The Global Conversation

Tag: transition

  • Navigating Big Change Without Going Insane

    I’m going through some big changes in my life on many fronts, from my career changing, moving into a new home, going through a recent break-up, to a loved one being sick.  Some days I feel okay about it all, like I can handle it and that it’s leading me to someplace really, really good even if it doesn’t always feel that way.  Other days I feel like I’m drowning and am full of anxiety, I sometimes even feel depressed and helpless.  How can I ride out this time of great transition without going crazy??

    Marion, Ohio

     

    Hi Marion,

    Oh do I feel for you.  While I believe that all change is for the better, even the tough kind and even if the evidence of that takes awhile to show itself, I can appreciate the difficulty of the state you’re in while going through it.  I happen to be in a time of great flux as well, and have my “I’m going crazy” moments.  While I won’t get into and make it about me, I will tell you that you’re not alone, and offer you some guidance in the form of how I am navigating it all.

    First and foremost, don’t do it alone.  Surround yourself with every person who has ever said “Anything I can do?” or “Let me know if you need anything at all, I’m here for you.”  Take them up on it.  And if you’re short on those kinds of people in your life, hire someone: a coach, a therapist, etc. Or you can reach out to someone on the CWG Helping Outreach team (www.cwghelpingoutreach.com), a team of volunteer Spiritual Helpers who can listen and help you make sense of things.  Also, if you haven’t yet read Neale’s book “When Everything Changes, Change Everything” please grab a copy and dive in.  I will also say that if you think you are clinically depressed, please just stop reading here and go get that help; the following guidance doesn’t really apply in that case.

    Now, for the hands on, do it right now advice.  I follow one major rule of thumb when navigating change, and although it is incredibly simple (in theory, not necessarily in application), it is hands down the most effective tool I have come across for navigating such times, as well as life in general.  When you are feeling down, tired, overwhelmed, hopeless, upset, depressed, etc., do not, I repeat DO NOT think of anything important or make important decisions from that place.  Wait until you feel better, even a little bit better, and believe me, you will.  You’ve already identified that you have days/moments where you feel okay or good about things and trust that everything is unfolding the way it needs to.  Those are the times to give those big topics of change your attention, from that better-feeling place that is also known as a “higher vibrating” place.

    You see, it is when we are feeling good and vibrating high that we have access to the answers, ideas, resources, inspiration and clarity that we need to help us live more in the flow of life versus trying to swim against the current.  It’s when we are feeling like crap and try to act from that place that we are swimming against the current because, put simply, we don’t have access to all of those things I just listed.  We are clouded, confused, can’t seem to see more than an inch or two in front of our faces, and everything looks worse than it really is.  Sound familiar?

    So that’s it in a nutshell.  Avoid the heck out of your reality when you’re feeling down, discipline yourself to simply not give it your attention with the awareness that if you do, you are not accessing truth.  Distract yourself in the meantime with things that help you to feel a tiny bit better until you feel good enough to give it your attention again, even if that looks like taking a nap, crying it out, going for a walk, or watching a movie while eating ice cream (one of my favorites, by the way, though I wouldn’t recommend making this one your go-to move unless you have an extremely high metabolism).

    You can accept that this period of transition will be challenging, you will have ups and you will have downs.  During the downs, give yourself a break.  During the ups, milk it for all it’s worth.  You will find yourself on the other side of this, better for it, a higher version of Who You Really Are, and I can sense that you already know that, Marion.  Go ahead and trust that.

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     

    An additional resource:  The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.

  • My Will be done

    My life is in a period of transition, and I couldn’t be happier.  Change is inevitable and oftentimes met with resistance.  Spiritual teachers profess that happiness can be maintained through life changes by letting go of our resistance to them.  Suffering is the result of our unwillingness to accept the transformations as they occur.  Mastery is the result of intentionally inviting change into our lives.

    Suffering is the result of our unwillingness to accept the transformations as they occur.

