My mate was unfaithful
I am confused and hurt. I recently found out my boyfriend of two years has cheated on me with three different women. I thought that he was a very spiritual person because he teaches Chi kung, but this doesn’t sound like very spiritual behavior to me! … Jewel
Dear Jewel… Conversations With God Book 3 says that God is eternal, unlimited and free.
Conversations With God also says that we can substitute the word “Love” for “God”, so let’s do that with our previous statement. It would then read:
Love is eternal, unlimited and free.
Do you know that God is all there is and that your boyfriend is a part of God? When he is freely expressing unlimited love to others besides you, his girlfriend, he is actually acting from a very natural place. Our society calls it cheating, but in truth, the sexual behavior itself isn’t cheating, his dishonesty about it is.
Now, it is true that many of us, myself included, freely choose to be in a monogamous relationship, meaning a relationship with just one mate. However, many people feel that a monogamous relationship limits their freedom too much, and apparently your boyfriend is one of those people. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you or that he means to hurt you. He just cares more about following his natural inclinations.
I would gently suggest that it is your thought about his actions that is causing you pain. If you can allow yourself to understand why he is doing what he is doing and not take it personally, you can begin to alleviate your mental suffering.
I’m sorry if it hurts to hear this, Jewel, but if you want a monogamous relationship with a man, it may not be possible with your present boyfriend. It’s logical to conclude that if he has been with three other women already, his pattern of behavior will likely continue.
If you choose to move on from this relationship, please be very honest with him about why you are doing so. Speak your truth but soothe your words with peace.
Allow yourself time to grieve if you’re still feeling sad, and take stock of the aspects of this relationship that you don’t want to experience next time around. Then set your sights on what you do want.
Take some time to get really clear on the qualities you would like to have in a mate. Make a list of them and allow yourself to feel how great that kind of relationship would be. Then happily release it to the Universe, trusting that It is working to bring this wonderful new man into your life.
But please also know this, Jewel: You need no one outside of yourself to complete you. Because you are also a part of God, you are whole, complete and perfect just as you are. Do whatever it takes to be a happy and fulfilled person on your own. Then you will be so irresistible, you will automatically draw a wonderful mate to yourself!
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Life Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com
(If you would like a question considered for publication, please submit your request to: Advice@TheGlobalConversation.com where our team is waiting to hear from you.)
An additional resource: ChangingChange.net offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services. The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions. What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God. It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.
