What would love do now?
Wear a pink tutu in Times Square, of course!
51-year-old Bob Carey, standing 5-foot-10-inches tall, and weighing more than 200 pounds, is appearing around the country in only a pink tutu and creating a 61-page book of his self-portraits in an effort to support his Beloved Other, Linda, who has advanced breast cancer.
His extraordinary journey has taken him to the Grand Canyon, Coney Island, Times Square, The Washington Monument, a cow pasture in the midwest, and Giants Stadium, just to highlight a few. You can view some of the images from his self-published book here: Tutu Breast Cancer Project.
Linda Lancaster-Carey, 51, who was diagnosed with cancer in 2003, says, “He’s not afraid to put himself out there. It’s his own body, with all its imperfections.” The Careys say laughter has always been at the heart of their relationship and that the photography allowed Bob Carey to focus on something other than his own fear and anger surrounding his wife’s illness and the loss of his father to lung cancer and his mother to breast cancer.
The Careys’ story demonstrates the level of unconditional love that so many people desperately yearn for but fall short of time and time again in their relationships, a level of love and commitment that perhaps may have not have been as fully experienced but for Linda’s illness.
I imagine there was an earlier time in Bob Carey’s life where he would not have even considered donning only a pink tutu in the middle of Times Square, much less actually do it. Even now, some members of the media have been less than kind, colorfully pointing out the flaws in Carey’s physique, to which he replies, “The photos are about transforming into somebody I’m not. It’s about being vulnerable.” Carey is also feeling pushback from critics who question his actions, women who are put off by the pink tutu and those who have grown tired of the “pinkification” of October, which has been designated as Breast Cancer Awareness month.
In the midst of darkness and pain and uncertainty, Bob Carey answered the question, “What would love do now?” He pushed past the illusions of fear, embraced his vulnerability, and stepped into his next grandest version of himself, gifting to his wife and all those whose lives he touches the remembrance of his own sufficiency and divinity. His act of self-definition now spans the country, if not the world, so others, too, can remember more fully who they are: as sufficient and divine.
Conversations with God, Book 1, reminds us:
“What you do for your Self, you do for another.
What you do for another, you do for the Self.
And this is because you and the other are one.
And this is because…
There is naught but You.”
Perhaps the Careys’ story will serve to inspire us all today to do something extraordinary, something silly and unexpected, an expression of pure givingness to our partner, and thus to ourselves — or to ourselves, and thus to all of humanity — as a demonstration of our Highest Self and our deepest affection and in remembrance of who we really are.
Yes?
(Lisa McCormack is the Managing Editor & Administrator of The Global Conversation. She is also a member of the Spiritual Helper team at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support . To connect with Lisa, please e-mail her at Lisa@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
