The Global Conversation

Tag: suffering

  • My Will be done

    My life is in a period of transition, and I couldn’t be happier.  Change is inevitable and oftentimes met with resistance.  Spiritual teachers profess that happiness can be maintained through life changes by letting go of our resistance to them.  Suffering is the result of our unwillingness to accept the transformations as they occur.  Mastery is the result of intentionally inviting change into our lives.

    Suffering is the result of our unwillingness to accept the transformations as they occur.

    I have reached the point of mastery in my trade without really even knowing I was doing so.  18 years ago, I had my own business subcontracting window treatment installations for decorators and designers in a highly affluent area of New York.  I was very good with my hands and was very successful as a drapery and blind installer.  I had trained to be an interior plantation shutter installer and fell in love with doing those installations. The pay was fantastic, but it was the physical challenges and rewards I really loved.

    Very quickly I became the number one installer in the greater New York area, receiving recommendations by the top shutter manufactures and their wholesalers.  Shutters where not terribly popular in the Northeast back then.  And to this day, they still are not nearly as sought after there as they are in the southern and western states of the U.S.  But it was my dream to be just a shutter installer full time.

    My business was very successful and financially rewarding. I enjoyed being my own boss.  At the young age of 30, I was doing pretty well.

    One day, my then wife came home with the news that she had a great offer to work for a large entertainment company in Orlando, Florida.  She asked me if I was willing to move, and without hesitation, I said yes!  I had never really considered moving from New York, especially to Florida, but I knew that Florida was a good market for shutters.  Three months later, I was living in the Sunshine State.

    As soon as I hit the ground in Orlando, I cracked open the phone book and started calling shutter companies to see if any of them needed an installer. I landed a job the very next day.

    My time at that job was very short, as I did not resonate with the owner and the product they were using.  I had grown accustomed to working with the very finest shutters in the business and found my standards to be above what that company was used to.  So I turned to the company that had been recommended to me and I gave them a call.  Two days later, I would start working for them.

    It has now been 18 years for me with that company and I feel blessed beyond words to have had the opportunity to do what I truly love doing.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I manifested my desires and the universe was more than willing to oblige me.  I have mastered my trade at the highest level because I followed my passion and truly believed that it was possible for me when the opportunity to move presented itself.

    I have now come full circle with installing shutters.  I have worked in every aspect of the shutter industry and feel that my time here is nearly complete.  A little over a year ago, I went to my employer and told him that I was beginning to prepare for my next career and that I would likely only be with him for another year.  Now, that year has turned into almost 2, but my plans have not changed.  I told him that the one last thing I wished to accomplish was training a suitable replacement for myself.

    I can feel the universe lining up once again in my favor as I invite this change fearlessly into my life.  For the last two weeks, I have been training a new installer, and it appears that he may, in fact, have the very same drive I had over 18 years ago.

    A dear friend once told me that he would much rather initiate change in his own life than have life impose its changes upon him.  I couldn’t agree more.  I understand that sometimes change comes in uninvited.

    All change is for the better, and even though we may not see that, time will always reveal this great truth.  Today, when I was remembering my decision to move to Florida, I saw the perfection in life and knew that it wasn’t simply luck or coincidence; it was the result of pure desire and passion. If time has not revealed the gift of your change, you are simply not ready to view it yet.

    I eagerly await the transition that I am currently under.  At times I think, “Why isn’t this coming faster?”  “What am I doing wrong?”  And then I look back and realize that it just isn’t time yet.  I am doing all the right things.  How do I know this?  Because once again, I am following my passion and my desire, and experience tells me this works.

    I try to do something every day that moves me in the direction that I desire to go.  I surround myself with people who will support me in my journey.  I have taken courses to expand my knowledge of the industry I am choosing to be in and feel prepared to seamlessly transition into my next career.  Indeed, I am already doing it!

    We are powerful creators as human beings.  Many times we do not credit ourselves enough for the things in our life that bring us joy.  Without having the belief that these things can be ours, we will never have them.

    Join us Path to Peace recovery retreat in Orlando, Florida, October 24 – 27th.  JR Westen and myself are taking the messages found within the ”Conversations with God”  Cosmology, along with our combined 53 years of personal recovery from alcohol, drug, and food addictions, and offering these retreats as a means of returning people to their authentic selves.  We understand the difficulty people face with overcoming these challenges in life and offer a simple, compassionate, and effective means of living a happy, joyous, and free life. These retreats are not simply a weekend long reprieve from our troubles.  Each attendee will be introduced to past and future participants through our community Facebook page.  In addition, any past participant can attend any future P2P retreat for any donation they wish to make.  You read that right – any donation, from $1 to infinity.  We have seen the lives of people change and remain changed from these retreats.  If this is for you, click here to register.

