Two questions to ask in every relationship
I have a chance to take a good job offer in another city, but it means possibly having to end my relationship, because my lover and companion does not want to leave where we are now, for lots of reasons. His own good job is here, and also, his children. They are fully grown, but he does maintain a friendship relationship with them. I hate to lose this relationship, but I hate to lose this career opportunity, too. Any thoughts? Barbara M., Peoria, Illiinois
Dear Barbara…CWG suggests that you ask yourself two questions regarding any relationship:
1.Where am I going?
2. Who’s going with me?
In that order.
“Where am I going?” implies that you must listen to yourself…to honor those “gut” feelings. A simple way of doing this is to sit quietly for a moment. Take a few deep breaths, then say, out loud: “I am going to take the job.”
Pay attention: what are the sensations in your body?
Next, say, “I am going to stay where I am.”
Pay attention: what does your body say about this?
This is important, because you should only decide things in relationships based on mutually decided goals…you should never dictate your life by what other people feel is “right” for you. You must know, and stand in, your truth. Which leads to the second question:
Who’s going with me? If your companion has the same goals for the relationship, he will follow–even if what he is following is your decision to stay. Or he may ask you to stay where you are, which is just as “fair” as you asking him if he will to go with you. Both actions are legitimate demonstrations that he has the same goals for the relationship as you do. So, it still means you must know where you are going, and why. In other words, what part of your Divinity do you choose to express, staying or going?
If, dear one, you would like to know more about what Conversations With God has to say about relationships, I would suggest you go to Book 1, Chapter 8. Just a snippet:
You have no obligation in relationship, You have only opportunity.
Opportunity, not obligation, is the cornerstone of religion, the basis of all spirituality. So long as you see it the other way around you will have missed the point.
Relationship – your relationship to all things – was created as your perfect tool in the work of the soul. That is why relationships are sacred ground. It is why every personal relationship is holy. Never do anything in a relationship out of a sense of obligation. Do whatever you do out of a sense of the glorious opportunity your relationship affords you to decide, and to be, Who You Really Are….. long-term relationships do hold remarkable opportunities for mutual growth, mutual expression, and mutual fulfillment – and that has its own reward.
Therese
(Therese Wilson is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offering insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
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