    I have reached the point of mastery in my trade without really even knowing I was doing so.  18 years ago, I had my own business subcontracting window treatment installations for decorators and designers in a highly affluent area of New York.  I was very good with my hands and was very successful as a drapery and blind installer.  I had trained to be an interior plantation shutter installer and fell in love with doing those installations. The pay was fantastic, but it was the physical challenges and rewards I really loved.

    Very quickly I became the number one installer in the greater New York area, receiving recommendations by the top shutter manufactures and their wholesalers.  Shutters where not terribly popular in the Northeast back then.  And to this day, they still are not nearly as sought after there as they are in the southern and western states of the U.S.  But it was my dream to be just a shutter installer full time.

    My business was very successful and financially rewarding. I enjoyed being my own boss.  At the young age of 30, I was doing pretty well.

    One day, my then wife came home with the news that she had a great offer to work for a large entertainment company in Orlando, Florida.  She asked me if I was willing to move, and without hesitation, I said yes!  I had never really considered moving from New York, especially to Florida, but I knew that Florida was a good market for shutters.  Three months later, I was living in the Sunshine State.

    As soon as I hit the ground in Orlando, I cracked open the phone book and started calling shutter companies to see if any of them needed an installer. I landed a job the very next day.

    My time at that job was very short, as I did not resonate with the owner and the product they were using.  I had grown accustomed to working with the very finest shutters in the business and found my standards to be above what that company was used to.  So I turned to the company that had been recommended to me and I gave them a call.  Two days later, I would start working for them.

    It has now been 18 years for me with that company and I feel blessed beyond words to have had the opportunity to do what I truly love doing.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I manifested my desires and the universe was more than willing to oblige me.  I have mastered my trade at the highest level because I followed my passion and truly believed that it was possible for me when the opportunity to move presented itself.

    I have now come full circle with installing shutters.  I have worked in every aspect of the shutter industry and feel that my time here is nearly complete.  A little over a year ago, I went to my employer and told him that I was beginning to prepare for my next career and that I would likely only be with him for another year.  Now, that year has turned into almost 2, but my plans have not changed.  I told him that the one last thing I wished to accomplish was training a suitable replacement for myself.

    I can feel the universe lining up once again in my favor as I invite this change fearlessly into my life.  For the last two weeks, I have been training a new installer, and it appears that he may, in fact, have the very same drive I had over 18 years ago.

    A dear friend once told me that he would much rather initiate change in his own life than have life impose its changes upon him.  I couldn’t agree more.  I understand that sometimes change comes in uninvited.

    All change is for the better, and even though we may not see that, time will always reveal this great truth.  Today, when I was remembering my decision to move to Florida, I saw the perfection in life and knew that it wasn’t simply luck or coincidence; it was the result of pure desire and passion. If time has not revealed the gift of your change, you are simply not ready to view it yet.

    I eagerly await the transition that I am currently under.  At times I think, “Why isn’t this coming faster?”  “What am I doing wrong?”  And then I look back and realize that it just isn’t time yet.  I am doing all the right things.  How do I know this?  Because once again, I am following my passion and my desire, and experience tells me this works.

    I try to do something every day that moves me in the direction that I desire to go.  I surround myself with people who will support me in my journey.  I have taken courses to expand my knowledge of the industry I am choosing to be in and feel prepared to seamlessly transition into my next career.  Indeed, I am already doing it!

    We are powerful creators as human beings.  Many times we do not credit ourselves enough for the things in our life that bring us joy.  Without having the belief that these things can be ours, we will never have them.

    Join us Path to Peace recovery retreat in Orlando, Florida, October 24 – 27th.  JR Westen and myself are taking the messages found within the ”Conversations with God”  Cosmology, along with our combined 53 years of personal recovery from alcohol, drug, and food addictions, and offering these retreats as a means of returning people to their authentic selves.  We understand the difficulty people face with overcoming these challenges in life and offer a simple, compassionate, and effective means of living a happy, joyous, and free life. These retreats are not simply a weekend long reprieve from our troubles.  Each attendee will be introduced to past and future participants through our community Facebook page.  In addition, any past participant can attend any future P2P retreat for any donation they wish to make.  You read that right – any donation, from $1 to infinity.  We have seen the lives of people change and remain changed from these retreats.  If this is for you, click here to register.

