The Wrong Choice Doesn’t Exist

I’m struggling with a recent choice I’ve made, and desperately trying to find my spiritual center here, as it is pretty clear I can’t go back on this decision.  I entered into a business agreement/partnership that I was at first really excited and happy about and am now feeling full of fear, doubt, and maybe even some regret.  I feel stuck in this decision, and I’m confused by how confident I felt when I made it and how I’m so not right now.  Not sure what I’m asking here, I guess I just want to know how to deal with something that I’ve created and am feeling lost about.

Michelle, Tampa

Hi Michelle,

In my book, there are few feelings as bad as the one you get when you think you’ve made a mistake – it’s torture!  I feel for you, I do, but I also have some very good news: there is no right or wrong choice here.  There is the choice you make, the meaning you give it, and where you choose to place your focus from there.  These 3 ingredients heavily impact your experience of the choice you’ve made, and more good news, you are completely in control of that.

It sounds to me like what you are asking for here is how to feel good about your choice, or at least your current experience.  It doesn’t hurt to mention that if backing out is something you truly want and believe is the best for you, it is always possible; when there’s a will there’s a way and all that good stuff, but I personally look at it as more of a giving “the how” of it over to the Universe or God to figure out.  But to be honest with you, Michelle, that’s not really the vibe I’m getting here.  I could be wrong, but let’s go with it anyway.

It is completely normal to feel scared out of our minds and filled with fear, doubt, anxiety, worry, etc. after making a life-altering decision, and I’m guessing that’s a large part of why you can’t connect to that original enthusiasm and excitement you felt when making this business decision.  Conversations with God says that there is no right or wrong, no should or shouldn’t, there isn’t even an absolute truth.  Life has no meaning, in fact, save the meaning we give it.  So how do we go about making decisions from that understanding?  CWG also says that your own truth about something will be your highest thought, your highest feeling about something, which I like to translate into if it feels good, it’s right. Remember, Michelle, it felt really good when you made this decision.  The fact that it doesn’t so much now doesn’t necessarily point to it being the wrong decision after all; like I said, it’s more than likely a very normal reaction to a big change in your life.

So if you can accept all of that to be true (and it’s totally okay if you don’t, at the very least use it as a context to decide even more clearly what is true for you), then it all comes down to those last two ingredients I spoke of : choosing the meaning (and I recommend choosing something that feels good) and then consciously and diligently placing your focus on the parts that you like, and avoiding the rest like the plague.  Put another way, if the meaning you decide this experience is that it is indeed the right choice for you, and it’s completely natural for you to freak out a bit and that’s okay, spend your time and energy focusing on and turning up the volume on the things about this business agreement that excite you, that are attractive to you, that light you up.  Turn it up so loud that you can’t even hear the rest (fear, doubt, uncertainty, etc.), in fact, turn the volume down on that stuff!

It is entirely in your power to enjoy and feel good about this decision, Michelle, any decision really.  Look at this as some really good and really BIG practice.

(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

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