Navigating Big Change Without Going Insane

I’m going through some big changes in my life on many fronts, from my career changing, moving into a new home, going through a recent break-up, to a loved one being sick.  Some days I feel okay about it all, like I can handle it and that it’s leading me to someplace really, really good even if it doesn’t always feel that way.  Other days I feel like I’m drowning and am full of anxiety, I sometimes even feel depressed and helpless.  How can I ride out this time of great transition without going crazy??

Marion, Ohio

Hi Marion,

Oh do I feel for you.  While I believe that all change is for the better, even the tough kind and even if the evidence of that takes awhile to show itself, I can appreciate the difficulty of the state you’re in while going through it.  I happen to be in a time of great flux as well, and have my “I’m going crazy” moments.  While I won’t get into and make it about me, I will tell you that you’re not alone, and offer you some guidance in the form of how I am navigating it all.

First and foremost, don’t do it alone.  Surround yourself with every person who has ever said “Anything I can do?” or “Let me know if you need anything at all, I’m here for you.”  Take them up on it.  And if you’re short on those kinds of people in your life, hire someone: a coach, a therapist, etc. Or you can reach out to someone on the CWG Helping Outreach team (www.cwghelpingoutreach.com), a team of volunteer Spiritual Helpers who can listen and help you make sense of things.  Also, if you haven’t yet read Neale’s book “When Everything Changes, Change Everything” please grab a copy and dive in.  I will also say that if you think you are clinically depressed, please just stop reading here and go get that help; the following guidance doesn’t really apply in that case.

Now, for the hands on, do it right now advice.  I follow one major rule of thumb when navigating change, and although it is incredibly simple (in theory, not necessarily in application), it is hands down the most effective tool I have come across for navigating such times, as well as life in general.  When you are feeling down, tired, overwhelmed, hopeless, upset, depressed, etc., do not, I repeat DO NOT think of anything important or make important decisions from that place.  Wait until you feel better, even a little bit better, and believe me, you will.  You’ve already identified that you have days/moments where you feel okay or good about things and trust that everything is unfolding the way it needs to.  Those are the times to give those big topics of change your attention, from that better-feeling place that is also known as a “higher vibrating” place.

You see, it is when we are feeling good and vibrating high that we have access to the answers, ideas, resources, inspiration and clarity that we need to help us live more in the flow of life versus trying to swim against the current.  It’s when we are feeling like crap and try to act from that place that we are swimming against the current because, put simply, we don’t have access to all of those things I just listed.  We are clouded, confused, can’t seem to see more than an inch or two in front of our faces, and everything looks worse than it really is.  Sound familiar?

So that’s it in a nutshell.  Avoid the heck out of your reality when you’re feeling down, discipline yourself to simply not give it your attention with the awareness that if you do, you are not accessing truth.  Distract yourself in the meantime with things that help you to feel a tiny bit better until you feel good enough to give it your attention again, even if that looks like taking a nap, crying it out, going for a walk, or watching a movie while eating ice cream (one of my favorites, by the way, though I wouldn’t recommend making this one your go-to move unless you have an extremely high metabolism).

You can accept that this period of transition will be challenging, you will have ups and you will have downs.  During the downs, give yourself a break.  During the ups, milk it for all it’s worth.  You will find yourself on the other side of this, better for it, a higher version of Who You Really Are, and I can sense that you already know that, Marion.  Go ahead and trust that.

(Nova Wightman is a CWG Life Coach, as well as the owner and operator of Go Within Life Coaching, www.gowithincoaching.com, specializing in helping individuals blend their spirituality with their humanity in a way that makes life more enjoyable, easy, and fulfilling.  She can be reached at Nova@theglobalconversation.com. )

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An additional resource:  The CWG Helping Outreach offers spiritual assistance from a team of non-professional/volunteer Spiritual Helpers responding to every post from readers within 24 hours or less. Nothing on the CCN site should be construed or is intended to take the place of or be in any way similar to professional therapeutic or counseling services.  The site functions with the gracious willing assistance of lay persons without credentials or experience in the helping professions.  What these volunteers possess is an awareness of the theology of Conversations with God.  It is from this context that they offer insight, suggestions, and spiritual support during moments of unbidden, unexpected, or unwelcome change on the journey of life.