    We understand that there may be financial hardships keeping you from attending this retreat.  If you feel you would benefit from this retreat but cannot afford it, please contact Will@cwg.org and ask about our scholarships.  It is our deepest desire to help those who truly seek change and we want nothing to stand in the way of that.

    (Kevin McCormack, C.A.d ,is a certified addictions professional and auriculotherapist.  He is a recovering addict with 26 years of sobriety. Kevin is a practicing auriculotherapist, life coach, and interventionist specializing in individual and family recovery and also co-facilitates spiritual recovery retreats for the CWG foundation with JR Westen. You can visit his website here for more information. To connect with Kevin, please email him at Kevin@TheGlobalConversation.com)

     

  • There and Back Again

    Hello Global Conversation Community. It is wonderful to be back into writing. Through all the chaos of the transition into college, my body, mind, and spirit certainly have not been in all the same state of Oneness. But now, there is more harmony in my life. There is more peace, there is more wellness, and there is more wholeness. And I am grateful for every moment I have of it.

    But my story is not unique. It may be personal, but it’s incredibly far from original. Every second of every minute of every hour, people around the world are forgetting the path and finding it back again. In retrospect, it is impossible to lose the path, because every step of your journey is a part of it. But yet somehow we seem to lose our consciousness of that journey, and awareness of why we are on the journey at all. So, for me in the past month and for the rest of the world, I only ask, “Why do we lose the path?”

    In the past, I would have said that the reason why is because society has told us to run away from the truth, to hide under the covers, to bury our heads in the sand. Yet now, being on my own, I’ve realized there’s far more to it than that.

    It’s been easy to ‘pull the blame card on society’ all these years. We’ve been in a state where we have seemingly very little control over our lives. So when things are wrong, and we don’t like them, we point to our family, our friends, our state, country and government as the source of our problem. They said it wasn’t allowed, they said it was the wrong thing to do, they said that it would be a disappointment. With an accumulation of these thoughts, it has become a stigma of control loss.  And yet, once we finally do get into that state of freedom, we realize that the choice is completely ours. Society may tell attempt to tell us what to do, but at the end of the day, we know that are the ones making the final decision. On love, on life, on everything. It’s our internal choice.

    Whatever we have decided has manifested our reality. IF we have decided fear, then we have CREATED fear. If we have decided guilt, then we have CREATED guilt. This is nothing new, nothing that is groundbreaking. However, it’s about being aware of those decisions. For the majority of the planet, the answer to the “why” question above is the external societal distractions. But now, look for that answer to the “why” internally.

    At the very least, ask yourself daily:

    Why did I choose to manifest this in my life?

    IF you do this, you WILL learn A LOT about yourself. You will find things you don’t like. You will find things that you have attempted to hide or dissociate from. But being aware of these mental blocks, being conscious of these ego pitfalls, is what makes the difference. It’s what makes us remember the path that we are on. And knowing why, we can choose to bring back love, peace, and joy into those spots of chaos, confusion, and turmoil. And who doesn’t want that?

    So, in retrospect, always understand your reason, and always understand your choice. When we stop asking, we lose ourselves, and we stumble in the dark. To walk so blindly is to live the ‘society’ way, and what has that led to but more loss of self? But to ask why is to always look at our purpose, at our meaning, at our very reason for life itself. And that is what I’ve discovered, and that is why I’m back for good.

    (Lauren Rourk is a Feature Editor at The Global Conversation and attends Purdue University in West Lafayette, IN. She can be contacted at Lauren@TheGlobalConversation.com)

  • Where am I going and who’s going with me?

    My husband’s employer is promoting him, which will require him to be transferred to another city across the country. Although both my husband and I are really excited about how this can kickstart his career, I’m torn. We are finally living back in our home state after fifteen years and I thought we would be here for the rest of our lives. I really love it here, but truthfully don’t have a lot going on with my work. How do I reconcile my love for my husband with my love for my home? Do I just blindly follow him? What about me and my soul’s purpose?… Angel

    Dear Angel… Your timing in this question is perfect, because two out of the three advice columnists here are going through the same thing, myself being one of them. We aren’t moving because our husbands have been transferred, but the situations are otherwise very similar. In my case I have had to do some serious soul searching to see how I feel about my husband’s strong desire to move.

