Home for the Holidays…ho, ho, ho??
Dear Therese,
I am about to visit my family for the holidays, and I am very nervous about this trip. We have a difficult history, that’s mostly okay now, but we haven’t seen each other for a long time. How do I get through this with no drama?
KC in NC
Dear KC,
This is a difficult and stressful time of year for a lot of people, so don’t think that your situation is unique!
The first thing I would offer you is resist projecting past data onto the present. When you do this, you set yourself up to be the one who repeats past behavior, and triggers others to repeat past drama. The way that works best for me is to remember we are all doing best we can. The only thing you have control of is you, so be your best, and don’t worry about them.
Another suggestion would be to declare who you wish to be before you leave on the trip, and each day as you awaken while you are there. If, for instance, you declare yourself to be peaceful, your doing would come from that space…you would ask yourself, consciously or not, “What would peace do here?” This works for any state of being. I often choose understanding.
If you do these things, the possibility of drama diminishes. And if it does occur, you are not the cause of the drama. You can sit calmly in the middle of the chaos, and let others have the path they choose to take, knowing it no longer has to be yours.
Therese
(Therese Wilson is a published poet, and is the administrator of the global website at www.ChangingChange.net, which offers spiritual assistance from a team of Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less, and offers insight, suggestions, and companionship during moments of unbidden, unexpected, unwelcome change on the journey of life. She may be contacted at Therese@TheGlobalConversation.com.)
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