    We understand that there may be financial hardships keeping you from attending this retreat.  If you feel you would benefit from this retreat but cannot afford it, please contact Will@cwg.org and ask about our scholarships.  It is our deepest desire to help those who truly seek change and we want nothing to stand in the way of that.

    (Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist.  He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. You can visit his website here for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)

     

  • I’m lost and I feel like I’m nothing special

    I’ve seen too much suffering in the world and tried to commit suicide twice when I was young. Today, I’m lost. I’ve tried every church denomination I could find so I’m finally seeking help from a psychiatrist. I take too many meds just to keep me calm and sane. I am trying to find out how to find the peace that I lost along the way. I was never encouraged to do much with my life from my parents. Mediocre was okay. And teachers thought I was just another run of the mill student. Nothing special. So I’m nothing special. And that’s the way I feel. Just another cog, on meds to keep me working… Dan

    Dear Dan… Yours is a very common spiritual problem. You simply don’t understand some things about Life, the understanding of which would change everything. And the things you don’t understand are fundamental questions about how life works the way it does.

    All suffering comes from thought—the thought that things shouldn’t be happening the way they are. We all think this way until we come to larger understandings of the processes of Life. When we realize that our souls call forth the perfect people, places, and events to give us opportunities for growth and expression, we can more easily accept the cruelties of the physical world.

    Do you know who you are, Dan? You are an angel on this Earth, in physical form. Nothing special? I don’t think so, Dan, not for one second. You are an individuated aspect of God, as are we all, and you are capable of embracing the same “Five Attitudes of God”, which according to CWG are these: God is always Joyful, Loving, Accepting, Blessing and Grateful. Since you are part of God, these qualities are are your natural states of being, as well. It is just a matter of choosing thoughts that embody these attitudes no matter what is happening—choosing to consciously marry your mind with your soul’s highest knowing of Who You Really Are and What’s Really Going On Here.

    The way to do this is to be still and go within, often. Yes, I know the mind wants to jump all over the place when we meditate… at first. Learning to be still so we can commune with God/our Soul/our Higher Knowing takes practice, but in my experience, it is the only way to find lasting inner peace and happiness. When we go within we open ourselves to hearing what God is trying to communicate to us so that we can create our life in the happiest, most fulfilling way.

    Do you know that life is meant to be happy, Dan? It is, and it can be, I assure you. Please read Neale’s wonderful book, Happier Than God, for some clear ways to move toward the joy that you naturally are.

    And last, but not least, please begin to take your mind’s emphasis off yourself, and look to see how you can be a blessing to everyone you come into contact with. The world needs the very special uniqueness that is you, Dan. You will find that as you do what you can to uplift others, you also uplift yourself in the process.

    (Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

    An additional resource:  The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.

  • Why Did I Create All of This Pain?

    Last year there were many changes in my life. My husband and I went into bankruptcy. My marriage ended against my will, I left my husband after 20 years together still loving him.  I returned to my parents’ house in another continent, where living conditions have nothing to do with Europe. One of my daughters went to heaven.  All I’m assimilating the best I can, knowing that everything was produced by me. But I want to know what my daughter in heaven thinks or feels about me. Was it necessary to live all that pain? How I can make my life from now on one not through pain? Please explain what I did wrong and how to correct. My two children that I still have with me need and deserve a good mother, to accompany this process in the best possible way.

    ~ Maria

    Maria,

    Thank you for reaching out.  I am very sorry to hear of all the pain you have experienced in the past year or so, my heart goes out to you, especially in the loss of your daughter.

    Hear me when I say you did nothing wrong.  This is not your fault.  There is nothing to “correct”.

    Here is the misunderstanding about creating our experience that I see many people have: while it is true that we are the creators of our experience, we are not necessarily the creators of the events that show up in our lives.  Rather, we are co-creators of the events that show up in our lives.  Each and every person that experiences an event with us has played a part in creating the event itself.  For example, if you experience the event of a car accident, it was not created by you alone.  It was co-created by everyone who was impacted by it: the other car involved, the witnesses who saw it happen, your friends and family who are concerned and who you may have told about it, even the people who built the road that the accident happened on.  Our role as conscious creators is how we choose to experience an event, how we choose to experience the car accident.  Does this make sense?

    So let me be very clear, it is not your fault that your daughter passed on, you did not cause that.  And I can tell you with utter certainty that she doesn’t blame you, isn’t mad at you, and in fact, loves you so much that her soul agreed to depart at the time it did in order to give all the co-creators involved the opportunity to experience themselves as certain things within the context of “loss”.  It is okay to feel the pain, to be sad, to miss your daughter.  That is part of your experience.  But you also get to decide how you want to experience life after loss; in other words, who do you want to be now?  I hear that you want to be a good mother to your children who are still with you. So your job is to decide what that looks like and be it.  It may also be beneficial to write your daughter who passed on a letter, for your own healing, telling her everything that is in your heart to tell.

