The five levels of truth-telling

The first time I read about this concept, it resonated deeply within my soul.  But I must admit, I was a bit fearful that it would not be easy to apply on an everyday basis.

Sure, in my years as a patient, and then as a therapist, I had learned the value of truth and did my best to honor it both in my professional and personal life…most of the time.

So what was still keeping me from being truthful in certain situations?

Well, I told myself it was in order not to hurt others – to protect them, you might say.  But in reality, as it is for most of us, I was paralyzed by the thought that if I tell my truth, I may lose the interest, love, and appreciation of others. I was the one scared of being hurt.

Of course, Life, benevolent and loving as it is, heard my interrogation and was already working at creating the perfect circumstances for me to experience the power of truth-telling.

It started with a conference call with Neale Donald Walsch (being a spiritual helper on WECCE, I am so very fortunate to participate in those).

On that particular call, a helper asked Neale – given his extensive life experience and wisdom – what piece of advice he would give to a young person starting in life. Neale did not have to think over it twice.

“To tell the truth all the time” was his first and foremost answer.  He went on to add that even though it wasn’t easy, it was one of the soul’s highest goals, and that truth should be told in a peaceful, respectful way.

So there it was again, taunting me to look at myself squarely and stop hiding behind false pretense.

I went back to the 5 Levels of Truth and started applying them to the situations in my life where I felt difficulty or conflicts. Sure enough, I was not being totally transparent in those exchanges.

It all starts with:

Telling the Truth to Yourself About Yourself

This one may sound like a no-brainer, but it’s really not. Often we tell ourselves what we tell others: nice little fibs. We are afraid of the truth itself.  We imagine awful consequences to our revelations and use them as pretexts to stay in an uncomfortable “comfort zone.”

Still, I felt pretty sure I knew my truth. In my present situation, it had to do with a very close friend who was making jokes and comments which conflicted with my values.

So I moved on to the second level of truth-telling:

Tell the Truth to Yourself About Another

This one had me pondering. I mean, obviously we have a hard time staying neutral about others, but shouldn’t this be a goal?

I was forgetting an essential truth:  Seeing is not judging.  Judging is forming an opinion based not on our feelings but on our thoughts; whereas seeing is simply observing from the soul’s point of view.  This was pretty subtle, but I could see where this was taking me.

It was taking me beyond my pride and prejudices.  Suddenly I could see what was at stake – namely, not my opinions on defensive humor and criticism, but the reality behind it:  my friend’s psychological and spiritual well-being.

The next level was:

Tell the Truth About Yourself to Others

I thought I could do that and started having conversations with him around this subject. Yes, around…not totally addressing it. Once again, this is something we all do at one point or another (especially if you’re a woman and have been taught you should not hurt/make waves/contradict others for the last 2,000 years).

A bit taken aback by the lack of result my endeavors were having, I moved on to the fourth level of truth-telling:

Tell Your Truth About Another to the Other

This left me feeling sad and at loss, because I tried and tried and tried again, but he would not take my advice on consulting a therapist, nor reading books that might provide with some guidance.  In fact, this only served to separate us more.  I thought our friendship was just coming to an end and I had to accept it.

Still, I moved on to the last level of truth-telling:

Tell Your Truth to Everyone About Everything 

That sounded impossible and yet it jerked me awake.  I realized that I had been so entrenched in my own little drama (the fear of losing my friend, the fear I wasn’t providing efficient help) that I still had not told my initial truth.

Not telling this very same truth had separated us a first time many years ago. It was now poisoning the relationship, like every secret, every lie always does.

So I decided to follow Neale’s advice to a “T.”  I worked on ways to convey my truth in a peaceful, non-judging way, and then asked to see him.

Neale had been right, it wasn’t easy.  It took some courage, some guts even.  And then all hell broke loose, the relationship ended…and not nicely.

Still, I felt liberated.  I knew I had demonstrated to myself and to my friend respect by putting words on my feelings.  Whatever pain or sadness I encountered in the following months over this ending, there wasn’t a trace of regret in me about telling my truth.

In fact, this prompted me to honor my truth more and more, in every aspect of my life, making my relationships happier and easier.  Now, I won’t lie to you, sometimes I lose sight of my truth, I feel uncomfortable about something and it takes me some time to identify what it is and then some more to convey it in a proper way.

But you know what? The Soul leaves no stone unturned.  Lies and half-truths will come back to haunt you until you set the truth free.  And once you do, not only does this works, it ripples…

A month ago, my friend came back. He had started seeing a therapist and was starting to feel much better.  One of the things that had strongly prompted this change was our conversation and the ensuing break-up.

Tell your truth and expect miracles…both inside and around you.

(Sophie Lise Fargue is a therapist working with energy, animating workshops and giving seminars on Personal Development in Paris, France. She also volunteers as a Spiritual Helper at www.ChangingChange.net, a website offering emotional and spiritual support. You may connect with her at www.revenirasoi.com or slfargue@gmail.com.)