    Neale says the two most important questions we can ask in our lives are these:

    1. Where am I going? …and…

    2. Who’s going with me?

    He advises us to never reverse the order of the questions. In all three of our cases, our husbands were the ones who wanted to go first, leaving us with the question of whether or not to go with them. The reason to never reverse the order of the questions, of course, is this: We must each follow our own soul’s path. As indicated by your final question, you wisely already understand this.

    In my case, having been blissfully happily married for 23 years, my first inclination was to follow the Biblical quote from the Book of Ruth, “Whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge…” because my relationship with my husband comes first and foremost in my life. I know at a very deep level that we are soul partners on this physical journey and we are huge help-mates to each other. So the question becomes, how to reconcile his path with my own?

    Whenever I have confusion about anything in my life, Angel, I always go to the Source of all wisdom for answers. I have learned how to quickly access my soul’s higher knowing through my own personal conversations with God, knowing that even before I ask, the answers are already given. This is promised in many spiritual texts, and I have always found it to be true.

    If you don’t know how to do this, I can tell you two very powerful ways that work for me. Both processes require you to get very clear what your question is, then write it down and have plenty of paper ready for whatever answers might come through. If you are used to meditating or praying and can effectively quiet your mind, this is a great way to receive answers. Simply write down your question, go deeply into your quiet space and be open to whatever comes through you. Write it down without censoring it, and if more questions come up, write them down also, then write whatever answers come. Allow the questions and answers to become a dialogue if that happens. Don’t fret, though, if this isn’t how it works for you. This is a skill I have honed, so the conversations come easily to me now, but when I first started, only a few sentences came through. Even if you don’t perceive anything when you first try this, please rest assured, if you live inside the question and continue doing the process, the answers will come. Practice makes perfect.

    If you are not comfortable quieting your mind in meditation, or even if you are, another wonderful way to access your highest information is to write the question down before retiring at night. Thank God in advance for any answers that may come through, then in the morning reach for your notepad and write down anything that comes to mind, again without censoring it. You can always look later at what you wrote, to see if it feels right and true for you, and you get to decide what, if anything, to do about it.

    Remember, as Conversations With God says, “There is nothing you have to do.” You are always at choice in every matter, even those that seem like they are backing you into a corner. Everything we do is by choice. I don’t buy it when someone says, “I had no choice,” because God has given us total free will. If you are an adult human being, you have the liberty to choose how to live your life.

    All of us are three-part beings, made up of body, mind and soul. It may help you to know the purpose of each:

    1. The function of the soul is to indicate its desires (not impose them).

    2. The function of the mind is to choose from its alternatives.

    3. The function of the body is to act out that choice.

    This is what Conversations With God calls the “Three Functions of Life”. Your job now is to find out what your soul’s desire is, decide if that’s what you want to do, then act out that choice.

    Because, like you, I was torn about whether to move, I had my own conversation with God about it. The messages that came through made it very clear that this move is not only highest and best for my husband’s soul purpose, it is highest and best for mine as well. At one point, I simply wrote, “I surrender,” and this is the response I received. I hope it helps you too:

    “That is good. Yes, surrender, but only and always with the knowing that I will never ask you to do something that doesn’t feel good to your soul. It may not always feel good to your mind, and that is because your mind doesn’t always understand all there is to know about something. When this happens, LIVE INSIDE THE QUESTION. Don’t be such a perfectionist that you have to know everything there is to know about a situation right now. Live inside the question. Allow yourself the luxury of being happy regardless, TRUSTING that I will not mis-lead you. I will not make mistakes on your behalf. I will only pave the most perfect way, if you will let me and not try to do it yourself.”

    It went on to say, “Enlarge your vision… Get ready for a brand new lifestyle. Stay centered now more than ever as you make this transition… It’s time. It’s time. This is the day that the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it!”