    In regards to your question of how to move forward without the pain and struggle, my answer is to let go of the story you are telling that life is painful, that you are creating pain.  Begin to shift your focus on all that is wonderful in your life, and keep it there as much as possible.  This is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself and for your family at this time.  In fact, I recommend developing the practice of daily gratitudes.  That is, begin writing down at least 10 things that you are truly grateful for, that you love or appreciate, every single day.  And furthermore, consciously choose to make your last thoughts before you fall asleep at night, as well as the first thoughts you have when you wake up in the morning, thoughts of gratitude.  This is where we become the creators of our own experience.  If you choose to focus on the “negative”, or the “pain” or the “struggle”, then you will continue to create more of that experience.  But if you choose to focus on and pay more attention to the beauty of life, what you do have versus what you don’t have, what you love versus what you resent or don’t like, then you will create more experiences of good things.  It is really quite remarkable.

    The other thing I recommend is to continue reaching out to others, do what you need to do to heal yourself from what happened, and know that you don’t have to do it alone.  Meditation and journaling are also great ways to both heal and to live more consciously without pain and struggle, as well as being able to better deal with pain and struggle when it does show up.  I think you a remarkable, wonderful, beautiful woman and mother, Maria.  You have the power to experience your life any way you want to.  Please let me know if I can assist you in any other way, and thank you for being willing to share your story and for trusting there is a better way of living for you and for your children.

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     

    An additional resource:  ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.

  • Want to experience God’s love?
    Give up pizza and chocolate

    I never really fully understood the purpose of “giving up” something for Lent.  As a child, growing up in the Catholic religion, I just simply did it because I was told I was supposed to do it, never really grasping the intent of this long-held ritual.  However, I guess in some way, from the perspective of a child, I approached it as a personal challenge just to see if I could do it, but always wondering why God would want me to give up pizza or chocolate, which were my two favorite “things” as a young child; and, therefore, the two things that I must forgo during Lent.  Because, as we all know, in order to truly be in God’s favor, you must give up something that you love, some object or experience that would cause you to suffer in the absence of that particular thing.  And as a very small child, pizza and chocolate had grown to be my “loves” in the universe of my short and tender years.

    Fast-forward now 40 years later, while I understand the history behind the Lenten season, I still remain unclear as to the purpose of giving up “something you love” in the 40 days that fall between Ash Wednesday and Easter…or at ANY time.  At this point in my life, it has become abundantly clear to me that I experience more joy, more peace, and more of a knowing Who I Really Am when I align myself with that which is serving me and to change what is not.  Why would God desire, or actually command, me to remove experiences from my life that bring me joy?  Must the path to God be traveled on a road of suffering?  Why have we imagined a God who manipulates love in such a way?

    Lent is not the only example of how we, as a society, have bought into an idea of forgoing and suffering as a path to The Creator.  There are Yogis who live in the Himalayan Mountains who devote their existence to a life of renunciation, abandoning material comforts and even food in their pursuit of spiritual enlightenment.  It is commonly known that Catholic priests refrain from not only sex, but they resist even entering into a romantic relationship with another based on a belief that it will allow them to better serve and please God.  People who observe the Jewish and Seventh Day Adventist faiths abstain from eating pork and shellfish because of beliefs they hold about what God wants. Those who belong to the Jehovah Witness faith will not celebrate birthdays, nor will they even receive a blood transfusion in medical emergencies, because of beliefs they hold about what God wants.  Many women in the Pentecostal faith will not cut their hair because of beliefs they hold about what God wants….just to name a few.

    Now, an idea that I could more readily embrace would be engaging in 40 days of placing intention on the things that foster our ability to realize and actually experience our Highest Selves and our ever-present connection with God.  I can remember no time in my life where the deprivation of something I love has led to an experience of knowing God.  I can, however, recite numerous occasions where allowing the things I love to flow into my life abundantly most certainly and vividly created a deeper understanding and knowing of Who I Am and what my relationship with God is.

    This idea of suffering has long been misunderstood and misused as a way to “win” or “earn” God’s love.  We are pained to see the visible suffering in the world around us, but we are quick to voluntarily suffer in an effort to seek approval and acceptance from the one source of unconditional love that we actually have.  Why do so few embrace an idea that we do not have to do anything to receive God’s love?  Is that thought too frightening?  Is that concept too easy?  Is that idea too risky?  Would we place that expectation on our own children in order that they may experience our love?

    After all, we are making it all up here, aren’t we?

    Why are we making it up in a way that feels so hard?

    (Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation.  She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)