I want what my friend has!
My friend Kimberly gets all the guys and all the money while I’m always struggling to pay the bills and never meet any men I like. It’s not fair. I don’t get it! She always seems to find the best-looking, nicest guys, and if it doesn’t work out, she meets another one in no time. And she doesn’t have to work because she always gets plenty of money from her ex-husband, while I’m always slaving away, trying to make ends meet. I love her a lot but can’t help feeling jealous and it’s starting to affect our relationship. … Lori
Dear Lori… I can certainly understand why you are feeling frustrated in this relationship, but the good news is, I have a key that can unlock a whole new way of looking at this AND help you start to have similar experiences to hers.
You say you are feeling jealousy, so I invite you to work toward changing that feeling to envy. Here’s why: Jealousy is detrimental to our well-being, while envy is healthy and inspiring. Envy is one of the Five Natural Emotions. It’s what makes you want to do what someone else is doing, knowing that you CAN. It’s what makes you get back on the bike after you fall off, because others have demonstrated that they can stay on it! If we become resentful that they can stay on the bike when we can’t, that’s when we become jealous. Envy continually repressed becomes jealousy, a very unnatural emotion. If you continue to feel jealous and resentful of Kimberly, it may, indeed, undermine your relationship.
The key is simple: Change your thought from “It’s not fair that she gets all the guys and money she wants” to, “If she can do it, I can too!” Allow her experience of life to inspire you instead of depress you. Let it serve as a springboard for creating similar experiences in your own life, because the truth is, there is nothing you cannot have as long as you realize it. And if she really is the friend you say she is, I’m sure she will be happy to tell you how she does it! Even if she doesn’t fully understand the metaphysical reasons behind her money and men friend manifestations, I would bet that something she says when relating her experiences to you will light a spark of understanding that will help you not only no longer feel jealous, but will give you ideas about how you, too, can have all the men and money you want for yourself.
(Annie Sims is the Global Director of CWG Advanced Programs, is a Conversations With God Coach and author/instructor of the CWG Online School. To connect with Annie, please email her at Annie@TheGlobalConversation.com.
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