world can make sure that there will never be another Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.  

    (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • The Social Butterfly: Transforming the Teenage Soul Series Part 2

    Part 2: Get off the Wall and Raise the Roof!!

    In the teenage years, both scientists in white lab coats and psychologists in tan khakis pants tell us that we undergo a complete “identity crisis” of Who We Are. With such a high level of uncertainty in our own lives, we do the most logical thing possible: attach on to our even more unstable peers. As a result of this decision, we begin to rely on our associations to guide us on what to do, how to think, and the way to act. Regardless of the type of group we decide to fall into, we quickly note that there is a policy for “right” and “wrong” behavior. Some groups have this explicitly written out, while others are much more subtle in their unwritten codes. So, has this changed, or are things still the same?

    Even as our society becomes more accepting, the norms still persist. Unfortunately, more and more people still seem to be following these unwritten codes concerning race, gender, and intellect quite religiously. No matter how absurd the notions are, most teenage lives are filled with these crazy lists of expectations, rules, and rituals outlining what “can” and “can’t” be done. We fall in line with group ‘peersonality’ so unobjectively because we want to make the group happy, which, in turn, is supposed to eventually make us happy. In sake of the group/culture/society we belong to, we sacrifice our own instantaneous happiness to let the group/culture/society prosper. The most common dogma for this, in popular culture and political culture, is simply “For the Greater Good.”

     As a result of following this doctrine, if you would like, we are becoming the true definition of a wallflower. Not socially inhibited, but rather, spiritually inhibited. A wallflower can occur in two primary settings: never being oneself to a group, or never being oneself in a group. Both are dangerous forms of conformity. By sacrificing our own personal desires to be with the group on the sidelines of life, we miss out on an immense number of opportunities to expand our awareness and fulfill our potential. We all hold the ability to grow and thrive, but have yet to detach ourselves from the wall to blossom in the glory of the sun.

    To truly live off the wall, my philosophy has been to be as proactive in my own happiness as possible – essentially, not being afraid to do the things that make me happy instead of the group happy. By realizing what I desire does not always fit what the group desires, I recognized that a level of independence and detachment is clearly needed. Deciding to do life differently has made a massive impact on the ability to simply Be Happy.. Instead of suppressing these roles to conform to example, I have decided to take matters into my own hand, and have sculpted my own fate. Without worrying about the group, but rather the individual, I have created my own story.

    Oddly enough, by creating my own story, I am changing the cultural story as a result. By being proactive, I have seemed to unintentionally challenge traditional gender roles. By deciding to make decisions in my life that included competing in the male dominated speaking event, majoring in Civil Engineering, and asking the guy of my choice to prom, I have broken some pretty standard societal norms and have actually gained a high level of respect for my actions. Despite all this glass ceiling breaking, I’m not even a feminist. I’m just a forward thinker. As a result of my journey, I am changing opinions, and changing stories. By raising my awareness of what I can accomplish, I am also raising the opinion of others around me as well. Showing that there is another way is just as empowering as living that other way. And that is when the individual AND the collective prosper. No wallflowers needed.  

    While this week’s message is identifiable on multiple different levels, the core idea “be who YOU wish to be” still applies to the social spectrum. By disregarding the Old Cultural Story’s standards, and deciding to live your life in the highest definition of who you are, you can enjoy every minute of life as a participant, not a spectator. So expand yourself – and raise the roof of your own group’s expectations.

     (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • The Social Butterfly: Transforming the Teenage Soul Series Part 1

    Part 1: Soul vs. Society – there can only Be One    

    Since October, I’ve had an ample opportunity to write about a pretty wide range of topics. However, as I reflect upon my own work, I realized that there is a topic I haven’t even touched that is central to every teen’s journey: their social life. Expectations, anxieties, conformities…all are very real issues that teens face on a daily basis. When facing such pressures from our own friends (not even mentioning from adults), our grandest version of ourselves becomes blurred with the greatest vision of themselves. With a strong level of emotional attachment, these versions undergo so many alterations that it gets to a point where we don’t even remember Who We Are anymore. And when we forget Who We Are….we forget Why. And How. And Love. And Life. Yikes.

    As a result of this seemingly increasing likelihood, the following question has often been posed: In the twenty-first century, is it possible for teens to have a spiritual life and a social life? And the answer, as always, is yes. From even the most pragmatic point of view, the teenage experience is our very own REVOLUTION EVOLUTION. As we make the transition from “childhood” to “adulthood,” we not only evolve into maturity (or at least some state resembling maturity), but we also adopt and adapt to an entirely new set of beliefs and values. It’s not a question of if it will happen, but rather a question of how it will happen. And so this is the question I pose to this generation’s teenagers: how will we become one in society?

    In the highest spiritual sense, we must be one within society, not without. Being one does not mean one or the other, it means being one within the other.  As American Transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson reflected in his essay Self-Reliance, “It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude”. Understanding Who You Are, but still being a part of something greater, is the natural balance of spirituality and society. For the journey of the soul is NOT just of the individual spirit, but also of the collective consciousness. When both are in a heightened state, then the evolution of ALL life is accelerated.

    While we undergo our own evolution, teens should know their own level of empowerment to work spiritually within society. Frankly, as with the majority of the human race, teenagers ARE social beings that desire company, especially company that elevates their awareness. Presence does make a difference. Instead of continuing to feed into the belief that bliss is only achieved under a solidary bonsai tree, be it yourself, in every situation. Feel the energy in the room, and if you don’t like it, change it. Let your own wonderful beingness be the center of everywhere you go. Bring your own level of awareness, and let the rest just elevate to you.   

    In the following weeks, the transformation (or rather, the metamorphosis) of the teenager – at the social level – will be further explored. Compared to these dramatic transformations, the journey from the hungry hungry caterpillar to the delicate butterfly seems trifle in comparison. With insight, intention, and awareness, even the teenage years can be in balance.  

    (Lauren is a Feature Editor of The Global Conversation. She lives in Wood Dale, IL, and can be reached at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com)