    I, for one, Angel, always follow the guidance I receive. I listen to the wisdom of the Voice within me, knowing it is Divine Intelligence at work in my life. And most importantly, I trust it. I surrender to it because my soul knows much better than my mind what is highest and best for me. Those are two very powerful words:

    “I surrender.”

    I hope this helps, dear Angel. Your soul already knows what is highest and best for you. Our souls are the part of us that are always perfectly aligned with God, even when our minds aren’t, so please allow God’s information—Gods in formation—to come through you. If you choose to follow it, I promise you, it will never steer you wrong. I wish you the very best as you move into the next segment of your physical life journey, and trust that you already know what to do.

    (Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School.To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to:  Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

    An additional resource:  ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Stuck in Limbo

    Recently I made the decision to switch careers and do what I really want to do, which is in speaking, consulting and writing, and I’m really happy about that.  The problem is I’m not officially leaving my day job for another 3 months and I’m not sure I can make it that long!  I have mentally checked out, all I want to do is work on stuff for my new business, but I know that I have to stay with my job for awhile longer for financial reasons and because I made a commitment to so I can train in the new employee.  It’s also beginning to affect my personal life because I’m so busy trying to do both.  It all makes sense on the outside but I’m miserable on the inside and the thought of feeling this way for the next 3 months is terrible.  Do you have any advice on how I can manage during this limbo period?

    David, Indiana

     

    Hi David,

    Being a firm believer in your external conditions not having to determine your happiness or internal conditions, yes, there are many ways to manage what you’re feeling and how you’re experiencing this limbo period.  However, this could be less of an issue of “managing during this limbo period” as it is of challenging your beliefs around this transition, and what you think it needs to look like.  Since I don’t know the whole story, I’m going to give you a bit of direction around both and you can choose the one that feels best, sound good?

    First of all, I want to invite you to remember that you are at the cause of your own experience.  Maybe not all the events in your life, but definitely the experiences.  So bring some loving consciousness and awareness into the situation by setting your intention each and every day.  How do you want the day to go?  What state of being would you like to be in?  Sometimes that’s all it takes, because it reminds you that you are at the cause and not the effect of how your day goes.  But to give your intentions even more support, engage in some daily practices that will support positive thought, words and actions throughout your day, such as daily gratitude, or meditation.  I cannot stress enough how important the word daily is here.  You see, it is not enough to occasionally engage in such practices or occasionally choose to have a positive outlook, in fact this is what sometimes causes people to find themselves in the this-positive-thinking-stuff-just-isn’t-working-for-me-trap.  If you’re looking to feel good and be happy most of the time, then make a daily effort to make that happen.  We are all more than capable of this.

    Now for the beliefs approach.  What is your current belief around this transitional period?  Based on what you said I’m going to guess that your belief is something like this: “I made a commitment to stay for 3 months and they are all depending on me to train my replacement in and I don’t want to let them down.  Plus, my business isn’t quite ready yet and I need the money coming in right now.”  Is that close? I think we stay in situations that suck the life out of us largely because we hold at least one of 3 beliefs about it: we are obligated to stay, fear of the unknown, or we are responsible for the feelings of others.  So I want you to ask yourself some big questions here, such as a)are you staying for the 3 months for one of the above reasons and b)if so, could there be another belief that might serve you better here?  Take a look at some assumptions you’ve made based on your belief about this.  For example, is it really necessary for me to train in my replacement for 3 months?  Would they be okay if I only did 1 month, or gave the widely accepted two-week notice instead?  Really, would the company collapse in my absence?  My guess is probably not.  They’d be just fine, and they are also at the cause of their own experience here; in other words, nobody’s happiness is dependent on you other than your own.  As for the financial reasons, is the belief you have about this based in fear or love?  What would love do here?

    So, David, you’ve got some thinking, contemplating, deciding, and re-creating to do.  But I encourage you to not be overwhelmed by this, but instead be over-joyed by it.  Our ability to re-create ourselves anew in each and every moment, to be at the cause of our own experience, is an incredible gift.  Challenging, yes of course, but incredibly and deeply fulfilling, too.

     

    (Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

    (If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com, where our team is waiting to hear from you.)

     

    An additional resource:  ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.