If only you were ‘this,’ then I could be ‘that’
By the time Jenny Lee was 28 years old, she’d already had 26 plastic surgeries:
Breast implants (twice)
Cheek implants
Chin implant
Lip implants (3 times)
Nose jobs (3 times)
Breast lift (3 times)
Liposuction on her arms, hips, thighs, stomach & knees
A full body lift
Botox injections
Veneers
Why?
Her answer to this one-word question is simply, “Because my husband told me that my breasts were too small and my nose was too big.”
In an effort to achieve her perception of perfection – (including a belief that these choices would somehow become the source of her partner’s happiness) – Jenny Lee attempted to literally recreate her body, thus hoping to recreate her reality, through a painful journey of surgery after surgery after surgery.
The cruel twist in this story is that after Jenny had the breast enlargements and the plethora of other procedures, instead of finally receiving what she desired most, her husband’s love and affection, she was met with a new unwelcome response from him: resentment and jealousy… because now, ironically, she was receiving too much attention from others.
Reading this story about Jenny caused me to reflect upon why women – or anyone, for that matter – began perceiving themselves as less than whole and adopted belief systems which embraced the notion that certain conditions create happiness, not only within ourselves, but within others: “If I have thinner thighs or less wrinkles, I will be worthy of love”…”If he was taller and had more hair, he would be perfect”….”If she would look this way, I would feel that way.”
We cram our feet into uncomfortable shoes.
We stuff our legs into binding pantyhose and hip-slimming Spanx.
We pluck our eyebrows and color our hair and bleach our teeth.
We only feel pretty when we have make-up on…and we have become experts at “Photoshopping” out our perceived flaws.
Why are we doing this?
What is it that we are imagining ourselves to need? Or be lacking? Or simply not remembering?
“Communion with God” says “need” is not only the first illusion, but the grandest illusion, the illusion upon which ALL other illusions are based. The illusion of need manifests in all areas of our lives, but it becomes particularly painful when it permeates the most sacred space of intimacy within a partnership of souls. Some people feel unworthy to stand before their beloved other unclothed. Some people withhold from their lover the most sensual physical experience of love. Some people go so far as to undergo 26-plus cosmetic surgeries to “fix” what they think is “broke.”
What can we do to change this?
As our society continues to shift and inch closer to the understandings and concepts held with the New Spirituality, will we remember that it is through the transformation of our thoughts about Who We Really Are, rather than our ideas about who we think we should be, that we will be presented the grandest opportunity to experience ourselves as whole and perfect….and as God?
Or is it perhaps that an alteration of our physicality is just another path to a spiritual transformation?
(Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support . To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
